All American Bikini Car Wash

I've learned that running

a business ain't easy.

And if anyone tells you

otherwise,

they're just lying to ya.

And running a bikini car wash?

Now, as glamorous as that

might sound...

Okay, I'll admit, it's pretty

glamorous.

But, it wasn't always like this.

Baby focus, I'm so close.

Are you?

Yeah.

Jack! Don't text and f***!

But it's okay. It's okay.

It's alright, keep going!

Yeah, just like that.

That's right.

You're cute... like a

little monkey

It feels so amazing...

Are you texting?

No!

What's wrong?

What's wrong? What's wrong?

What's wrong?

I thought you were close...

Yeah, I was, okay? Was!

That's past tense.

I can't have sex with you

while you're texting.

I can multi-task.

Yeah, come on. It's okay.

I'm still hard.

I can get that back.

I can get it back.

I like you, you're a fun guy,

you're super nice, but yeah,

something makes me think

you're not that into me.

No, no, no, no. I'm totally

into you.

What's my major?

Well...

Botany!

I mean, art history!

That's right...

Journalism.

One-night stands are

fun and all, but

a guy one-night standing has

to be able to focus on me.

Otherwise I could just go home

and vibrate.

Just got a new toy actually...

I'm gonna go home...

Do you have any batteries?

Yo, Jack. You get any tonight?

Kinda, sorta.

Nice man!

Gotta tell me your secret

sometime!

Level 36, man!

Hey Jack! The party is

wrapping up man.

Where's Tracy?

she left.

Well, you wanna have a

threesome with us?

Ew.

I'm just looking out for my boy.

So sweet of you...

I'm just gonna grab a beer.

Alright.

We should play a game.

Let's play "Cowboys and

Naked Chicks".

Does it involve boobies?

Of course it involves boobies.

I like it!

Boobies!

Hey, Brittany.

Jack! Guess what?

I just interviewed Tracy.

Seems she dropped you like

a bad habit.

Wait, hold up, what'd,

what did she say?

Spoiler alert!

Okay, okay.

Can we keep my love life out of

your documentary please?

I don't think I can.

So does that mean you

couldn't get it up?

No!

It was up! It was up just fine.

It was...

Next time I have sex, you

wanna film it?

I'm not making that kind

of film.

I'll just interview Vex.

I think he's a bit busy...

I swear I didn't do it!

I didn't do it darling!

Bang bang! Bang bang!

Breaking out the heavy

artillery, baby!

You're shooting an unarmed man!

Well, then arm yourself!

Hey, Brit.

Either of you got handcuffs?

You were about ready to

tell me what Tracy said.

Nice try.

F***ing creep!

What happened?

My boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

What did he do now?

Is everything ok?

He screwed his masseuse...

again!

Jack, can I crash here? For like

a day or two? I'll pay you.

Yes!

Yeah, the couch is available.

You could, sleep there until

I find some space.

Thanks.

I'm gonna make sure she's okay.

Okay.

Poor Amanda.

Why?

Well, she's like, totally

in love with Tori.

It's obvious.

I didn't know that Amanda

was into...

It's obvious, Jack.

I didn't know she liked...

It's obvious.

Nice.

Wanna grab a beer?

Yeah.

Great.

yummy!

So, took some good footage?

Yeah, I think so.

You okay?

Me? Yeah. Sorry. I zoned.

For you.

Light beer.

Hey, Brit, did you get me

dancing with those

cutie-patooties from the

football team?

You mean the basketball team?

Whatever, they were hot!

No, I didn't. Battery was low.

Aw, that's a shame. Jack,

come hang out with me.

I can't actually. I've gotta

clean the place.

I'm renting this from my Dad and

I can't just trash it, you know.

It looks fine. Come dance

with me!

Another time. Another time.

Promise.

Yay! I'll remember that.

You hanging out tomorrow?

Yeah, we should be. Yeah.

Cool. I'll text you.

Shake what your mama gave you,

baby! Come on!

Ride me dirty, Yeah!

Yeah!

Gotta collect rent.

I'm a wee bit short.

How much?

Like, sorta all of it.

You hit the casino again?

Dude, we talked about this.

No, I'm good for it I swear.

Alright, man.

Thanks. Love you.

I was just collecting rent.

Can I give it to you Friday?

My financial aid fell

through and

I can't even pay my

last payment,

which means I might not

even graduate.

Sh*t, that sucks.

Yeah, yeah of course.

Thanks.

Hey are...

are you and Tori...

Sh*t! My Dad!

Is Jack here?

I'm here, I'm here!

Thanks, Tori.

Hey I'll see you later

in class.

Hey!

You didn't return my calls.

Just stopping by to make sure

you didn't burn down the joint.

Not at all. Still here!

Not burning!

So, is she living here?

Tori? No, not at all.

Your mother and I didn't

get this place you so

you can have all your

friends living here.

No... no, no, no, no, no.

We just...

I just had a little

gathering last night.

Paint...

Painting party.

Nice, you painted? Can I see?

Yeah. Soon! It's not done yet.

Okay, sure.

Yeah, so Tori just...

Yeah, she stayed over last night

'cause she wasn't feeling well.

Must be the paint fumes.

You know what? I think

you're right.

Yeah, I think it was

the fumes, yeah.

Man, do I have the

beer shits.

Hey Mr. Miller!

He stayed over, too cause...

fumes.

You know, Jack, we only expect

the best from you,

and anything less is, well,

less, and not acceptable.

Absolutely.

If we find out that you're

screwing up

or using this as a party house,

you can say goodbye to the

skate shop. The house. The car.

All of it. Understand?

You do want the skate shop,

right?

And the other stuff, too.

Good. That's my boy.

I'm your boy!

I'll call you later.

Awesome, Dad. Thanks!

Next time, answer my call.

Yeah.

Run a real business? I don't

think I'm ready for all that...

Jack, you've spent the last

four years getting ready.

Awe come on, Professor, there's

gotta be another way.

Look, I'll re-take my final.

Not an option.

I gotta be honest,

this whole semester it seemed

like you were coasting.

Your colon cancer awareness

campaign?

I thought we had a

good campaign.

"Got Anal?"

It was catchy.

Listen, the only reason I'm

offering you this

is that your father and I go

back pretty far

and he has a good mind

for business.

I thought you might, too.

Maybe that gene skipped me.

Or I'm adopted.

Frank, the manager, is taking

another job,

so it works out perfectly.

Look, I don't know sh*t

about car washes.

Run it for a week, show a

profit. Do that, you pass.

I would give my first

born child to caress that ass.

You would give up a tiny,

beautiful newborn baby?

I think I would.

So, does your Dad know that

you lost your job yet?

No.

Does he know your renting out

rooms to your friends

to pay for your rent?

No. Not at all, and get this.

I got a 24 on my Final.

Wow! That's

fantastically awful.

Just look at Tori for a sec.

That should make you

feel better.

No. I still feel like a loser.

Yeah, me too. I swore that

would work.

You know my Dad's deal, man.

All I have to do is just pass

my business classes

and he gives me the cash

for the skate shop.

Yeah. I know, you've been

talking about it for years.

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