Alice in Wonderland Page #6

and what with the bread

and butter getting thinner

and the twinkling of the tea.

The twinkling of the what?

It began with the tea.

Well, of course,

twinkling begins with a "T."

Everybody knows that.

Do you think I'm a dunce?

Your Honor, I'm a poor man,

and most things

began to twinkle after that.

Only the March Hare said...

I didn't.

You did.

I didn't.

You did!

I didn't.

You did!

# Why deny it?

Be a good sport #

# I'll explain it

to all of the court #

# I offered you tea

and you drank a quart #

# I didn't, I didn't

# You did!

# I didn't, I didn't!

# You did! #

He denies it. Strike it out.

Your Majesty,

I'm a poor man.

You're a very poor speaker,

too.

If that's all

you know about the case,

you may stand down.

Stand down, Your Majesty?

But I can

hardly get any lower.

I'm on the floor as it is.

Well, then, simply go!

Of course.

And just

take his head off outside.

Where he goes, I go.

Call the next witness.

Call the next witness!

Call the next witness!

Give your evidence.

No, I won't.

Your Majesty, you must

cross-examine the witness.

Must I?

Of course you must.

Why must I?

Because I say so.

Oh, of course.

That's different. Yes, yes.

What are tarts made of?

What?

Tarts.

What is a tart made of?

Well, tart starts with a "T."

Then you add an "A,"

then you add an "R,"

then you add...

No! What are the ingredients?

Well, pepper.

Lots of pepper!

They most certainly

are not!

They are made of treacle!

Pepper! Pepper!

Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!

Treacle! Treacle! Treacle!

Treacle! Treacle!

Pepper!

You are an idiot,

it's pepper!

Treacle! Treacle!

Off with his head!

And after that,

pinch off his whiskers.

And off with her head, too!

Treacle. Treacle. Treacle.

Pepper.

Thank you for taking over

the cross-examination,

my dear.

It was giving me

rather a headache.

Well, if these examinations

are really supposed

to be cross,

I am much better

at that sort of thing

than you are.

How true. How true.

Have we a verdict?

You haven't got

any evidence yet.

Silence!

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

You're growing, young lady.

But I didn't

eat a piece of mushroom

or drink anything.

There's no doubt about it.

You're growing up.

Can you...

Can you hear me

up there?

Alice,

you're the next witness.

I can hear you.

She's a monster.

The Queen should chop her

down to size right now.

What do you know

about this business?

Nothing.

Nothing whatever?

Nothing whatever.

Oh, that's very important.

How could it

possibly be important?

Unimportant,

Your Majesty means,

of course.

Unimportant,

I meant, of course.

Rule 42.

All persons over a mile high

are to leave the court.

I'm not a mile high.

Yes, you are.

I most certainly am not!

Nearly two miles high.

I don't mean to be rude,

Your Highness,

but you really don't know

what you're talking about.

Besides,

it's not a regular rule.

You invented it just now.

Young lady,

that is the oldest rule

in the book.

Then it ought

to be number one.

Give me a verdict.

Give me a verdict!

But there's more

evidence to come yet.

Please, Your Majesty.

A very important envelope

has just been found.

Why don't you just

let the poor prisoner go?

You can see he's a nice man.

What's in the envelope?

Your Majesty,

a set of verses.

Your Majesty, please.

I didn't write them.

The Knave didn't sign them.

In fact, nobody signed them.

That proves his guilt.

Off with his head.

Off with his head.

It doesn't prove anything!

And you really

ought to stop yelling

"Off with everybody's head."

It's a terrible habit

you have.

Silence! Silence!

Just set the prisoner free

and let him go home.

His family probably

misses him very much.

And one of the worst feelings

in the whole world

is to be homesick.

I ought to know.

Give me a verdict.

Give me a verdict!

How can they give a verdict

when there isn't

a bit of meaning

in this whole trial?

Oh, well,

if there's no meaning,

that saves us

a world of trouble.

We don't have to try

and find any.

Sentence first,

verdict after.

Are you crazy?

You can't have

the sentence first.

Hold your tongue.

I will not hold my tongue!

Hold yours!

Ooh! Off with her head!

Off with her head!

Get her. Grab her.

Grab her.

Off with her head!

Off with her head!

Off with her head!

Off with her head!

I'm not afraid of you.

You're nothing

but a pack of cards!

Ouch! Stop it! Stop it!

You wicked little thing!

After her!

Faster!

Faster! Get her! Catch her!

Get her!

Mother, Father, I'm back!

Mother? Father? Anybody?

Dinah, I'm home! I'm home!

What are you doing

on that side of the mirror?

Mother! Father!

I'm here! Look!

I'm here! I'm here!

On the other side

of the mirror!

Mother! Father!

Help me, I'm here!

Mother! Father! I'm here!

On the other side

of the mirror.

"Jabberwocky."

"Twas brillig,

and the slithy toves

"Did gyre and gimble

in the wabe

"All mimsy

were the borogoves

"And the mome raths outgrabe

"Beware the Jabberwock,

my son!

The jaws that bite

"the claws that catch!

"Beware the Jubjub bird,

and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

I can just tell

this is supposed

to be a scary poem.

It's a good thing

I'm grown up

or I probably would be

a little frightened.

Thunder doesn't frighten me.

And I'm not

the least bit afraid.

Please don't hurt me. Please!

I'm terribly sorry.

I really didn't mean

to knock you all over.

Hello? Hello?

Are you all right,

my dear?

I think so.

Oh, look at me.

My dress is a mess.

Hello?

And I just had it made.

I really don't think

they can hear me.

Don't fret,

my dear, I'll see to

a new one at once.

Hello?

And they

can't see me either.

My baby!

My precious lily!

My imperial child!

Imperial fiddlesticks.

I think my nose

is out of whack.

So is my sacroiliac.

Baby!

Oh, my baby. My baby.

Yeah, my baby.

Oh.

Mind the tornado.

What tornado?

The one that

practically blew me up.

Be careful. There's really

a very strong wind.

It's gonna take you hours

to get on that table

if I don't help you.

Please don't make such faces.

You're making me

laugh so hard,

I can hardly hold you.

Well, I warned you

about the tornado.

I've turned cold

to the very end

of my whiskers.

You don't

have any whiskers.

The horror of what

just happened to me

I shall never, never forget.

Oh, my baby.

Hello again. Hello?

If they can't see me

or hear me,

then they certainly won't

be able to tell me anything

about that terrible monster.

I can tell you

about your monster.

You can?

I'd be ever so grateful.

And you can see me

and hear me?

Of course.

What happened

to that monster?

Not that I'd want

to meet him again.

Nothing happened to him.

That monster was a thing

you created

in your own mind.

My mind most certainly

did not create

anything like that.

I was simply reading

a silly book.

I...

Your fears

gave birth to it.

And until you overcome

those fears, little girl...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes