All American Bikini Car Wash Page #2

But what if you opened it and

it bombed, dude?

Maybe just go work for him.

It'd probably be easier.

I don't know. My professor

made me an offer.

Blowj*b? I mean,

I guess it's worth it and all if

you really want the grade...

No, dumbass, not a blowj*b.

If I show him that I can run a

business, successfully,

for a week, he'll give me the

credit I need to pass.

What kind of business?

Car wash.

Sh*t.

It's Big Tony and Bobby Bullets.

Those are their real names?

Vex, my man, how the

hell are ya?

Yeah, Vex, how da f*** are ya?

Come on.

Aren't you guys from here?

Cause, you sound like you just

fell out of a Scorsese movie.

Hey I'll cut ya for that,

ya know!

No, Bobby, relax.

It really wasn't that bad of

a criticism, ya know?

He did say Scorsese!?

No, listen you ain't gotta be

from New York to be New York!

I think you do.

Ya know, Vex, Paulie is

awaiting his payment

and it's our job to collect.

I'll pay it back, guys. Relax.

Paulie ain't one for relaxing.

No. Paulie don't do that sh*t.

You know, Paulie, he prefers

to break people's arms.

And necks!

That don't make Paulie a

priority?

Ya see, Paulie lent you the

cash,

now it's your job to

pay it back.

Quite f***ing simple.

And if that don't work out,

well...

things that are... attached to

your body, they start breaking.

This is very painful.

I told him I'd have it

this week.

You better! Or snap!?

End of da week, b*tch! Or snap!

End of the week.

Yo, damn baby. You got a whole

lot of junk up in that trunk.

What do you say I pull up that

bumper and smack that...

Oph!

Let's get out of here, Tony!

Dude, it was a sure thing!

Famous last words.

So, what are we gonna do now?

You're gonna help me with

the car wash.

Sure! But hey, I don't work

for less than thirty bucks

an hour, you know?

A man's gotta have his

principles.

Ten bucks an hour.

Sweet! F*** principles. I'm in.

Great.

Dude, we should hire Tori too!

Then we'd get some mad business!

Sure, yeah. Why don't we

just open a bikini car wash?

That's a brilliant idea.

That was a joke.

Think about it, man!

It can't miss!

We'd be printing money!

Vex, I'm not running a bikini

car wash, man. It's like, seedy.

But, highly profitable and

I can help.

Help? Dude, we got a hot chick!

Imagine her like soaping up

your car.

Maybe she winks at you, she

blows you a kiss.

You achieve wood. Perfect!

Absolutely, but there is more

than that to running a business.

-We got it all figured out,

Marvin.

You got the numbers

figured out?

Psh! Yeah, Jack's a numbers

whiz. Right?

We might need help with

the numbers.

It's not exactly the

kind of business

my Dad would be cool with,

you know?

And the Professor, I don't

think he wants me

turning his little car wash into

something out of a porno.

I'm so in.

Me, too!

Who said you can

join the team?

It'd be just like Senior Year,

when we ruled Liberty High.

It's a little different than

student government, bro.

Do you even remember

high school?

You know, considering you were

stoned half the time.

I think it was way more

than half.

It doesn't even matter. Look, I

didn't agree to this so...

But if you do, I can make sure

we actually make a profit,

which is the whole point,

correct?

Yeah, I mean I sure as sh*t

need the cash,

and Jack needs the grade.

Cool down guys, alright.

This is my mess, I make

the decisions!

So you're in, too! Nice!

No, I didn't say that!

Then what are your other

options?

You know, we got less

than a week

and you've got no money.

What else is there?

A lemonade stand?

C'mon. Let me hear your ideas.

I thought so. Think

about it, man!

The hot chicks! Sexy bikinis!

It can't miss!

There's no guarantee...

According to my calculations, it

would be a tremendous success.

I mean it would be nice

if it worked but...

We could run specials. Buy five

washes, get one free.

Theme days! Hot nurses!

And I'll do it for free.

Just help me get her.

Psh... Dude get in line,

alright?

Only a special kind of guy goes

balls deep with Tori.

Why don't you try with someone

like Amanda?

Amanda is totally into Tori.

Whatever, I just mean

someone more realistic, and less

Tori-ish.

My god. Wouldn't it be funny

if he lost Tori to a girl?

No! It would be uproarious.

It's just that, you guys always

get the girls, you know?

And I'm just, not.

I should be proud right now,

but I don't wanna think

about you alone in your room

next time I'm banging.

Come on, Jack, let's help this

bastard get laid.

Awe, dammit. I got myself into

this mess, didn't I?

Yup. But this could be

your chance.

Yo, my bro graduated with a

degree in engineering

and now he's flipping burgers.

It's sh*t out there, man.

Us millennials, we're screwed.

Look if you join the team,

I cannot guarantee you're

gonna land her.

Just guarantee that you'll try.

Remember the millennials.

F*** it.

That's the spirit! Yeah!

Can one of you boys help rub

some oil on me?

So, Tori,

I've got a possible business

proposition for you.

What do you think of this blue?

I love it. Take off these

bottoms.

And they go good with

these, too.

What do you think about

this one?

That one's cute. I like the

polka dots.

This must be what Heaven

looks like.

I don't think there are girls in

bikinis in Heaven, Vex! Geez!

Hey Marvin, big favor.

Shut the f*** up!

Shutting up.

Guys, is this too skimpy?

Hell yeah!

For the record, this is gonna

be f***ing awesome!

Holy sh*t, dude we got one!

Hey welcome. How can we

help you?

I want a car wash.

Kelly!

Hey, baby. Did you want the

standard wash, the premium,

or the 'Happy-Ending

Please-Cum-All-Over-Me Rubdown'?

I'll take the last one.

Please pull it... around.

And then you enter...

through the rear.

Yes, Ma'am!

Hi!

Hi! I'm sorry!

It's all good.

I've got plenty of life

to live but it's safe to say

that this will be the best

job I'll ever have!

No doubt, dude.

And with any luck, word of

mouth will spread.

Yeah, everyone is gonna know

about this bikini car wash.

Hey, guys!

Hey.

Brit! You totally missed the

grand opening

of Jack's bikini car wash!

That's 'cause I wasn't aware

Jack had started his own

business.

-It's no big deal. It's just

for my business class.

Yeah, and the whole

bikini aspect

is just a marketing thing.

Yeah, right!

The important thing is just

running the business.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. My bad.

So you have girls in bikinis

washing cars?

Yeah, Brit. It's a

bikini car wash.

You can't not have girls

in bikinis!

You know, Jack.

We're probably the only bikini

car wash in the whole zip code,

if not the whole f***ing state.

We're pioneers, bro!

It's inspiring!

Wow. Just like Lewis & Clark.

Wait 'til the girls in my film

class hear about this.

No. I don't know about...

Can I be in it?

Yes!

You should totally put

me in it too.

People love looking at this

f***ing face.

I'll start filming tomorrow.

Nah, nah...

You know, I'd...

I'd have to get permission and

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