Aladdin Page #3

At last.

- What are you doing?

- Giving you your reward.

Your eternal reward.

lt's mine. lt's all mine.

l... where is it?

No.

No!

Oh, dearest. What's wrong?

Jafar has done something terrible.

There there, my dear.

We'll set it right.

Now, tell me everything.

Wake up.

My head.

We're trapped.

That two-faced son of a jackal.

Well, whoever he was,

he's long gone with that lamp.

Why, you hairy little thief.

lt looks like such a beat-up,

worthless piece of junk.

l think there's something written here,

but it's hard to make out.

Ten thousand years will give you

such a crick in the neck.

Hang on a second.

Wow, does it feel good

to be out of there.

Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen.

Where are you from? What's your name?

Aladdin.

Nice to have you on the show.

Can we call you Al? Or maybe just Din?

How about Laddie? Sounds like

''Here, boy.'' Come on, Laddie.

l must've hit my head harder

than l thought.

Do you smoke? Mind if l do?

Sorry, Cheetah,

l hope l didn't singe the fur.

Rugman, haven't seen you

in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.

You're smaller than my last master.

Either that or l'm getting bigger.

Look at me from the side.

Do l look different to you?

Wait a minute. l'm your master?

That's right. He can be taught.

What would you wish of me?

The ever-impressive,

the long-contained,

often imitated,

but never duplicated...

Genie of the Lamp.

Right here, direct from the lamp.

Right here for

your very much wish-fulfillment.

Thank you.

- Wish-fulfillment?

- Three, to be exact.

lx-nay on the wishing

for more wishes.

That's it. Three.

No substitutions,

exchanges or refunds.

- Now l know l'm dreaming.

- You don't realize what you got here.

- Now l know l'm dreaming.

- You don't realize what you got here.

So why don't you just ruminate

whilst l illuminate the possibilities?

Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves

SCheherazade had a thousand tales

But, master, you're in luCk

'Cause up your sleeves

You got a brand of magiC never fails

You got some poWer in your Corner noW

Some heavy ammunition in your Camp

You got some punCh, pizzazz,

Yahoo and hoW

See, all you got to do

ls rub that lamp and l'll say

Mr, Aladdin, sir,

What Will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order, jot it doWn

You ain't never had a friend like me

Life is your restaurant

And l'm your matre d'

Come on, Whisper What it is you Want

You ain't never had a friend like me

Yes, sir, We pride ourselves on serviCe

You're the boss, the king, the shah

Say What you Wish,

lt's yours, true dish

HoW 'bout a little more baklava?

Have some of Column A,

Try all of Column B

l'm in the mood to help you, dude

You ain't never had a friend like me

Oh, my

No, no

Can your friends do this?

Can your friends do that?

Can your friends pull this

Out their little hat?

Can your friends go,,,

Hey, looky here

Can your friends go

AbraCadabra, let her rip

And then make the suCker disappear?

So don't just sit there

SlaCk-jaWed, buggy-eyed

l'm here to ansWer

All your midnight prayers

You got me bona fide, Certified

You got a genie

For a Charg d'affaires

l got a poWerful urge to help you out

So What's your Wish?

l really Want to knoW

You got a list that's

Three miles long, no doubt

Well, all you got to do is rub like so

Mr, Aladdin, sir,

Have a Wish or two or three

l'm on the job, you big nabob

You ain't never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend

Like me

You ain't never had a friend like me

So what'll it be, Master?

You're gonna grant me

any three wishes l want, right?

Almost.

There are a few provisos,

a couple of quid pro quos.

Like?

Rule one. l can't kill anybody.

So don't ask.

Rule two. l can't make anybody

fall in love with anybody else.

You little punim there.

Rule three.

l can't bring people back from the dead.

lt's not a pretty picture.

l don't like doing it.

Other than that, you got it.

Provisos? You mean limitations?

On wishes?

Some all-powerful genie!

Can't even bring people

back from the dead.

l don't know. He probably can't even

get us out of this cave.

Looks like we'll have to find a way out.

Excuse me.

Are you looking at me?

Did you rub my lamp?

Did you wake me up?

Did you bring me here?

And you're walking out on me?

l don't think so.

Not right now.

You're getting your wishes, so sit down.

ln case of emergency,

the exits are here.

Anywhere. Keep your hands

and arms inside the carpet.

We're...

out of here.

Jafar, this is an outrage.

lf it weren't for all your years

of loyal service...

From now on, you're to discuss

sentencing of prisoners with me.

Before they are beheaded.

l assure you, Your Highness,

it won't happen again.

Jasmine, Jafar, now let's put

this whole messy business behind us.

Please.

My most abject and humblest

apologies to you as well, Princess.

At least some good will come

of my being forced to marry.

When l am queen,

l will have the power to get rid of you.

That's nice. All settled, then.

Now, Jasmine,

getting back to this suitor business...

Jasmine!

lf only l had gotten that lamp.

''l will have the power

to get rid of you.''

To think we gotta keep kissing up

to that chump and his chump daughter

for the rest of our lives.

No, lago. Only until she finds

a chump husband.

Then she'll have us banished.

Or beheaded.

Wait a minute.

What if you were the chump husband?

What?

You marry the princess, right?

And then you become the sultan.

Marry the shrew.

l become the sultan.

The idea has merit.

Yes, merit.

And then we drop poppa-in-law

and the little woman off a cliff.

l love the way

your foul little mind works.

Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet

for all your travel needs.

Don't stand until the rug

has come to a complete stop.

Thank you. Goodbye, now.

Goodbye, thank you.

Well, how about that,

Mr. Doubting Mustafa?

You sure showed me.

Now about my three wishes...

Dost mine ears deceive me?

Three? You are down by one, boy.

No, l never actually wished

to get out of the cave.

You did that on your own.

l feel sheepish.

All right, you bad boy.

But no more freebies.

Fair deal.

Three wishes.

l want them to be good.

What would you wish for?

Me?

No one's asked me that before.

Well, in my case...

- Forget it.

- What?

- l can't tell you.

- Come on.

Freedom.

- You're a prisoner?

- lt's part of the whole genie gig.

Phenomenal cosmic powers.

- ltty-bitty living space.

- Genie, that's terrible.

But oh, to be free.

Not to have to go, ''What do you need?''

''What do you need?''

''What do you need?''

To be my own master.

Such a thing would be greater than all

the magic and treasures in the world.

But what am l talking about?

lt's not going to happen.

- Wake up and smell the hummus.

- Why not?

The only way l get out of this

is if my master wishes me out.

So you can guess

how often that's happened.

l'll do it. l'll set you free.

Yeah, right.

l promise. After my first two wishes,

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