Alien Trespass Page #3

- Mm-hmm.

- Get out of here

before I change my mind.

- Ah.

Yeah, okay, Merlin.

Yeah, okay, you old hound.

Come on.

Come on.

Away you go.

Away you go.

Don't be gone long,

you old goat.

Sorry about last night,

space brothers.

Just a little bird shot.

No harm done, right?

I'll take you

to our leader today.

I promise.

I will.

- Ted, darling,

what are you doing?

- Salt.

- It's-it's under there.

You know that.

Why don't you go lie down?

- Salt will protect Lana.

You will assist me.

- Of course I'll assist you.

I'll take care of you.

- Good.

We must go.

You will drive.

- Yes, of course I'll drive.

Um, we'll go see Dr. Miller.

It's Saturday, but-

- No doctor;

the Ghota.

- The Ghota?

What Ghota?

You need to see Dr. Miller.

- I must find the Ghota

before it divides.

- You need to see the doctor.

- Ted wants you safe.

- Stop saying that.

I am safe.

Ted is not safe.

- No.

Ted is safe.

- I'm going to get Dr. Miller.

- You will not assist me?

Lana.

Lana.

Lana?

- Oh, hey, toots, do me a favor.

Run out to the Gunderson farm

and pick me up three dozen eggs.

You got time to get out there

and back before the lunch crowd.

- Sure, Sam.

- Dr. Lewis.

Hello?

- You are Tammy.

- Gosh, Dr. Lewis,

I didn't think

you remembered me.

- Ted remembers you.

- Um, uh, where are you going?

- That way.

- To the butte?

Can I give you a lift?

I'm headed that way myself.

- You were going that way.

- Oh.

Well, a girl can change

her mind, can't she?

- Yes.

Minds can be changed.

- Is something wrong?

Oh, gosh.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

I know you're married.

- Yes.

Lana is Ted's wife.

- Please, I don't mean

anything by it.

I was just trying to be...

helpful.

- You will assist me?

- I'd be happy to, Dr. Lewis.

- Good.

- Ah, well, all right then.

Um, Dr. Lewis, can l-

can I call you Ted?

- My name is Urp.

- Do you want some Rolaids?

I've got some in my purse.

Dr. Lewis.

Can l-Ted.

Can I ask you

a personal question?

- Yes.

- At night, when you're

looking through a telescope,

do you ever wonder

what's out there?

I mean, what's really out there.

- I know

what is really out there.

- I suppose you do.

But I'm talking about

other worlds

and civilizations and things.

It gives me shivers

just to think about it.

- I get shivers

on Toolamane Four.

- What's that?

- It is one of seven ice planets

that orbit

the neutron star Tryxl.

- Ice planets?

You can see other planets, wow.

I never knew

you astronomers could do that.

- I have been to many planets.

My home planet is Koddhar.

It is in the Draco cluster.

- Right.

What is that thing?

- It is a biogenic

phase disruptor.

- A what?

Is that, like, some kind of gun

or something?

- Yes.

- I hope you don't hunt with it.

You don't hunt with it, do you?

- Yes.

- Well, my gosh, I never thought

you'd be the type, Dr. Lewis.

The stores are full of meat.

You don't have to go around

killing defenseless animals.

- The Ghota is not defenseless.

- Goats.

You're hunting goats.

- Ghota, not goats.

- Ghota, goats,

whatever you say, I don't care.

It's cruel.

- It is necessary.

In several of your hours,

the Ghota will divide.

If it is not stopped

before that,

it will feed

and then multiply exponentially

until Ghotas consume all life

on this planet.

- And you're here to stop it.

- Yes.

I would be called

a federal marshal in your world.

I enforce security

in this quadrant.

- Deals, deals, deals!

Come on down today

to Freddy's Ford!

Freddy's Ford, where we-

- Friends, do you have

tired blood?

- Hey, Lloyd, leave it on.

- What for?

It's all trash.

- I want to hear it.

I think maybe I got tired blood.

- No, you've got lazy blood,

Bubba.

There's a difference.

- If you have

that rundown feeling-

- Hey, Lloyd, I think maybe

I got that rundown feeling

all the-

Ow.

- If you so much

as touch that radio again,

I'm gonna throw you

in front of the truck,

and you're gonna have

a run-over feeling, you hear me?

- Lloyd.

- "Lloyd."

- Damn, Lloyd.

What was that thing?

- I don't know.

I-I don't know.

- Where'd it go?

- Sure was ugly.

- What was that?

- I-I don't know.

- Let's get back to town.

- Well, my truck broke down

right here

in beautiful bustling Mojave,

and I've been stuck here

ever since.

I finally got

a little money saved,

and someday,

I'll move to Sausalito.

It's a very hip town,

you know.

There are a lot of artists

out there.

And maybe I'll open

an art gallery.

Gee, I sure can blabber on.

You haven't heard a word

I've said, have you?

- Yes, I have.

Your last sentence was,

"Gee, I sure can blabber on."

Yeah.

It's all

wishful thinking anyway,

some pipe dream.

- No.

You will move to Sausalito.

You will make art.

You will open an art gallery.

- Really?

Now, how do you know all this,

pray tell?

- Because I do.

- Whoa.

Let's change the subject, okay?

Tell me more about your Ghotas.

Do they have three eyes

and six horns?

No.

They are unicellular amphipods

with a nucleolytic

subdermal membrane

and capable of complete

chromodynamic distortion.

- What does all that mean?

- Ghotas can

make themselves invisible.

- Invisible.

Cool.

- Ghotas are not cool.

Their metabolic temperature

is 155 of your degrees.

Ghotas are an aggressive,

intelligent, and clever species.

This one disabled the plasma

injectors on my spacecraft.

I was forced to land

on your planet.

The Ghota escaped.

- So Ghotas can, uh, think?

- Yes.

Stop.

Stop here.

- What?

Did you see something?

- No, I sensed it,

over there by that dwelling.

We get out here.

- We?

- You must come with me.

Ted wants you safe.

- That's sweet of Ted.

I want Tammy safe too.

- Come.

Stay behind me,

close.

- Um, Dr. Lewis, I really don't

think we should be here.

- Stop.

Don't move.

This is not good.

- What is not good?

It's only a puddle.

Somebody spilled something,

that's all.

- Yes, a puddle.

- So why is a puddle not good?

- The Ghota has eaten.

It absorbs its prey's nutrients,

leaving only water

and metabolic residue.

- What?

- Humans are mostly water.

- Humans?

That's a person?

- It was a person.

- Oh, look at it.

That is a mud puddle.

It's not a person.

Dr. Lewis, Ted,

aren't you carrying

this Ghota thing

a little bit too far?

I mean, you're very creative,

and I think it's great

that you're rounding up

all the bad killer space goats.

- Quiet.

Stay behind me.

- Oh, this is absurd.

What for?

- Ted wants you safe.

- Oh, would you please

not talk like that?

It is beginning to bug me.

I think I've had enough

of this silly, stupid game.

- You are safe with me.

- You keep away.

- Pull over.

I got to take a whiz.

- Can't you wait

until we get to town?

- No, I can't.

Now, please pull over there

by those trees.

- Oh, you're like a child,

Bubba.

Now, what was that?

Don't go too far, Bubba.

You're too drunk

to find your way back.

- Don't worry about it, Lloyd.

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