Aliens In The Attic Page #3

They're walking targets.

We got to tell 'em. Now.

Wait. Think.

If our parents even go near those things,

they'll get zapped and end up zombies.

Our own parents will attack us.

We need the police

- and their hard-core firepower.

- Armed zombies. Even better.

- We're done. Game over. - Game over for

the grown-ups. But we can still fight back.

So you expect us to stop

an alien invasion on our own?

He's right. We're the only option.

But we can't tell anyone.

No police, no parents, no exceptions.

- Got it?

- Hannah?

They're up in the attic right now, little aliens.

They're loud and scary and really mean.

- Han, there's no such things as aliens.

- Yes, there is. I saw them.

They smashed the skylight

and tried to break the attic stairs.

Well, let's hope not for your sake.

We put a huge deposit on this place.

So you boys better keep it in one piece.

- You heard her, Tom. No more trouble.

- It was just a video game.

- We shouldn't have let her watch. It's rated

"T" for "Teen". - It's teen violence.

Tommy, I'm scared.

I don't like the mean aliens.

Don't worry, Han. Just pretend it's a big game,

a game that we're gonna win.

-Just think about how little they are.

- Little and deadly.

- What do we do now?

- We figure out their weakness.

They flew here from another galaxy.

You really think they have a weakness?

First rule of the warrior code--

All enemies have a weakness.

Sparks, why isn't my locator map

up and running?

I told you. I need parts to repair it.

You're not helping--

Even on Earth, the male is dominant.

- Wait.

- But the female always wins.

What the--

By the rings of Zirkon.

That makes no sense.

They were fighting.

Now their lips are hugging?

- I would never.

- Never.

- Ne-ver.

- I'm sorry.

Can I get you anything?

A cold drink? Some snacks?

Or would you rather help me

invade a planet?

All right,

recon's my specialty. I'm going up.

- I'm coming with you.

- Tom, be careful.

Enemy... apprehended.

I'll interrogate.

- Disgusting.

- What? Seriously, what?

Locator activated, sir.

Excellent. Target the objective.

Zoom in. Zoom.

Zoom. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

- You don't have to keep saying "zoom".

- Zoom. Zoom.

And... rotate.

I think they're after

something in the house.

- Let me get a better look.

- Stop.

Rotate.

The basement.

Tom, help me!

That must have hurt.

Basement. We gotta get to the basement.

Ricky?

Ricky!

Hey, guys, wait.

Have you guys seen Ricky?

Pretty sure he's still

hanging around here somewhere.

- Actually, Beth--

- He didn't leave, did he?

No, no. He--

He told us he was heading

back to the lake...

to, bronze up his rock-hard abs.

- Yeah, he wants you to meet him there.

- Wait.

What did you guys talk about on the roof?

Did he say anything about me?

No. No, no. He-- He talked about his car.

And--

But pre-pretty much just his car.

But you should hit the lake so

he doesn't think you're blowing him off.

- Yeah, the lake.

- Over there. It's probably good there.

- I'm telling you, their map led down here.

- You positive?

You hear that? Rice Krispies.

What is that?

It's them.

Something down here's setting it off.

Well, whatever it is,

we can't let 'em get to it.

Everyone, gear up. We move on my command.

Now, just hold on.

If we run up there with a bunch

of random junk, we're gonna get creamed.

We can make something better.

We're in the middle of a battle,

and you wanna play science fair?

No way. We're going back in now...

before our parents end up as alien zombies.

You're not thinking. We need a plan.

- I already have a great idea for a weapon.

- Really?

Let's go.

Now.

Hannah, hand me that tape.

- What's up, Nate?

- Hey, guys! - Hey, Nana!

Who wants a treat?

That's a lot of tools to try to fix the TV.

They're busting through.

The warrior code says strike first.

- Art, cover me.

- With the rake?

How do you feel now? Suckers!

Mission accomplished.

Oh, God.

- Oh--

- Crud.

It's a dud.

What the--

- What's happening?

- Why are we floating?

They turned off the gravity,

like in Halo.

This isn't Xbox, Lee.

It's real. Like Wii.

- Now what are we gonna do?

- I don't know.

Stay behind me.

- No! Don't! Don't!

- There's no gravity.

Hello, hu-mans.

Enjoying the ride?

They have gravity boots.

- Why don't we have gravity boots?

- "They have gravity boots."

The door! Stop 'em! Use your weapon, Tom!

- Bring it, meat sack.

- Today!

A potato gun? That's your big idea?

- My plan is working.

- My plan. You mean my plan.

Hurry, Tommy!

- You okay?

- I'm fine. The door.

On it.

Jake, get the grenade!

Hurry!

Quick! Toss it here!

What?

Sock Monkey.

You little--

Quick! Get 'em!

Go!

- Shoot him! Shoot him!

- Go, go, go!

Shoot him!

- Come on!

- Again.

Buttocks on fire!

That's the thing they used to control Ricky.

Cool. Let me see it.

Nice action on the toggles.

Wait. What are these?

Give it back. Let me see.

- I picked it up first.

- Give it back.

- It's mine.

- Hey, hey, hey, guys. This is not a toy. It's real.

- Ricky?

- Yep.

Get him before somebody finds him.

I'll stand alien watch.

I'm sure that'll buff right out.

Wonder where he went.

I'll find him.

Cool. So these move him.

And these...

operate the arms.

Talk about the ultimate Game Boy.

- [Laughing]

- What does that big button do?

What the--

My car!

That would be the on-and-off button.

Press it again.

Car!

- Who did this to my car?

- You did, you giant idiot.

Ricky!

Where have you been?

Shut up, you little b-- Bethany.

What?

- Why are you hitting me?

- Why are you being such a jerk?

Revenge is so sweet.

I just spent the last hour

walking around the lake. Where were you?

- I--

- That's what I thought.

No. I-I don't know.

- Want me to bring him back?

- Babe, please don't be mad at me.

- Did your brain fall out of your head?

- Let him suffer.

Where's Ricky?

Taken prisoner by the aliens?

No. Worse. My sister.

Any action up here?

It's been quiet. Too quiet.

No talking in here. Got it?

What are they doing in the vents?

- Their map.

That's how they'll get to the basement.

- What do we do?

I hope this works, Einstein.

I didn't get to thank you

for pulling me to safety back there...

because I didn't need you to.

- That doesn't make sense.

- I don't like you.

- Stop talking.

- Good to know. Okay.

Sweating?

Hot!

Hot! Hot! Hotter! Run!

Fall back! Fall back!

Sounds like they're mad.

Nice job. I think it's working.

Kids, get down here right now!

Who turned on the heat?

I did. We need that on.

Are you crazy? It's July.

- Yeah, but it's-- it's freezing in here.

- Yeah. Arctic.

Yeah. I think Hannah's

coming down with something.

What's going on?

We're fighting aliens.

I'm pretending it's pretend.

I mean, it is pretend.

Okay, but I'm not pretending,

so don't touch the thermostat.

- Tom, I'm not playing around.

- Neither am I.

Tom, I'm not kidding. You wanna spend

the rest of the week in your room?

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