All American Zombie Drugs

1

[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

I WONDER WHAT THE OLD DAYS

WERE LIKE, WHEN WEED WAS ENOUGH,

OR EVEN ALCOHOL.

WERE LIKE, WHEN WEED WAS ENOUGH,

OR EVEN ALCOHOL.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

OR EVEN ALCOHOL.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I'M STILL A FAN OF THEM...

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I'M STILL A FAN OF THEM...

BIG FAN.

I'M STILL A FAN OF THEM...

BIG FAN.

BUT, FOR ME, AND MY FRIENDS,

BIG FAN.

BUT, FOR ME, AND MY FRIENDS,

WEED AND ALCOHOL HARDLY GOT US

WEED AND ALCOHOL HARDLY GOT US

THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.

REMEMBER WHEN HEROIN WAS

POPULAR?

POPULAR?

NOW IT'S METH, AND THAT'S JUS NOW IT'S METH, AND THAT'S JUS THE ILLEGAL STUFF.

THE ILLEGAL STUFF.

NOWADAYS IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE

NOWADAYS IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE

IS ON SOME KIND OF DRUG.

MY QUESTION IS, WHY DOES IT FEEL

IS ON SOME KIND OF DRUG.

MY QUESTION IS, WHY DOES IT FEEL

LIKE WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR

MY QUESTION IS, WHY DOES IT FEEL

LIKE WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR

THE PERFECT DRUG, THE NEW HIGH?

LIKE WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR

THE PERFECT DRUG, THE NEW HIGH?

IS IT BOREDOM?

THE PERFECT DRUG, THE NEW HIGH?

IS IT BOREDOM?

DID THE OLD STUFF REALLY STOP

IS IT BOREDOM?

DID THE OLD STUFF REALLY STOP

WORKING?

DID THE OLD STUFF REALLY STOP

WORKING?

I THINK IT'S EVOLUTION, OR,

WORKING?

I THINK IT'S EVOLUTION, OR,

PERHAPS, US HARDCORE ADDICTS ARE

I THINK IT'S EVOLUTION, OR,

PERHAPS, US HARDCORE ADDICTS ARE

REALLY THE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE

PERHAPS, US HARDCORE ADDICTS ARE

REALLY THE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE

WORLD, EXPLORERS ON A CONQUEST,

REALLY THE UNSUNG HEROES OF THE

WORLD, EXPLORERS ON A CONQUEST,

FOREVER SEARCHING FOR NEW LEVELS

WORLD, EXPLORERS ON A CONQUEST,

FOREVER SEARCHING FOR NEW LEVELS

OF LIFE AND PLEASURE, FOR ALL

FOREVER SEARCHING FOR NEW LEVELS

OF LIFE AND PLEASURE, FOR ALL

HUMANITY TO ENJOY ONE DAY,

OF LIFE AND PLEASURE, FOR ALL

HUMANITY TO ENJOY ONE DAY,

UNITING US.

HUMANITY TO ENJOY ONE DAY,

UNITING US.

YES.

UNITING US.

YES.

MAYBE WE AREN'T SELFISH, BU YES.

MAYBE WE AREN'T SELFISH, BU RATHER SACRIFICING DAILY.

AND ONE DAY, WE WILL BE

CELEBRATED, INSTEAD OF LOOKED

DOWN UPON, FOR OUR GENIUS, LIKE

CELEBRATED, INSTEAD OF LOOKED

DOWN UPON, FOR OUR GENIUS, LIKE

MODERN-DAY VAN GOGHS.

DOWN UPON, FOR OUR GENIUS, LIKE

MODERN-DAY VAN GOGHS.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO

MODERN-DAY VAN GOGHS.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO

THINK.

[ FUNK MUSIC PLAYS ]

YO, BROOKLYN.

CAN I GET A LITTLE SOMETHING?

CATCH ME ON TUESDAY, BROTHER.

CAN I GET A LITTLE SOMETHING?

CATCH ME ON TUESDAY, BROTHER.

HELL, YEAH.

CATCH ME ON TUESDAY, BROTHER.

HELL, YEAH.

WHOO-OOH!

HELL, YEAH.

WHOO-OOH!

LOOK AT THEM LEGS!

WHOO-OOH!

LOOK AT THEM LEGS!

WHAT TIME DO THEY OPEN?

LOOK AT THEM LEGS!

WHAT TIME DO THEY OPEN?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT TIME DO THEY OPEN?

[ CHUCKLES ]

ACTUALLY, WE WERE HOPING YOU

ACTUALLY, WE WERE HOPING YOU

MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN A...

THREE-WAY?NTERESTED IN A...

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

SOUNDS HOT.

SOUNDS HOT.

BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, I JUS BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, I JUS FINISHED A FIVE-WAY.

ME, PERSONALLY, I'M COOL, BU FINISHED A FIVE-WAY.

ME, PERSONALLY, I'M COOL, BU THE GONADS?

ME, PERSONALLY, I'M COOL, BU THE GONADS?

EH, THEY MIGHT NEED A LITTLE

THE GONADS?

EH, THEY MIGHT NEED A LITTLE

EXTRA TIME.

EH, THEY MIGHT NEED A LITTLE

EXTRA TIME.

WHAT DO YOU SAY I MEET YOU BACK

EXTRA TIME.

WHAT DO YOU SAY I MEET YOU BACK

HERE IN, UH, 10 MINUTES?

WHAT DO YOU SAY I MEET YOU BACK

HERE IN, UH, 10 MINUTES?

[ WOMEN LAUGH ]

HERE IN, UH, 10 MINUTES?

[ WOMEN LAUGH ]

WELL, DO YOU THINK WE CAN GE [ WOMEN LAUGH ]

WELL, DO YOU THINK WE CAN GE SOME DRUGS FOR THE WAIT?

WELL, DO YOU THINK WE CAN GE SOME DRUGS FOR THE WAIT?

OF COURSE, MY LITTLE FREAKS.

SOME DRUGS FOR THE WAIT?

OF COURSE, MY LITTLE FREAKS.

HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GE OF COURSE, MY LITTLE FREAKS.

HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GE SOME FREE DRUGS?

HEY, YOU THINK I COULD GE SOME FREE DRUGS?

NAH.

SOME FREE DRUGS?

NAH.

BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING YOU

NAH.

BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING YOU

MIGHT WANT.

BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING YOU

MIGHT WANT.

THIS IS A 50% DISCOUNT COUPON

MIGHT WANT.

THIS IS A 50% DISCOUNT COUPON

THAT CAN BE USED AT ALL MY

THIS IS A 50% DISCOUNT COUPON

THAT CAN BE USED AT ALL MY

STORES.

THAT CAN BE USED AT ALL MY

STORES.

IT CAN BE USED ANYWHERE IN THE

STORES.

IT CAN BE USED ANYWHERE IN THE

UNITED STATES AND EVEN HAWAII.

IT CAN BE USED ANYWHERE IN THE

UNITED STATES AND EVEN HAWAII.

WE ARE, AFTER ALL, THE LARGES UNITED STATES AND EVEN HAWAII.

WE ARE, AFTER ALL, THE LARGES DISTRIBUTOR OF DRUGS IN THE U.S.

WE ARE, AFTER ALL, THE LARGES DISTRIBUTOR OF DRUGS IN THE U.S.

WITH THE BEST PRICES.

DISTRIBUTOR OF DRUGS IN THE U.S.

WITH THE BEST PRICES.

AND THE HIGHEST QUALITY.

HAVE YOU GIRLS EVER BEEN IN A

COMMERCIAL BEFORE?

[ WOMEN LAUGH ]

OH, SH*T, NOT YOUR MOM, TOO.

OH, THAT'S JUST NASTY!

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

OH, THAT'S JUST NASTY!

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

BUT YOUR GRANDMA DEFINITELY HAS

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

BUT YOUR GRANDMA DEFINITELY HAS

TO GO.

BUT YOUR GRANDMA DEFINITELY HAS

TO GO.

HEY, SEB?

TO GO.

HEY, SEB?

SEB?

HEY, SEB?

SEB?

HEY, GIRL, I DIDN'T FORGE SEB?

HEY, GIRL, I DIDN'T FORGE YOU.

HEY, GIRL, I DIDN'T FORGE YOU.

SEB?

YOU.

SEB?

COME ON, MAN.

SEB?

COME ON, MAN.

YOU'RE DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

COME ON, MAN.

YOU'RE DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

I SEE YOU LIKE IT.

YOU'RE DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

I SEE YOU LIKE IT.

YOU'RE A TICKLE FREAK.

I SEE YOU LIKE IT.

YOU'RE A TICKLE FREAK.

THAT'S COOL.

YOU'RE A TICKLE FREAK.

THAT'S COOL.

SO AM I.

THAT'S COOL.

SO AM I.

COME ON, MAN.

SO AM I.

COME ON, MAN.

COME ON.

COME ON, MAN.

COME ON.

I CAN TICKLE YOU, MAN.

COME ON.

I CAN TICKLE YOU, MAN.

COME TO DADDY!

I CAN TICKLE YOU, MAN.

COME TO DADDY!

OOH.

COME TO DADDY!

OOH.

YOU LIKE IT ROUGH, HUH?

OOH.

YOU LIKE IT ROUGH, HUH?

ME TOO.

YOU LIKE IT ROUGH, HUH?

ME TOO.

OH!

ME TOO.

OH!

HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!

OH!

HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!

[ HIGH-PITCHED MOAN ]

HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!

[ HIGH-PITCHED MOAN ]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?

[ HIGH-PITCHED MOAN ]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?

[ High-pitched voice ]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?

[ High-pitched voice ]

SEBASTIAN, I'M REALLY NOT THA [ High-pitched voice ]

SEBASTIAN, I'M REALLY NOT THA INTO YOU.

SEBASTIAN, I'M REALLY NOT THA INTO YOU.

NO?

INTO YOU.

NO?

WELL, THEN, WHY DID YOU COME TO

NO?

WELL, THEN, WHY DID YOU COME TO

THE ROOM WITH US?

WELL, THEN, WHY DID YOU COME TO

THE ROOM WITH US?

I DIDN'T.

THE ROOM WITH US?

I DIDN'T.

WHAT?

I DIDN'T.

WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T COME WITH TABITHA AND

WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T COME WITH TABITHA AND

SARAH AND JAMIE AND JENNY AND...

YOU DIDN'T COME WITH TABITHA AND

SARAH AND JAMIE AND JENNY AND...

JEANINE, THE HOT-DOG QUEEN?

SARAH AND JAMIE AND JENNY AND...

JEANINE, THE HOT-DOG QUEEN?

NO.

JEANINE, THE HOT-DOG QUEEN?

NO.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE GIRLS

NO.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE GIRLS

BEFORE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE GIRLS

BEFORE.

NO.

BEFORE.

NO.

IS THAT TRUE, GIRLS?

NO.

IS THAT TRUE, GIRLS?

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