Alice in Wonderland Page #10

messenger.

Listen.

I love my love with an "H"

because he is happy.

I hate him with an "H"

because he is hideous.

I fed him with... with...

With ham sandwiches and hay.

His name is Haigha

and he lives...

He lives on the hill.

My other messenger's

called Hatter.

I must have two,

you know, to come and go.

One to come and one to go.

Oh, yes.

I beg your pardon?

It isn't respectable to beg.

Your Majesty.

You frightened me!

I feel faint.

Give me a ham sandwich.

Nothing but hay left now.

Well, hay then.

Okay.

There's nothing

like eating hay

when you feel faint.

I think throwing cold water

over you would be better.

I didn't say

there was nothing better,

I said there was

nothing like it.

Who did you pass

on the road?

I'll whisper it.

They're at it again!

Do you call that a whisper?

Who's at it again?

Why, the Lion

and the Unicorn,

of course.

Let's run and see them.

Oh, no, please.

I really must be

getting on my way.

# The Lion

and the Unicorn were fighting

for the crown #

# The Lion beat the Unicorn

all around the town #

But you don't understand,

I really must be going home.

# La, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la #

# The Lion

and the Unicorn

were fighting for the crown #

# The Lion beat the Unicorn

all around the town #

Play!

# Some gave them white bread

and some gave them brown #

# And some gave them plum cake

and drummed them out of town #

# And drummed them out of town

And drummed them out of town #

# And drummed them out of

# Town

# The Lion and the Unicorn

# The Lion and the Unicorn

# The Lion and the Unicorn

# The Lion and the Unicorn

# Were fighting for the

# Crown! #

Does the one that wins

always get the crown?

Dear me,

no, what an idea.

Oh, my!

All right, all right!

Ten minutes allowed

for refreshments!

I don't think they're gonna

fight anymore today.

I should hope not.

Go order the drums

to begin.

You know, boom-boom, boom.

I had the best

of it this time!

You shouldn't

have run him through

with your horn.

It didn't hurt him.

What is this?

A child.

We only found it today.

It's as large as life

and twice as natural.

A child?

But I... I... I always thought

that children were

fabulous monsters.

Is... Is it alive?

Oh, yes.

It can even talk.

This is incredible.

Talk, child.

Well,

do you know I always thought

unicorns were

fabulous monsters, too?

Though I never saw

one alive before.

Well, now that

we have seen one another,

if you'll believe in me,

I'll believe in you.

Is it a bargain?

Yes, if you like.

That'd be rather pleasant.

Are you animal,

vegetable,

or mineral?

You dum-dum!

I already told you

she's a fabulous monster!

Then hand round the cake,

monster.

Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

May I please have the cake?

Be careful.

If you drop it,

the lion will eat you.

I wouldn't do that.

Yet!

Please don't say that.

You're making me nervous.

You'd better hurry.

He's very short-tempered.

Don't do what

he says, monster.

Don't listen to him.

Cut the cake!

And I say "Don't!"

And I say "Do!"

What a fight

we might have

for the crown now, sir!

Oh, and I will

surely win.

Oh, I don't think so.

Why, I'll beat you

all around the town,

you cluck chicken!

All around the town, eh?

Ha! Well,

that's a good long way.

Will you go by

the old bridge

or by the marketplace?

The best view

is by the old bridge.

Cut the cake.

The monster's

having an awful time

trying to cut that cake.

I've cut it twice,

but it just seems

to go back together again.

You don't know how to serve

Looking Glass cake?

Hand it round first,

then cut it afterwards!

Now cut the cake!

This isn't fair.

The monster has given

the lion twice as much as me.

Well, she's kept none

for herself, anyhow.

Do you like

plum cake, monster?

Well...

What is that sound?

Oh!

What is that sound?

What is it?

I don't understand!

What is it?

If that noise doesn't

drum everybody out of town,

nothing ever will.

Ahoy! Ahoy!

Wow.

Check.

You're my prisoner.

Ahoy! Hey! Hey!

Check.

She's my prisoner,

you know.

Yes, but then I came

and rescued her.

Well, then we must

fight for her.

You will observe

the rules of battle,

of course.

I always do.

There are so many fights

in Looking Glass Land.

Check.

Check.

It was a glorious victory,

wasn't it?

I don't know.

I don't wanna be

anybody's prisoner.

I just know

I must become a queen

if I'm ever

to get home again.

And you will.

When you have

crossed the next brook,

you will definitely

be a queen.

I will see you safe

to the end of the wood.

Then I must go back,

you know.

Yes, that is the end

of my move.

Thank you very much.

Come.

I'll get you on your way.

All right.

You can go ahead,

lead me.

All right.

Come on. Come on.

All right,

to the end of the wood.

I hope you've got your hair

well fastened on.

Only in the usual way.

Oh, that's not good enough.

No, you see, the wind

is so very strong here.

It's as strong as,

uh, uh, soup.

But I have a plan

for keeping your hair

from falling off.

Well, I should like to

hear it very much.

Well, you see,

the reason hair falls off

is because it hangs down.

Things never fall upwards,

you know.

This is a plan

of my own invention.

You might try it

if you like.

First, you take

an upright stick.

Oh, there's one.

I hope no bones

are broken.

None to speak of.

The great art of riding,

as I was saying,

is to keep your balance.

How can you keep on talking

head downward?

What does it matter

where my body happens to be?

My mind goes on

working all the same.

In fact,

the more head downwards I am,

the more I keep

inventing new things.

Like this song I am

about to sing to you.

Is it long?

Because you said

you would see me

to the end of the wood.

That I shall.

I take your hand.

I understand.

And we are dancing.

Without a word,

it seems absurd.

# But we are dancing

# We didn't need a cue

# Yet with a girl like you

# It seems the thing to do

# Don't you agree?

Yes, I do.

# I hear the strings

My poor heart sings #

# And we are dancing

# We share a smile,

and for a while #

# We two are dancing

# If ever time

# Should bring another year

# Another spring

# They'll be compared

# To what I've shared

# With you

# I hear the strings

My poor heart sings #

# And we are dancing

# We share a smile,

and for a while #

# We two are dancing

# If ever time should bring

# Another year

# Another spring

# They'll be compared

# To what I've shared

# With you #

Oh!

Now, you've only

a few yards to go.

Down the hill

and over the brook,

and then you will be a queen.

Then I just know

I'll be home,

I just know it.

But you will stay

to see me off first,

won't you? I shan't be long.

And if you simply

wave your handkerchief,

it will encourage me

very much.

All the finest damsels

do that sort of thing.

Of course I'll wait.

And thank you very much

for saving me.

Farewell, fair maiden.

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