Alice in Wonderland Page #3

# No time for friends

# Not even time

# to make amends

# You are too naive

# if you do believe

# Life is innocent laughter

and fun #

# There are things to fear

# So you see, my dear

# Your adventures

# have only begun

# The world's immense

# but sad to say

# It makes no sense

# in any way

# So what care I

# if you should cry?

# There's no way

# home #

I think you're a mean,

old cat.

There must be a way home

and I'll find it!

Where are you going?

That way.

Maybe I'll meet someone

kind enough to help me.

Oh.

Well, in that direction,

there's a Hatter,

and in that direction,

there's a March Hare.

Visit either you like.

They're both mad.

But I don't wanna

visit mad people.

Well, you can't help that.

We're all mad here.

I mean, I'm mad.

You're mad. We're all mad.

Meow, baby.

Well, a head without a cat

is the most curious thing

I've ever seen

in my whole life.

Oh, goody, I'm just in time

for a tea party.

May I introduce myself?

No, you may not.

But aren't introductions

proper at a tea party?

My dear child,

if you want an introduction,

go and get yourself

an orchestra.

They'll give you a good

four-bar introduction.

Or probably

an eight-bar introduction.

I just wanted to

give you my name.

Why, have you

finished with it?

Did you hear that,

Mr. Hare?

She wants to

give us her name.

That is ridiculous.

Awfully.

We already

have names.

We certainly

don't need hers.

Yes.

May I sit down?

No room! No room!

No room!

No room! No room!

There's plenty of room!

There are at least

nine empty chairs.

Of course there are.

We didn't say

there aren't any chairs.

We said

there wasn't any room.

Yeah, and there

certainly isn't, you know.

We are here

in the great outdoors.

Of course!

And there are certainly

no rooms here.

Right.

There are a few

in the house.

Would you like some wine?

I don't think

I should drink wine.

I'm too young.

Good. There isn't

any anyway.

Then it wasn't

very nice of you to offer it.

And it wasn't

very nice of you

to sit down

without being invited!

I didn't know

it was your table!

It's set for more than three.

You know,

your hair wants cutting.

You should learn

not to make personal remarks.

It's very rude.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Why is a raven

like a writing desk?

I give up. Why is a raven

like a writing desk?

I haven't

the vaguest idea.

Then why did you

ask the question?

Because I was hoping

for an intelligent answer!

If I'd known the answer,

I wouldn't have

asked the question, would I?

Oh, you're hopeless.

Incidentally, how did you

become a March Hare?

Well, actually,

I started out

being a January Hare,

and then I worked

my way up.

No, I didn't mean that.

Well, then you should say

what you mean!

Quite!

I do.

At least, I mean what I say

and that's the same thing.

It isn't

the same thing at all.

I mean,

you might just as well say

"I see what I eat,"

is the same as

"I, I eat what I see."

I give up.

Fresh cup. Move down.

Whoop-de-doo.

Who's the stuffed animal?

I am not

a stuffed animal.

Really?

Not since dinner

last night.

I am a dormouse.

What do you mean,

"door mouse"?

You look like

a plain mouse to me.

And you look like

a plain little girl to me.

And if you think

that there's only

one kind of a mouse,

you have another

"think" coming.

Quite!

Do you wanna

take it right now?

Take what right now?

Your other "think."

You have one coming,

you know.

No, I... I'm not

a church mouse...

No.

...because I'm

too wealthy.

Of course!

I'm not a field mouse,

and I'm not a...

Well, I'm...

By the way,

what time is it?

Time? Time?

The time now is,

let me see.

The time is precisely 7:27.

That can't possibly

be right.

It seems to me it was 7:27

about two hours ago.

Young lady,

are you contradicting me?

I am known

as a stickler for accuracy.

A stickler? You are?

Yes, a stickler.

When people round here

want accuracy,

they call me in

and I stickle.

That's what sticklers

are supposed to do,

isn't that right?

But are you sure

your watch is running?

Oh, of course

it isn't running.

It's sitting here

quite quietly in my hand.

Besides, it could hardly run,

it has no moving parts.

No moving parts?

Correct.

But it's absolutely

correct twice a day.

Enough of this folderol!

Enough of this persiflage.

Enough of this badinage.

Enough of this

tomfoolery.

Enough of this banter.

Enough of this

saying "enough."

Oh, every tea party

should have a little music.

Of course.

Young lady,

would you like

to sing with us?

That might be very nice.

But what shall we sing?

Do you know

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?

Yes, I do.

# Twinkle, twinkle,

little star #

# How I wonder

what you are #

No, no, no, no.

That won't do at all.

I prefer,

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,

how I wonder what you're at."

How about,

# Twinkle, twinkle,

little skunk #

# How I wonder

if you're drunk #

"Twinkle, twinkle,

little ants.

"You do look strange

without your pants."

I must admit,

you three do make me laugh.

Now, that's a very good idea

for a song.

# Laugh at every

single thing we do #

# Just laugh

# And we shall all

perform for you #

# Just smile

and tensions will unwind #

# And you'll find

that your mind #

# Takes a kinder view

# Laugh

# yes, even when your skies

are gray #

# Just laugh

# And troubles

seem to float away #

# You'll find

it's very true, my dears #

# Through the years

that your tears #

# And your fears will fly

# Oh, there are times

when crying #

# Seems the thing to do

# But keep on trying

# Till your dreams

come true #

# Your heart

# I'm sure knows

what is best for you #

# So laugh, little girl

# Just laugh #

Such a lovely song.

Thank you,

I, I wrote it myself.

Now, how would you

like to tell us a story?

I'm afraid

I don't know one.

Then the Dormouse shall.

The Dormouse will.

Wake up!

Come on!

Come on. Come along.

Wake up!

La, la, la, wake up!

You've got to tell a story!

Wake up!

Tell a story.

Dormouse!

You're going to tell

a story for the little...

Wake up. Dormouse,

we want to hear a story.

You're going to love it.

Come on.

Time to wake up now.

Come on. Wake up.

Wake up. Come on, now.

Tell us a story!

Time to make a story.

Story.

Going to tell a story.

We need to tell a story.

Wake up.

Stop it! Stop it!

It doesn't matter

if anyone tells us

a story or not.

Well, that just shows you

how much you know. Hmm.

Yeah. At teatime,

everyone should tell a story.

Well, now that he is awake,

a story would be nice.

Once upon a time, there were

three little sisters

named Elsie, Lacie and Tillie

and they lived

at the bottom of a well.

But what did they live on?

They lived on treacle.

Molasses to you.

But why did they live

at the bottom of a well?

It was a treacle well.

There's no such thing.

Oh. Oh!

If you can't

keep a civil tongue,

why don't you finish

the story yourself?

No, please, go on.

Well,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes