All of Me Page #4

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I hope you plan on losing that case.

-How did it go, Roger?

The only thing I plan to lose is you!

-Nice talking to you, Roger.

You have a great deal to learn about

making someone feel welcome.

Let's get something straight here.

I never liked you in your body,

I certainly don't like you in mine!

-Well, I don't see why you're

getting so upset about all this.

-Because I want my body back!

And I want my freedom and my privacy.

And most of all, I'd like to be able

to take a leak without being fondled!

-You may find this hard to believe,

but fondling you while you make

pee-pee is not my idea of a good time.

Fine! Fine! It's two o'clock.

Round about.

-I have a lot of work to do.

I want you out of me by three fifteen!

Now where's the swami?

Well, he's never been away from Tibet.

So I put him up at the Ambassador.

Let's see. What is that number?

Hotels.

H, H, H, H. Let's see.

Let your fingers do...

Oh, here it is. The Ambassador.

And look over here. The Arlington.

That's where Mummy in spring of '62

had her amethyst stolen from her in

the elevator. It was so distressing!

Give me that!

No. No, he hasn't checked out.

Oh, dear!

-Yeah, oh, dear. Don't worry, I know

where to find him. Good going, Edwina!

-It's Miss Cutwater to you!

Hello, Margo.

-Oh, hi, Peg.

... follows me in a men's room I think

I can be on a first name basis with!

You told me to pull out your penis!

-How about a cup o' coffee?

Where is she?

-Oh, boy!

Where is she?

-There's nobody here.

Liar! I heard her!

-Peggy, I swear! Nobody else here!

Come on out, you little slut!

-Oh, who is she calling a slut? Sssh!

I heard that! Come on, denty it!

Where is she?

It was me. Bix, stop that!

-What was you?

The voice you heard. I was talking to

myself. Hey, your perfume suits you.

It's cheap and common!

-Ha! At least it was your side.

Who fondled you in the Men's Room?

-Me.

Liar!

-How dare she? Edwina!

Edwina? My name is Peggy, you pig!

-Oh, no, let me explain!

It's Edwina Cutwater!

She died today!

You did it with a dead woman?

-No!

You are sick! I came here to talk

about our marriage, although I heard

how you stick by my mother.

-What has your mother to do with this?

Tomorrow you attend the opposite side

against my own mother!

But I attend your father!

-You gonna tear her off a strip!

Now, that's...

-lf you go to court, it's the end!

And if I don't go,

your father will kick me in my balls.

Either me or your balls, Roger!

You can't get both!

Really a very interesting alternative.

I do not even know the use of balls

but I believe they are more important

for you than for your girl-friend.

Now?

-I depend too much on them, Peggy.

Farewell, Roger.

By the way, your dog is disgusting!

And jazz is absolutely hare-brained!

Oh! And I faked them,

all those orgasm...

Sound familiar?

Yeah, well, I faked mine, too!

Believe we're better off without her.

She isn't right for us.

Since our little accident, I sensed

a lot of hostility coming from you.

Excuse me! But I'm watching my entire

career going right down the sewer,

'cause I've got a dead woman

living inside me. And only person

that can get you out is cosmic weirdo

you can't even find!

I can so find him! I think! Oh, wait,

I'm sure I know where he'll be

this evening. Do you have a car?

Oh, this is fun!

-Shift, damnit!

Shifting, wheee!

-What are you doing?

I never learned driving! Which...

-The brake not the gas!

I don't know which it is. Oh!

-Bix, let go of her!

Stop it! Let go! Ow! I'm gonna

strangle this mangy mongrel.

All right, that's it.

-This is wrong! Where are we going?

It's enough that I've to put up wit

you, but I won't subject Bix to this!

Tyrone. Great, I gotta talk to you.

-Hey, Roger Dodger!

Got a call from the union about a gig.

They didn't say who recommended me,

but I smelled your fingerprints...

-lt was nothing really.

Can we get on with this, please?

-Uh, who's that? Someone with you?

Sort of, yeah.

-Well, introduce me to the lady.

M'm Edwina Cutwater, Tyrone Wattell.

Please to meet you.

-Pleased to meet you.

Hairy knuckles for a chick.

-Can you take care of Bix?

Oh, sure, l... Wait a minute.

Roger, what's wrong?

I really don't think I can explain it.

-What's wrong, Roger?

Edwina died today. Her soul entered me

and took the right half of my body.

Why didn't you say straight away?

-I knew you'd understand.

Thanks for not having me comitted.

-I got friends crazier than you,

but I ain't got many better.

-Thanks, pal. Go with him, Bix.

C'on, Bix. Nice meetin' you, Edwina.

-Bye.

A woman who would rather buy a candle

than to curse the darkness.

Pack 'em in don't you?

-Hello! Come in.

I can start over if you'd like.

-No, thank you.

And we wonder, Oh Lord, what it means

when a person passes away

and so few take the time

to pay final respects.

Oh, big deal.

-He's not here. Let's got find him.

However, we have received a number

of mailgrams, from reaved loved ones.

Wait, wait, wait! I must hear this.

-I got to prepare the most important

case of my life, let's get out here!

-No, I want to hear these mailgrams.

Oh, I really got to...

-I mean it, sit!

Very touching. "We will miss her.

The Valley Oxygen Supply Company."

(Edwina) Oh, that's sweet.

-"She was truly a great customer.

J & J. Wheelchairs."

-Oh, they remembered.

Browning Orthopedic Mattresses:

"May she continue to rest in peace."

Oh, how deeply touching.

Mr. Cobb? Mr. Cobb?

Oh, hi! What time is it?

Almost midnight. Now, please tell me

how you knew it didn't work?

Edwina?

She's asleep.

-Who's asleep?

Edwina. Don't wake her. Wow.

Great. When she's asleep, I can...

-Mr. Cobb, Miss Cutwater is dead.

No. She's not.

She entered me instead of you.

What?

-Oh, where's the swami?

I haven't seen him.

-Maybe he's back at the hotel.

I just called and there's no answer.

-We should go there and wait for him.

I gotta find him. I can't take more...

-You poor dear. You must relax.

Stop worrying.

-No, I think we oughta find him.

I'm sure he'll be at the funeral

tomorrow morning.

And if Miss Cutwater really

is inside you, he will help her

Ieave your body and enter mine.

I think I envy her.

Mr. Cobb,

this morning,

when I placed your hand on my heart

did you feel anything special?

Yes, I felt your left...

-Yes!

I felt something

very special pass between us.

Oh, Mr. Cobb, by this time tomorrow

my soul will be gone!

I want to know love one last time.

Don't you think we really oughta go...

-Please. Mr. Cobb,

Iet me take the memory of passion

to sustain me in the next world.

So this would be

like for a good cause?

Oh, yes.

We have to be very quiet.

-I'm not sure that will be possible.

My God!

It's a good cause. It's a good cause.

It's a good cause.

I'm ready, Mr. Cobb. Take me!

Sssh, keep sleeping, Edwina. Oh!

Now! Oh!

Now!

What is all this?

Now!

-What's going on here?

Oh, no.

-Oh, yes.

What are you doing to her?

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