Alice in Wonderland Page #2

Yeah, well,

at any rate,

it has no business there.

You... You go

and take it away.

Oh, I don't like this at all,

Your Honor.

I... I don't like it at all.

Bill! Bill!

Come out here and help!

And bring the ladder!

Quick, Bill!

I got it.

Hurry up!

I got it.

What are you doing?

Come on, bring it here.

Here,

tell him what to do.

Get up on the roof.

Oh, my goodness.

Hurry, Bill.

Do you think

the roof will hold him?

I hope so!

Bill!

Oh, my goodness.

Bill!

Bill, go down the chimney!

That's a good idea,

Your Honor.

Down the chimney, Billy!

Down the chimney!

Bill's got to go down

the chimney, does he?

I think I can

take care of that.

Watch your step, Bill!

Down the chimney, Bill.

Hurry up. Hurry up.

That's for Bill.

There goes Bill.

Goodbye, Bill!

I wonder what

they're gonna do next.

You'd better

not do that again.

They're such little cakes.

If I eat one,

they're sure to make

some change in my size.

And since it can't possibly

make me grow larger.

Mary Ann!

Mary Ann! Come back here!

Come back here,

Mary Ann! You hear me?

Come back here!

Mary Ann! Stop running!

Come back!

Who are you?

I hardly know, sir.

I knew who I was

when I got up this morning,

but I keep changing sizes.

And I'm afraid

I'll never find

my way home again.

Explain yourself.

I can't, sir.

Because I'm not myself,

you see?

No, I don't see.

Well, being so many sizes

in one day

is very confusing

to a little girl.

No, it isn't.

Well, perhaps

you haven't found it so yet.

But when you have to

turn into a chrysalis

and then a butterfly,

you'll feel a little bit queer

then, won't you?

Not a bit.

Well, it would feel

very queer to me.

You? Who are you?

Well, I think

you ought to tell me

who you are first.

Why?

Well, I don't know exactly.

Besides, I think

you're very rude.

Goodbye!

Wait! Wait!

I've got something

very important to say to you.

What?

Keep your temper.

Is that all

you have to say to me?

Well, no.

I was also curious

about your earlier remark.

So you think

you've changed, do you?

I definitely have.

In fact,

I think I've actually

grown up quite a bit.

But I can't quite remember.

Why not?

Well, there are

a lot of things.

Oh, like

when I tried to recite

one of my favorite poems,

it came out all wrong.

Well, try You Are Old,

Father William,

and see

how that comes out.

Do you know that poem?

Of course.

Let me see. It starts...

"You...

"You..."

Wait, let me help you.

# "You are old,

Father William,"

the young man said #

# "And your hair

has become very white #

# "And yet you incessantly

stand on your head #

# "Do you think,

at your age, it is right?" #

# "In my youth,"

Father William

replied to his son #

# "I feared

it might injure the brain #

# "But now that

I'm perfectly sure

I have none #

# "Why, I do it again

and again" #

# "You are old,"

said the youth #

# "As I mentioned before,

and have grown

most uncommonly fat #

# "Yet you turned

a back-somersault

in at the door #

# "Pray,

what is the reason

for that?" #

# "You are old,"

said the youth #

# "And your jaws are too weak

for anything

tougher than suet #

# "Yet you finished the goose

with the bones and the beak #

# "Pray,

how did you manage

to do it?" #

# "You are old,"

said the youth #

# "One would hardly suppose

that your eye

was as steady as ever #

# "Yet you balanced

an eel on the end

of your nose #

# "What made you

so awfully clever?" #

# "You have asked me

three questions

Now, that is enough" #

# Said his father,

"Don't give yourself airs! #

# "Do you think I can listen

all day to such stuff? #

# "Be off, boy!

# "Or I'll kick you

downstairs #

# "Or I'll kick you

downstairs #

# "Or I'll kick you

downstairs #

# "Or I'll kick you

# "Or I'll kick you

downstairs" #

That was excellent.

Now, what size do you

want to be, little girl?

Well, I should like to be

a little larger, sir.

This is such

a wretched height to be,

you know.

Oh? It happens to be

a very good height indeed,

since it also happens

to be exactly my height.

I'm terribly sorry.

I didn't mean it

as an insult.

Mr. Caterpillar,

where are you?

Why, he's disappeared.

He just

absolutely disappeared.

Surely someone here

can tell me

the way to go home.

It's for the Duchess.

It's an invitation

from the Queen

to play croquet.

There's no use in ringing,

because I'm on the same side

of the gate as you are.

Then how am I

supposed to get in?

Well, I don't know

about you,

but as for me,

I'm going to sit here

until tomorrow

or the next day, maybe.

Well, I'm not.

Oh, there's certainly

too much pepper in that soup.

Not in my soup.

Oh, no.

Will you please be careful?

If everybody minded

their own business,

this world would go around

a lot faster than it does.

Which would not

be an advantage,

if you ask me.

I mean, you see,

the Earth takes 24 hours

to turn around its axis.

Speaking of axes,

chop off her nose.

You are acting

very hateful to that baby.

Am I?

Well, my dear.

# There's something

to say for hatred #

# For rudeness

and for spite #

# Oh, no, my friend,

we can't pretend #

# That everything's

sweetness and light #

# There's something

to say for trouble #

# For nastiness

and gloom #

# Just try to be cheerful

# And you'll get an earful

of your impending doom #

# This world

is not a paradise #

# lf, indeed, ooh, ooh,

it ever was #

# It's a vale of tears

and so, my dears #

# Throw out the chaff?

Don't make me laugh #

# There's something

to say for misery #

# For suffering

and pain #

# Down at the bank,

now, let's be frank #

# They only care for gain

# There's something to say

for frowning #

# Why must we always smile?

# Forget all your dreams,

resort to schemes #

# And in just a little while

# The best-laid plans

of mice and men #

# Will all come

crashing down again #

# And we'll all

despise each other #

# In the grandest style #

Is the baby all right?

You wanna hold him

for a while?

Here.

I have to get ready.

I'm playing croquet

with the Queen.

If I don't take

this baby away with me,

they're sure to kill it.

Now, look, little baby,

if you're going

to turn into a pig,

then I'll have nothing more

to do with you.

Oh, well,

if it had grown up,

it would have made

a dreadfully ugly child.

But maybe

a rather handsome pig,

I suppose.

Excuse me, Cheshire Cat.

Would you tell me please

which way I ought

to go from here?

That depends a good deal

on where you wanna get to.

Home.

I need to get home.

I know my mother's

already begun to miss me.

Oh, and my cat, Dinah,

must be very hungry.

Home?

Home, is it?

Well, you listen closely,

little girl.

# There's no way home

# from this strange land

# Don't even try

to understand #

# You're lost in time

# without a trace

# Resign yourself

to your disgrace #

# Somehow you've strayed

# and lost your way

# And now there'll be

# No time to play

# No time for joy

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