Alien Trespass Page #2

passed right over our heads.

It was unreal.

- Dick, if my father finds out

we went to the point,

he'll go ape.

- Don't sweat it, queenie,

my lips are zipped.

So what do you think it was,

Dickie?

- Well, we couldn't tell.

It was-it was huge

and all covered with flames.

- Hey, Vern's in there.

Maybe the egg sucker

knows something.

Let's go see.

- Yeah.

- Thank you very much.

- You're welcome.

- I'm gonna call in, Vern.

- Hey, Vern, did you hear about

that big crash up on the butte?

- It's Officer Watson to you,

cockroach.

- You're the police.

You're supposed to protect us.

What if it's

a secret commie rocket?

- Shouldn't you punks

be in school?

- Vern, I just called in.

Something crashed

into the butte last night,

and the chief wants us

to check it out.

- Anybody hurt?

- That's what we're supposed

to find out.

- Come on, let's go.

- Whatever you say, Chief.

You rodents stay out of trouble.

- Man, what a jerk that guy is.

- Cool it, Dickie.

It's his job to suck eggs.

So, cats, what are we

gonna do about it?

- Do about what?

- The crash, the crash.

We got to get up there.

- Sorry, Code, can't.

Freddy's Ford just got

one of them new Edsels in.

- Richard, this is

the biggest thing ever

to hit this nowhere zilch town,

and you can't?

- But it-it's only gonna be

there from 10:
00-

- Dickie,

Edsels will be around forever.

This won't.

Come on, man, just up there

and back, real quick.

I mean, what could

possibly happen?

- Well, if you want to go

that bad to look that pitiful,

then okay.

- Penny, you are the queen.

- See anything?

- Nothing but rocks.

- Anything?

- More rocks close up.

- A plane crash

might still be burning, right?

- Yeah, probably.

- So would one of them rockets.

- You got me.

- Maybe it is a rocket, Vern,

from that test range

over in Nevada.

They're putting atomic bombs

on top of rockets now.

Wouldn't want to get near

one of those things.

All that radiation.

No, sir.

- Radiation?

- Yeah, I read about it.

It's a nasty way to go.

First you get real sick,

start puking up your guts,

and then blood.

Then you get hives

all over your body.

It's gross.

Little boils.

- That's enough, Barnes.

- Well, that's not all, Vern.

You know, your hair starts

to fall out.

You start bleeding

out of your nose and mouth.

Your skin gets all cracked and-

- Barnes.

- Then you die, Vern.

- Man, oh, man.

- Uh-oh.

- Back up behind those trees.

- Okay.

Cody, they're gonna see us.

- No, they won't.

- Let's just go home.

- Penny.

- You chickens go

if you want to.

- I'm going up there.

- Come on, Dickie.

This could be very, very cool.

- Uh, we'll just

wait for you here.

All right, Clyde.

- Dick, I'm scared.

- What's wrong, Penny?

- I don't know what it is.

- Come here, baby.

Penny, there's really nothing

to be scared of.

Look, we're all alone.

- No, we're not.

- Whoa, hold it right there,

Officer Barnes.

- Vern?

- You see that glow?

That's a meteor for sure.

Got that?

That's how meteors glow.

There's no crash;

there's no bodies.

Case closed.

Let's get the heck out of here.

- Uh, Vern, don't you

want to check it out?

- No, I do not.

Let's go.

That's an order.

- Dick.

I saw something in the trees

over there.

- What?

I don't see anything.

- Dick, let's just go.

- Penny, Cody's still out there.

- Dick, let's go.

Now.

- Penny, you're just imagining-

- What is it?

- I don't know, Penny.

I don't know.

- Oh, no.

Not again.

Penny, quick,

roll up your window

and lock your door.

Dick, it's on the roof!

- Oh, God!

- It's so horrible.

- Okay, I think it's gone.

- Yeah?

- Let's just get out of here.

Penny! Penny!

- What are you doing here,

cockroach?

- It's a free country,

Officer Watson.

- You little nosebleed.

- Officer! Cody!

- Yeah, kids?

- A monster.

We were attacked by a monster.

- A monster?

- Yeah, we were in my car

up in the trees.

And it had a big eyeball,

and it tried to kill us with a-

- A thing, like,

a big tentacle thing.

- Yeah, it was real, I swear.

- A monster, Dickie?

- Officer Watson,

you have to believe us.

- You know what I believe?

I believe your punk pranks

have gone too far this time.

- What?

- Last summer,

it was the killer with the hook.

The year before that-

- Officer, please.

Please.

- It's time

you learned your lesson.

Get in the car.

- Officer.

- Get in the car.

- Hey, watch it.

- You too, young lady.

- Not so fast, Watson.

I know my rights.

Oh, I'm-I'll get in.

I'm in. I'm in.

- I'll haul these punks in;

you drive their car.

- Okay, Vern.

- Thanks a lot, Code.

Just there and back, right?

- Really hate that guy.

- Ted, is that you?

- No.

- Not a note, nothing?

Look at you.

- You are Lana.

- And you are a mess.

- You are Ted's mate.

- Of course I am.

- Ted loves Lana.

- And Lana loves Ted.

- Hormonal polarity.

Yes, I have heard of

this phenomenon.

Odd sensation.

Call it what you will, dear.

Last night was wonderful.

Now, go clean up, get dressed,

and come to breakfast.

- You are Lana.

You must assist me.

- Really, Ted,

you can dress yourself.

Men.

And if you must go off

chasing your meteors

in the middle of the night,

next time you tell me.

I was worried half to death.

Ted, what is this?

Pocket-sized binoculars?

- No.

- Oh, Ted,

I know how to be careful.

Oh, you scientists.

Go sit down.

Breakfast is ready.

Ted I'm going to tell you

something Mother said.

She said,

"It can happen in a marriage.

"One morning you just wake up,

and there's a stranger sitting

across from you."

I told her

it was utter nonsense.

Now I'm not so sure.

Oh, Ted, are you all right?

- What is this?

- Oh, no.

Oh, dear.

Ted, you stay right there.

I'm gonna call Dr. Miller.

Darn it, the line is still out.

Ted, you must go lie down.

- What is this called?

- Salt.

It's called salt.

- Salt.

This will harm the Ghota.

You are Lana.

You must assist me.

- Oh, Ted, stop it.

You're scaring me.

- Ted wants you safe.

- How was breakfast, Chief?

- Oh, same old slop.

Anything up?

- Old man Wilson called again,

screaming about his space man.

- Was he drunk?

- Of course.

And the typewriter

needs a new ribbon.

- Paperwork, Stiles,

get used to it.

Better you than me.

In two days, I'm retired.

Case closed,

as Officer Watson likes to say.

- Ha.

Vern brought in some kids.

- Uh-huh.

Making a false report

to the police,

that's a very serious charge,

Mr. Perkins.

- We were attacked,

Chief Dawson.

We got attacked by a monster.

- Mm-hmm.

That's what it says right here,

all right,

"attacked by a monster."

- It looked like a big eyeball

with a long tentacle thing.

- Right.

- It tried to kill us.

You have to believe me.

I've never been so scared.

- I'm going to notify

your parents.

- No, please don't.

- Just give us a break,

will you?

- If I ever see any of you

in my office again,

you'll all need lawyers.

You dig me, Mr. O'Hara?

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