Aliens In The Attic Page #5

Ha! Got him!

Don't let 'em take Snuggle Lump!

Art, wait!

- Shoot him! Shoot the humans!

- Incoming!

- Shoot 'em up!

- Hit the deck!

- You lose.

- Zirkon forever!

I'm sorry, Hannah. I'm sorry. They got hi m.

- Sweet, huh?

- Very nice.

This is the Creek Landing

Sheriff's Department.

Open this door at once,

or I will begin forcible entry...

in 10, 9...

- 8, 7, 6... - You guys get rid of the cop.

I'm going after the aliens.

- We can't leave him up here.

- 2, 1.

I don't know how much you kids

know about penal codes...

but making phone calls with the intent

to annoy or harass is a serious offense.

It's called criminal mischief.

And it could mean 6 months in jail.

- Any misuse of this system compromises

this county's... - Weapons.

only line of defense, and that's me.

Around here, I am the law.

Literally, I'm the only one.

My deputy's on maternity leave.

Look, Sheriff, we told you we're sorry.

It won't happen again.

So, really, you can leave now.

We'll be good.

Oh, I can leave?

Okay, we got the whole problem solved.

Hey, what's that there?

Squadron, come in. Come in.

Do you have Sparks?

- No. - Is there any job

you two can't screw up?

Come in!

I'm sorry. I apologize.

That was uncalled for.

- You're still trapped in that box, aren't you?

- Yes, I am.

- Step aside, young man.

- No need for that.

It's just my sister's robot dog.

It's sound activated. Right, Han?

Right. It's not an alien.

You know what? I'm gonna take a look

inside that chest, so please step aside.

It's the po-po. Be cool.

One hour. We're gone one hour.

What happened? What'd you kids do?

Hi. Nina Pearson. Are you kids okay?

- Is everything okay?

- No, ma'am.

I'd say making a fraudulent call to 911 about

an alien invasion is most definitely not okay.

- You called 911?

- Come on, buddy.

I'm sure you can let these kids off

with a warning. Look at 'em.

is missing a front license plate.

- 3, how about I write you up a ticket?

- How about you don't?

Nate, stop talking.

You people usually leave your

children unsupervised like this?

No. No, not at all.

We had to go into town to the leasing office.

They shut our power off.

Looks all right to me.

Sheriff, I know this isn't

something to be taken lightly...

but honestly, they are really good kids.

Why don't you stay and see for yourself?

We're barbecuing.

-Join us.

- Mom--

Thank you, ma'am.

I'd like to, but I am on duty.

Look. The kids made a big mistake.

And I assure you, Tom will be punished.

But my wife is right. We got plenty

of great food. Why don't you stick around?

I know you're on the job, but there's no law

against a home-cooked meal.

Got lots of hot dogs, hamburgers, steaks and--

Okay.

I have to admit, it has been a while.

- All right. Arm successfully twisted.

- Great.

I guess an hour off won't kill anyone.

No.

Gotcha.

Hey!

What was that?

- What was what?

- I don't know. I felt something.

- Come on, everyone. Dinner.

- Let me help you with the bags.

Inside. I've got the desserts.

- You're going down, punk!

- You're going down, punk.

- I just said that.

- I just said that.

- Stop that.

- Stop that.

You've been punked.

Hail Zirkonia.

Okay, now hold on, Mom.

I'm not following. Now, what happened?

One moment I'm cleaning my chompers...

and then the next thing

you know, I'm down here.

You know, you're entitled to

a few senior moments at your age.

I'm sorry, sweetie. I forgot.

Did you want cheese on your burger?

No. I want to find whoever invented love

and hack him apart with a machete.

- Boy trouble.

- That makes 2 of us.

- I don't know what to do about this Tom situation.

- We have a guest. Happy face.

- Hey, Nate, where's Jake?

- I have no idea.

Well, dinner's almost ready.

How about you track him down?

Jake's an adult.

If he wants to eat, he'll come down and get it.

- Oh, sorry.

- That will raise welts.

- Excuse us.

- No. Pardon me. Watch your head.

I tell you, there's nothing more American

than a charred chunk of meat...

hittin' your stomach.

- I bought the pickles.

- Really?

If you think a dill spear is gonna get you

out of that ticket, it's a no-go, mister.

My stomach. I'm starving.

- Any word from Jake?

- Still no signal.

- Where is he?

- Hey, boys. None of that at the table.

Right, Nate?

They're playing with their phones.

Oh, yeah. Slap it on.

Hey, Hannah, did you eat all the hot dogs?

No.

I mean, yes.

Gotta tell ya, this sure beats

eating ramen noodles in my squad car...

every day by myself.

Comfortable up there, Earth boy?

- Hope so.

- Enjoy some dirt in your face.

Help!

Attention, all. Resistance is futile.

Give me what I need.

Oh, baby. I knew you'd come back.

Step aside, hormonal female.

Wait. You're calling me hormonal?

Back away.

You are irrelevant to my mission.

Irrelevant?

I don't care how old you are.

You can't talk to me like that!

What is going on?

Teen drama. I-I think.

It is teen drama, right, Ricky?

- Snuggles!

- Turn him off.

- It's not me.

- Snuggles!

- Let's move. Bring Nana.

- Freeze.

You kids have not been excused.

Let them go!

We're playin' a game, Uncle Stu-- I mean, Stu.

We're on vacation. Am I aging backwards?

Yeah, I don't think so. You really want

to deny me my time with the kids?

Guilt never gets old. Well, go ahead.

I think we oughta keep Mom

out of the pinot grigio.

You have lost.

And now the invasion shall begin.

Invasion? You mean there's

more of you guys coming?

Many more. And we will crush you like bugs.

- Not if we crush you first.

- I will not be beaten by children.

Anymore signs of resistance,

and the one you call Jake will be eliminated.

- I want Snuggle Lump back!

- That's it.

Time to die.

Richard?

You remember Nana.

Game on.

Game over.

- What was that move?

- Double right-thumb click with a left-panel twist.

Chinese get up!

He's on the light! Send Nana after him!

- Nana!

- Lee! Flying's your specialty.

Take him out, Lee.

- Thumb cramp. Thumb cramp!

- Give it to me.

- Ricky?

- What the--

Nana?

Yes, scream, human,

for your species ends tonight.

What the heck was that thing?

Space alien. Too much to explain.

We think they're probably here

to destroy the world as we know it.

If we don't get down there,

we're gonna be in real trouble.

I'd say that's the

understatement of the century.

Mom? Are you okay?

What-- What happened?

How-- How did I get--

I think I need a glass of water.

Okay. Somebody better start talking.

It looks like you guys

had a battle royal in here.

- We did. Nana versus Ricky.

- Not now, Hannah.

- Dad, it's not what it looks like.

- All of you, upstairs, now.

- But, Uncle Stu, it wasn't our fault.

- Now.

Get up.

Okay, unless you wanna join them,

you better spill it.

What the heck happened in here?

I haven't got a clue as to what happened...

but my back hasn't felt this good in ages.

Mom? Mom? Where you goin'?

Aliens.

Build machine... now.

No.

I'm sorry, guys.

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