Aliens In The Attic Page #2

Miss Smarty-Pants.

- That's a gateway gun.

How about what's next?

B.B.? Pellet?

Stun? What am I gonna do? What do you

think I should do? I don't know what to do.

Can't you keep him in his room

for the rest of the week?

- But it wasn't even me. - Okay, you boys

are just lucky that Ricky wasn't badly hurt.

It's okay, Mr. P.

I was a little kid once too.

Oh, that's nice, Ricky.

Thank you. He's a good guy.

He's a good guy.

But, no, I'm not okay with this.

Look, we're up here to fish,

not to hunt your sister's boyfriend, all right?

You could have put his eye out.

Would that have been funny? I don't think so.

All right, let's start over with a clean slate.

Tomorrow, we fish.

- 7:
00 a.m. sharp.

- 7:
00?

- You're kidding.

- Pass. Nate?

Yeah, Stu. Don't you think that's a little early?

How about this?

Way to crack the whip, Nate.

Way to crack the whip.

Stu. Stu.

Natey, the TV's gone haywire.

Stu, TV's gone haywire!

Mom. Mom, stop it. It's probably the dish.

After the storm,

I'll climb up on the roof and fix it.

Hey, wait a second, Mr. P.

Let me fix the dish, man.

That's the least I can do for your hospitality.

- No, Ricky. You're hurt.

- No. It was just a graze.

Oh, no, honey. He's fine.

Go ahead, Richard. Show some hustle.

Yes, indeedy.

But I will be needing a helping hand.

So what do you say, brother?

Give us a chance to bury the old hatchet.

Make things right with Ricky,

or don't come off that roof.

Ladies first.

Total creep show.

All right. Here we go.

Listen, about that paintball thing--

Hey. Don't even worry about it.

Firecracker! Too slow.

You know what? Thanks to your little

sharp shooting stunt...

I racked up pity points with your parents...

and big sis is just itching

to be my private nurse.

So thanks a ton, ace.

That was a textbook wingman move.

Come on. Quit stalling.

Get your butt up there

and make me Nana's hero.

But you told my dad you'd fix it.

Aw, well, I told your dad a lot of things.

Like my car broke down,

my parents own a lake house...

I'm 18.

You-You're not a senior?

Not in high school.

Now go.

Go.

There you go.

Hello?

Hello?

- Dude, you make it too easy.

- It's not funny.

What the heck happened to the dish?

I can't do a week here without TV.

I can't do a week here, period.

Hello, hu-mans.

- Please tell me you see that too.

- Not sure I want to.

- But, yeah.

- We come from upstairs!

I handle human contact.

- Yes, sir. Noted. It's understood.

- Hello, humans.

No need to notification army.

- We come in pieces.

- In peace.

- What?

- Say it with me. "Peace. "

- What are you talking about?

- Read the book. Peace.

Forget the book!

Attack the humans! Attack!

- With pleasure.

- Humans, submit.

- Hey, what is taking you girls so long?

- No, don't. No. No.

Ricky!

- What's happening to him?

- Now the fun begins.

- Testing. Testing. Testing.

- Testing. Testing. Testing.

Testing.

Humanoid subjects,

we are the Zirkonian species.

And we hereby claim your

luscious planet as our own.

- Wha- Wha... - You have the

choice of eternal enslavement or...

instantaneous death.

- Run?

- I'm good with run.

You have chosen instantaneous death.

The human grubs are escaping.

- It's locked.

- Not from me.

- We're trapped.

- Duck!

Unbelievable.

- Razor, go!

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, can I play too?

- Hannah, thank God. Open. Hurry.

Hurry.

Creepy-crawly!

No, no, no. Come back. Come back!

- Take them down!

- Look out!

Hey, frog-face!

What's with all the noise?

- Open the window!

- Open it.

- You open it.

- No, you open it.

- Hurry! Get them!

- Help!

Someone, open it!

Come on. Right there.

- Charge!

- Hurry up!

Move, twin!

Everybody, downstairs now!

- Why?

-Just move!

Creepy-crawlies.

- Creepy.

- Go, go, go!

Get down! Down!

- Pull! Pull! Pull!

- I am! Hurry!

- Stupid remote control.

- Glorious commander, be careful.

- What's wrong with it? Fix it.

- Be careful!

You a zombie?

- No. You?

- No.

Prove it.

- What do you mean?

- I mean prove it!

You-You wet the bed until you were 10.

A zombie wouldn't know that.

- Here they come! - Look out!

- Ugly humans, submit.

Get the rope.

- Tie it off!

- I'm trying. Push harder.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

She scratched me with her claws!

Sorry, sucker.

He cut off her nails.

We gotta call 911.

- I can't get a signal.

- Neither can I.

Mine's dead too.

- Those midget Martians must be jamming us.

- Never a good sign.

It's working!

There's no buttons. What is this thing?

It's a rotary phone. You spin it.

What happened up there?

Was "get them" not clear enough?

Someone was obviously distracted.

I was following the plan.

You were playing with your little toy.

- This is a deadly weapon! It is.

- No. These are deadly weapons.

Listen on yourselves. This is why

we lost success on our mission previous.

Not looking to blame throw,

but that one was Razor's fault.

- What? You were the one... - If we lose

success this time, I lose my command.

Now, you're going to learn to work together...

or we will together end up shoveling manure

back in Sector 7.

We won't let you down, sir.

Let's go enslave some humans!

Actually, about that,

I'm sure enslaving is plenty of fun.

- But why the hu-mans?

- What?

- They don't seem that bad.

- Aw. Rookie.

"They don't seem that bad."

- Funny. That's what our engineer previous said.

- Engineer previous?

Right before the creature

that was "not that bad" ate him!

The humans are vicious.

Peace is not an option.

Sheriff here.

Th-there's an alien invasion

at our rental house.

- Knee-high beings. Very violent.

- Knee-high. Like a hobbit?

No. Real. Look, I know this sounds crazy...

- but you gotta understand--

- Okay, yeah, listen, son.

You do know making a fraudulent complaint

is a federal offense. It's punishable--

Hello?

Decent technique... for a female.

How's that technique?

Hello?

We gotta tell our parents.

Think he's still an alien zombie?

You are useless.

Why aren't the mind-control plugs working?

You're the engineer.

Figure it out. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Fix it!

- Fix it. Fix it now, you idiot.

- He's not talking to us, right?

I think he's picking up their conversation.

They had, like, a Bluetooth.

What do you mean their hormone levels

are too unstable?

Are you telling me the plugs only work

on mature subjects?

Why did we not plan for this?

You have failed me, you incompetent piece of--

- Deck.

- Translation not available.

These humans will pay!

Did you hear that?

Yeah. Sounds like Ricky landed on his face.

No. Those things they shot at us,

they-re-they're mind-control plugs.

They won't work on kids.

It's like you said. We're wired differently.

Wha-What about Ricky?

It tagged him and he's Bethany's age.

No. He lied. The tool's in college.

So if their plugs don't work on kids--

- That means we're safe.

- It means we can fight 'em.

It means they'll go after our parents.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes