Alice in Wonderland Page #4

these three little sisters,

they were learning

how to draw, you know.

And what did they draw?

Treacle!

I want a fresh cup.

Move down the table!

Here we go round

the table!

Here we go round

the table!

Here we go round

the table!

But I don't understand.

Where did they

draw the treacle from?

Well, if you can get water

from a water well,

I suppose you can get treacle

from a treacle well,

eh, stupid?

Hello, little fawn.

Don't be afraid,

I won't hurt you.

I'm so happy to find you.

You're the only normal person

I've met here.

# Why do people act

as if they're crazy? #

# Why do they behave

the way they do? #

# Don't they understand

# that the things

I've planned #

# Are dreams

that I demand #

# come true?

# Why can't they be kind

# to one another

# And see the beauty of

# the golden rule?

# Will there come a spring

# when we'll know

how to sing #

# that there are

better things to do? #

# Will there come a day

# we'll all know

how to say #

# I love you?

# I love

# you #

I wish I didn't have to go,

but I really must,

so you can find your mother

and I can find mine.

That's very curious.

However,

everything's curious today.

Excuse me, sirs.

But would you

tell me, please,

why you're painting

those roses?

Why, the fact is...

You see, miss,

this here ought to have

been a red rose bush,

and we put a white one in

by mistake.

Yes, and if the Queen

was to find out,

she'd cut our heads off,

you know.

The Queen! The Queen!

Here comes the Queen!

Who is this?

Who is what?

Oh!

Her. I don't know.

Idiot.

What is your name, child?

My name is Alice,

may it please Your Majesty.

We'll see about that.

And who are these creatures?

How should I know?

It's no business of mine.

Off with her head.

Oh, come now, now, dear,

be calm...

Did you hear me?

Off with her head!

Nonsense!

Nonsense?

Just for that,

off with her head

in small increments.

Oh, no, no.

Come now, dear.

She's only a child.

Did you think I was

under the impression

she was an alligator

or a rutabaga?

Of course she's a child,

and a remarkably rude one.

And if there's one thing

I cannot stand,

it's insubordination

and impertinence.

That's two things,

Your Majesty.

What? Laughing

at such effrontery!

You stop it.

Stop it right now!

Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh!

Oh, off with their heads, too!

My dear, you must not

excite yourself, really.

# When there are people

who annoy you #

# Or seem determined

to destroy you #

# There's just one thing

that must be done #

# Off with their heads!

Oh, that's rather drastic,

isn't it, dear?

# When there are people

who deceive you #

# Or have the nerve

to not believe you #

# There's one response

that's rather fun #

# Off with their heads!

What about

the population?

# Firm

# You must be absolutely firm

when required #

I'm always firm,

dear, always.

# Squirm

# That's what they'll do

when they perceive

they've been fired #

# Or worse

# Never mind negotiation

# You will find

to rule your nation #

# All you need

to keep your slaves

under their beds #

# Is just to flounce about

and shout #

# Off with their heads!

You make it all

sound so simple.

It is simple, my dear.

They're all simple-minded.

Off with their heads.

# Firm

Yes, of course, dear.

# You must be absolutely firm

when required #

I'm going to try

to be firm about it.

Yes, darling.

# Squirm

# That's what they'll do

when they perceive

they've been fired #

Don't you...

# Or worse

# Never mind negotiation

# You will find

to rule your nation #

# All you need

to keep your slaves

under their beds #

# Is just to flounce about

and shout #

# Off with their heads! #

I suppose you're right,

as usual.

I am always right,

my dear.

It is simply...

Didn't I tell you this morning

that heads would roll?

Yes, indeed,

you did, dear.

But, you know,

it's an extraordinary thing.

Heads do not roll

as they used to.

Nowadays,

they just clump down

on the ground and stay there.

Ah!

There's that

impertinent child.

Alice, would you

come here a minute, dear?

Can you play croquet?

Why, yes, Your Majesty.

Although,

I shouldn't be able to

if I had no head.

If you think

such conditions are going

to make me change my mind,

you are quite mistaken.

Your head is as good as gone.

But since you still have it,

we might as well put it

to some sensible use.

Come along to the game.

Oh, yes.

It's a...

It's a very fine day.

The Queen seems

to be enjoying it.

She loves

to chop off heads.

Oh, well, the Queen

is very excitable.

She even ordered

the execution

of a very dear friend,

the Duchess.

What for?

Did you say,

"What a pity?"

No, I didn't.

I said, "What for?"

Oh, it was

a dreadful offense.

She boxed

the Queen's ears.

Oh, don't. Do be quiet.

The Queen will hear you.

See, what happened, you see,

was that the Duchess

came rather late

and the Queen

said to her...

What is that?

Who is doing all that

gibbering and jabbering

back there?

Oh. Oh, dear.

Meaning no disrespect,

Your Majesty.

"Gibbering and jabbering,"

you say?

Well, I... I... I was gibbering

and the... and the young lady

was jabbering.

Well, stop it!

And take your places,

all of you,

for a game of croquet.

Well, tell me, Alice,

my dear,

are you a skillful

croquet player?

Well, I do beat my sister,

at least sometimes.

Who's the best player here?

I really don't know.

Her Majesty

always manages to win.

And if anyone

ever gets close,

it's always the same thing.

"Off with their heads!"

Excuse me, Your Majesty.

I don't see any mallets.

What are we gonna use

for mallets?

These flamingoes, of course.

Of course. Of course!

And what are we to use

for croquet balls?

Guinea pigs.

He's as keen as mustard.

What are we to use

for wickets?

We do have to hit the ball

through something, don't we?

Wickets,

assume your positions.

Oh, you oaf,

you move much too slowly.

Off with his head!

It's going to be

very difficult, dear,

in that position.

They're dreadfully fond of

beheading people here,

wouldn't you say?

The great wonder is

there's anyone left here

with a head at all.

You, impertinent child,

wipe that smile

off your face.

Is that smile quite gone?

It's left

the young lady's face.

But it seems to have

reappeared elsewhere.

It's the Cheshire Cat.

Oh, hello, Cheshire Cat.

Hello. How do you

like the Queen?

Not at all.

I don't like the idea

of losing my head. Would you?

I could hardly afford that.

I say, what is that thing?

It's a friend of mine,

a Cheshire Cat.

Allow me

to introduce you.

I'd rather not,

if you don't mind.

My dear, may I introduce

another of your subjects?

No, you may not.

Ugh.

Off with his head,

whoever or whatever it is,

and off with his tail, too.

There's more than one way

to skin a cat, you know.

I'm afraid

he hasn't got a tail.

You can't behead something

that has no body.

Well, you can try.

And exactly

who is the owner

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