All of Me Page #3

---

and then we will be all signed,

sealed and...

Oh, a tunnel...

Edwina?

-With a very bright light.

I was afraid of this.

-What the hell's she talking about?

Terry! Prakha!

What the hell is going on?

-Miss Cutwater?

Did she sign everything?

-Jan, an S 10... I. V. Hurry!

Call the insurance company.

How is she? Will she be all right?

-I'm losing her. I'm losing her!

Get out of my way, you fool!

I lost her.

Where am l?

-What?

Ah, I'm breathing. I must be alive.

-Who said that?

No, I can't be. I just died.

-Wait a minute.

I'm picking up General Hospital

in my fillings.

Oh, it worked. Oh, my Lord!

What the hell's happening to me?

-I feel...

Iike the healthiest woman alive. Oh!

Who said that? I did. I'm going crazy.

Oh-oh! That does not sound

like Fred's daughter.

No, I'm not going crazy.

Something hit me on the head. Oh!

I'm just hallucinating. That's all!

Oh!

-Oh, sh*t!

What the hell are you doing in there?

-Unbelievable! I can't even die right.

Why are you doing this to me?

-God, don't you get enough laughs?

What did I ever do to you?

-Somebody tell me this doesn't happen!

I'm afraid it is, so let's just

go inside and have Prakha Lasa

straighten out this mess.

-Oh, geez! I can't move my right leg!

I'm paralyzed!

-Here let me try.

Now!

Oh, we... we obviously have

mutual control over our body.

This is my body!

I'm not sharing my body with anyone!

Everybody's gonna be disappointed.

-Oh, where we going?

We've got to find Prakha Lasa!

-I can't got in there! Schuyler...

Excuse me, this is a private

conversation, do you mind? Ah, no!

Please, just do as I say!

-No! Oh!

Oh, you seem to have control

over the left side of your body,

while I feel dominant on the right.

Oh, let go of that.

You b*tch! How about a little respect

for the deceased?

Ow! Ow!

Let go of my hand, you bruthe!

I will not!

Oh, oh! Ow!

Just stop it!

If you want me out of you,

stop this ridiculous behavior.

-Lady, I don't know how you got in

but I'm gonna get you out of me

right now! Let's go!

Just wait, I'll go first.

Calm down and try to concentrate.

I'm the right side, uh,

and you're the left.

First me, then you.

Me, you.

See, if we just cooperate...

Now all we have to do

is find Prakha Lasa.

There's something we have to do first.

-What?

Oh, I have to take a leak.

-Oh!

Bix, go see Margo.

-Your foot, my foot,

your foot, my foot, very good.

Oh, you're doing wonderfully well.

Isn't it awful?

-I have no idea.

I can't go in there. That's the

Men's Room. Shut up and do as I say.

Don't you ever, ever yell at me again.

-I'm sorry,

this is not my idea of a good time.

-I'm not having my lucky day, either.

I died 5 minutes ago.

Oh, God! You'll have to do it!

-I'll have to do what?

You know, take it out.

-Take what out?

The little fireman.

-The little fireman?

You know, my penis!

-How dare you say

penis to a dead person?

-Listen, lady,

if you don't give Big Ed

some air he's gonna piss all over

your half of my body!

-Mr. Cobb,

if you are trying to scare me,

it won't work.

Oh! Ow! Damnit, stop it!

All right, first let go of your grip!

Now slowly take your hand. Now slowly!

All right,

now we're going to try it again.

Carefully, very carefully.

What the hell are you doing in there?

-I am trying to release your Mr. Ed.

Stop playing with it already

and take it out.

You don't have to talk out loud.

I can hear your thoughts.

Oh, great, just what I always wanted.

Shall I tap?

-Yes.

Tap, tap.

-Thank you.

I meant what I say about yelling.

I was just talking to myself in there.

It wasn't anything really.

Ah, there's Fred's daughter.

-Yoohoo, Terry. Stop it!

No, I don't use my mouth!

Try to walk more like a man.

All right!

Mr. Cobb, I feel so terrible.

-I know. It's not your fault

it didn't work.

-How do you know it didn't work?

You won't believe. Where's the Swami?

-He left when those people came in.

He's very shy, you know?

-Left? Well, where did he go?

Don't worry, I know where to find him.

-Mr. Cobb?

Do you still wanna go through

this transmigration? Fine.

Mr. Schuyler needs to see you.

-Fine, thanks.

Where can we reach you?

-At Miss Cutwater's. Who's we?

Roger? He said now!

-I'll explain later. Trust me.

Don't swing your arm so much.

-There's something very odd at Cobb.

He brings a dog to a law office for

3 years and you just noticed he's odd?

But he's speaking with a funny voice!

-Have you heard his secretary?

And he's impli...

We'll discuss this later!

Tattle tale!

-Are you feeling all right?

This Cutwater thing got under my skin!

I need to leave for about an hour.

No! We're going to court tomorrow.

-Court tomorrow. Uh, really, l...

Clear the decks. Sit down.

It's my divorce. Ah, nobody knew.

Tell you the truth,

it's a little embarrasing.

Seymour was representing me,

but he wasn't doing squat!

You want a partnership, you do for me

what you did in the Brenner case.

-Oh, God, not now.

Oh, just explain what happened.

-Are you crazy? I don't believe it.

If I tell him he'll have me put away.

Before I can take care of any of this

there's something very personal...

-Oh, yes, of course. All right,

sit down, I'll tell you everything.

-Oh, no, no, I meant that l...

Ok, don't be embarassed. I started

cheating on my wife 3 years ago.

Oh, goody, man! Talk.

-I never intended to.

Women just threw themselves at me.

-Oh, you must be joking.

What?

-I said, uh, must be choking.

Anyway, I'm Paul Newman or anything.

-You can say that again.

What?

-I said... could you say that again?

I'm not Paul Newman?

-Not Paul Newman.

Anyway, it seems that my wife's best

friend suddenly lost her husband.

Women usually do outlive their men.

So, naturally, she found herself

cut off from her

normal sexual relations and...

She turned to you and you comfort her.

I understand, sir,

you really didn't do anything wrong.

-Believe it. I was incredible.

I see, sir. I can figure out the rest.

-Oh, and then another one was widowed.

Ok, so 2 little indiscretions.

That's not such a big deal.

And then, another one. And another.

Going to a funeral gave me a hard-on.

Speaking on behalf of the dead,

I find this disgusting!

I think I got the picture now.

-I'm not sure. It's not just sex.

Let me tell you. These sweet darling

ladies gave new purpose to my life!

They gave me the opportunity to give

something back instead of just take!

Are you all right?

-I'm fine, fine!

Anyway, you understand what I say?

I give love and happiness to people

who really need and appreciate it!

I'm the West Coast distributor of

Iove and happiness. And for that I've

to go court? I don't deserve that!

I should get a dinner!

-He should get a social disease.

I won't let you down.

-Well, I'm counting on you! Son.

Shake hands with him. Like a man.

Crazy musicians.

-You won't regret this.

I know I won't. If I do, you'll never

practice in the Free World again.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes