Alice in Wonderland Page #11

Farewell, gallant knight.

Oops.

I hope I encouraged him

a little.

This must be

the eighth square.

I'm so happy to get here.

What is this on my head?

Now how in the world

did this crown

get on my head

without me knowing it?

Oh, but this is wonderful!

I never expected

to be a queen so soon.

Now, I'll tell you

what this means,

Your Majesty.

It'll never do for you

to be rolling around

on the grass anymore.

Queens have to be

very dignified, you know.

And if I really am a queen,

I shall be able to manage it

quite well in time.

I just know it.

Please,

would you tell me

how I might...

Speak

when you're spoken to.

If everybody

obeyed that rule,

nobody would

ever say anything.

Ridiculous.

I overheard you

saying to yourself,

"If I really am a queen..."

What right have you

to call yourself

anything of the sort?

I'm sure I didn't mean to...

That's just what

I'm complaining about!

You should have meant it.

What do you suppose

is the good of a child

without meaning?

Even a joke

has some meaning.

Well,

she's in that state of mind

that she wants

to deny something,

only she doesn't

know what to deny.

A nasty, vicious temper!

Now, my dear White Queen,

let me invite you

to Alice's dinner party

this afternoon.

And I invite you.

Now, if you'll pardon me!

I didn't know I was giving

a dinner party at all.

But if there's

going to be one,

I think I ought to

invite the guests,

don't you?

We gave you the opportunity

of doing it,

but you didn't

invite anybody.

It's obvious you never

had any lessons in manners.

Manners aren't

taught in lessons.

Lessons teach addition,

subtraction

and things of that sort.

Well, then,

I have a lesson for you.

# Can you do addition?

# What is one and one

and one and one #

# And one and one

and one and one and two? #

# Can you do subtraction?

# Eight from nine and two

from eight and six from three

and one from seven, too #

# Can you do division?

# Six divided by a three

and then a two #

# Yes, you

# Can you multiply, my dear?

# Then what are three times

six and two times ten,

and then again #

# Addition

# Subtraction

# Division

# Multiplication!

# Can you do addition?

# What is one and one

and one and one #

# And one and one

and one and one and two? #

# Can you do subtraction?

# Eight from nine and two

from eight and six from three

and one from seven, too #

# Can you do division?

# Six divided by a three

and then a two #

# Yes, you!

# Can you multiply, my dear?

# Then what are three times

six and two times ten,

and then again #

# Forget your slumbers,

recall your numbers #

# Just add up the list

# Just think of pluses

and of minuses #

# It's sure

to clear your sinuses #

# We simply must insist! #

Well, Alice,

what's your answer?

I don't know.

I lost count.

Well, then. Of course,

you do know your ABC's?

Sure, I do.

So do I.

Oh, we shall have

such glorious times together

saying the alphabet

over and over.

Can you answer

useful questions?

How is bread made?

I know that.

First, you take

some flour...

But where do you

pick the flower?

It isn't picked at all,

it's ground.

Oh, fan her.

She's probably just feverish

from all this thinking.

Do you know languages?

What is French

for "fiddle-de-dee"?

I'll tell you what.

If you'll tell me

what language

"fiddle-de-dee" is,

I'll tell you

the French for it.

Queens never make bargains.

I wish queens

never asked questions.

Well, here's a question

with an answer.

Is life just

a giant game of chess?

I assure you,

the answer is yes.

Do you mean something

is moving us about?

That's for me to know

and you to find out.

# Is the ocean

as level as a pool? #

# Well, to think so

you'd have to be a fool #

# There are millions

of waves in an ocean #

# So something obviously

keeps them all in motion #

# And do you stand motionless,

my girl? #

# No, you constantly

are running in a whirl #

# But since

you've come uninvited

for this visit #

# I should think that

you'd be wondering #

# What is it?

# Should I reveal to you

the secret, my dear? #

Yes, Your Majesty,

that's what I want to hear.

# When the world

seems full of trouble

and of strife #

# What moves us through this

# Crazy game of life?

# Emotions

# Emotions

# They're much stronger

# than magical potions

# They make us behave

# as we do

# You may like it or not

# But it's true

# Emotions

# Emotions

# When we smile or we frown

# That is why

# Some are good

# Some are bad

# Some are sweet

# Some are sad

# Can't escape them

# However we try

# We've emotions, my dear

# Till we

# die #

Oh, poor thing.

She's tired.

Smooth her hair,

lend her your nightcap,

and sing her

a soothing lullaby.

I haven't got

a nightcap with me

and I don't know

any soothing lullabies.

But if you'd only tell me

how I might go home,

I'd be certain to get you

anything you need.

I promise you I would,

I truly would.

Oh, I must do it myself.

# Hush-a-bye, lady

# In Alice's lap

# Till the feast's ready

# We've time for a nap

# When the feast's over

# We'll go to the ball

# Red Queen

# And White Queen

# And Alice

# And

# All #

Mother, Father,

will I ever see you again?

# To the Looking Glass world

It was Alice that said #

# I've a scepter in hand

I've a crown on my head #

# Let the Looking

Glass creatures,

whatever they be #

# Come and dine

# With the Red Queen,

the White Queen and me #

# Then fill up the glasses

as quick as you can #

# And sprinkle the table

with buttons and bran #

# Put cats in the coffee,

and mice in the tea #

# Welcome Queen Alice

with thirty times three #

# Oh, Looking Glass creatures

I pray, draw near #

# 'Tis an honor to see me,

a favor to hear #

# 'Tis a privilege high

to have dinner and tea #

# With the Red Queen,

the White Queen and me! #

# Then fill up all the glasses

with treacle and ink #

# Or anything else

that is pleasant to drink #

# Mix sand with the cider

and wool with the wine #

# And welcome Queen Alice

# With ninety times nine

# Then fill up all the glasses

with treacle and ink #

# Or anything else

that is pleasant to drink #

# Mix sand with the cider

and wool with the wine #

# And welcome Queen Alice

# With ninety times nine #

Welcome,

Queen Alice!

Thank you.

We drink to your health.

Good idea.

To Queen Alice's health!

Hear, hear!

Hear, hear!

You ought to return

your appreciation

in a neat speech.

We're only teaching you

the very basics

of proper behavior.

Oh, yes, dear.

If you were ever

invited to tea anywhere,

you'll need to know

these little pleasantries.

It's proper that

you should know

about proper behavior.

I... I thank you all.

But please, everyone,

show me how I go home.

I don't want to be here

anymore.

All I want to do

is to go home.

I've never heard

such a thing in my life!

What nerve!

Ingrate! Did you hear...

Well, I...

Ridiculous!

A present's

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