Allegro non troppo Page #2

and the French dreaming away with

Les Bolero-o-o, Les Bolero, Les Bolerou

at cafes all across France,

steppin' to the Bolero sound...

and from the U.S. of A,

we've just heard that the millionth copy of

the LP Rolling', Ravelin', Raquelin' Bro

has been sold in Sunny Burbank to

young feelin' and thinkin' 85-year old

Grandma Luella Perkins...

A great success! A grat piece...

and as they say:

A touch of Bolero keeps you alive

and alle-groo-ou!

We're not here to stuff our faces

But what's the monkey got to do

with it now?

Well, I... there is no big monkey.

I don't see any monkees in the set.

There are other animals... but

I don't see a single monkey.

That big monkey looks like

a young man that

I met once in 1912 beforthe big war.

Nowadays men like him are

not seen anymore.

It's snowing in the theatre,

a very bad sign...

Leave it, leave it...

I don't believe it, but what's he doing

be careful, you are breaking him.

The old bags are all upset...

who can control them now?

Oh I knew it, my eye is twitching when

I get nervous my eye starts twitching

always the same thing,

always...

The next number on the program is

the Valzer Triste by Sibelius...

if you don't do it right I'll nail you

to the wall. On the wall. Remember.

Bravo... what feeling...

well done

we can't go on like this

the musical pieces are all too sad,

that idiot doesn't know what humour is.

I'll nail to the wall,

I'll make him rot in chains.

Calm down... relax, relax... calm down,

we too have our wrongs,

we know the artist needs a certain kind of

crowd in which to express himself.

Frankly it isn't that we, with the girls,

there, did not give them the ideal...

- Bullshit, you can't dictate Art

- hang on, I've got an idea...

suppose we... were able to find

him a woman so that...

they can stay together...

in orderto...

to create. That's would be allright.

I know a girl... hang on,

I'm coming right away. Hang on...

Hey there my dear artist how fare thee eh.

Come here. You seem a little exhausted...

why not look for some fun.

Come with me.

I know this quiet spot, come...

good get in here.

Eh eh...

YOU understood exactly what

the problems is. It's a boy you'll see...

It will be easy like drinking a glass of water.

You get into the piano and then...

the rest will come.

Quick, Quick, Quick...

Hallo everybody

Our bad orchestra, the big piano

and our artist. I recommend...

try to help him.

Hey shall I come... or not

Get ready forthe next number,

I think it's going to be a spicy one.

A Vivaldi concerto.

Aren't you laying it on a bit thick?

Yes, yes perhaps, o.k.

enough for now,

yes yes, let's go...

let's go...

These old pianos there're some

inconveniences. Unfortunately you know

when you go inside but you don't know

when you'll come out...

If you don't start to make

me laugh I swear

I'll turn you inside out and

skin you like a cat!

But yes, can't you see,

now he turns his face over.

I hope so. On the contrary

I'll change it...

Yes of course, he is happier now.

Much happier, look at his eye

- I tear his eye...

- Noo...

you will see the next number will be

wonderful, get ready. The curtain falls.

The curtain falls.

[Laughing]

Help... Help...

I'll show you. I take that piano player

and I throw her on your head

and I'll break all your bloody bones now.

Nothing, Nothing has happened,

just a minor misunderstanding,

some minor insignificant.

Leave her! I said nothing has...

get out of the way, away with that minor.

Minor misunderstanding,

nothing, nothing, nothing has happened!

The next one is one of the

most famous pieces

the well-known Stravinsky's Firebird...

Stravinsky's Bird, Stravinsky.

Silence! A really famous piece

composed by Stravinsky as he walked

the wild woods at the foot of

a still active volcano, and has

he strolled along, a red-feathered

bird struck his eyes in welcomed surprice

and its fiery'red colours won

his imagination, he looked to the volcano

and then to the big bird...

And then to his lips murmured

-FIREBIRD-

Leave me, leave me, I don't have

the medical assistance...

damned let me go, let me go down

Nothing, nothing has happened,

the Maestro had to let's say...

temporarily excuse himself,

but he'll be back presently...

the show goes on.

Well, eh excuse us for

a little while longer,

some minor delay, we'll quickly resume

with Strawinsky's Firebird,

of course whithout question

the show must go on,

or as the French would say,

eh... I'oiseau doit chanter, the Bird,

the FIREBIRD WILL SING!

Ah! A snake...

Stop! were are you going.

Come back damned old bags...

it's only a snake!

We've got the anti-viper serum...

we must finish the film you can't

go away now... bastards...

Dirty bastards...

Here, here we are, a different finale,

a not-so-grand finale that we expected,

a finale without orchestra,

without the Maestro,

without music...

an entirely new thing.

Luckily we still have with us

our artist our designer...

Our... Our...

What are you doing...

Where are you going, come back,

I'm coming back too,

don't leave me all alone...

wait for me... take me with you...

damned damnation...

we need... we need a finale...

a finale...

Hello, hello will you

please bring me a finale...

what, you mean to tell me

you don't have any...

come on a theatre equipped the right way

should have shelves full of finales...

ljust need a finale, quick, quick!

Finale...

We're finished, it's the bitter end

Girls, ready now. Stravinsky's Firebird.

- All done, all done

- So all we need is a finale

That too is already taken care of...

You can go back down there

- But then, so we're unemployed now.

- Yes Unemployed, unemployed...

till the next film,

I've got a great idea in mind...

a real shocker a love story.

- A love story?

- Yes, but not typical love story, no

this one's a bit more complicated,

many characters involved...

at least eight protagonists...

- Eight?

- Yes, but not what you think...

it isn't four men and four women...

something new is needed,

like one gal and seven guys...

It seems to me like an

expensive undertaking.

Well then, to save, we'lljust get 'em

short, maybe some midgets...

Boy, what an image that

brings to mind...

Yeah, what a scene... I can just see

it now, seven indefatigable workers,

seven admirable midgets working hard

in a coal mine, why not?

I can see them now,

rumbling about like frogs,

happy as can be... lalala... lala

The title is... have you got

something in your mind?

That's easy, if you considerthe

effect scene it could be let's say...

Snowwhite into the forest but...

let's start now.

Let's keep quite we

shouldn't tell it around

No! Why not?

Because it isn't easy to write a script,

somebody could copy the idea...

you can't trust people, they might change

the title, emphasize the sex and then...

call it... let's say

Snowwhite and seven midgets and we...

we are cheated!

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