Almost Christmas Page #10

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to miss this old house.

Yeah.

Hmm.

When I

proposed to Grace,

I knew I was going

to do everything I could

to give her

the best life possible.

Sometimes I...

Sometimes I think

I didn't do enough.

I really didn't think

it was possible.

But you really are dumber

than you look.

You know,

I've performed with some

of the greatest entertainers

to ever grace a stage.

And I've dined atop

of the Eiffel Tower

as the lights shined as

bright as a thousand stars.

Even got drunk

in a pub in Denmark

with the Count of Rosenberg.

He was a huge fan.

That was when I was on that

Sly and the Family Stone tour.

Mmm-hmm.

Remember that one?

Little Sister.

Yes.

Yes, indeed.

You know,

I'm living

my happily ever after.

And because of you

and with you,

my beautiful sister

got to live

her happily ever after, too.

Yes, she did.

How you like it?

That's Turkish coffee.

Got that on the Chaka Khan tour.

Tell Me Something Good, 1982!

Best coffee I ever had.

Yes, indeed.

You know what?

We ain't tried your pie, Walter.

Maybe it's for the best.

No.

How bad could it be?

Well. Well, we gonna see.

I'm tryin' to scoop

that piece out of there.

You put this together, Walter. Now,

let's see what we're dealing with.

I'll be damned.

Well, wait a minute,

Walter. Damn!

You ain't gonna eat

all of it! Give me some.

There's a little crust there.

Hey!

Hey, Cheryl! Sonya!

Come on.

Rachel, come on. All of you!

Come on down here

and get some of this pie!

I did it!

I did it!

I'ma get some more of this

Turkish coffee for everybody.

Okay, then.

Hey! Come and get

some of this pie! I did it!

Come on, all of you!

Hey, Christian, all of you!

Hey, Cheryl! Evan! Rachel!

Nuts.

Am I tasting your nuts?

You feeling like that,

Rachel? Huh?

'Cause I'm every woman.

I ain't scared of you, Aunt May.

Well, then bring...

B*tch!

Cut. Cut!

Okay, Santa.

I'm going back in, baby.

How do you like that?

Too much, Santa?

Hold on, now.

To wash it all down, some milk

tea with boiled tapioca balls.

We don't put balls in our mouth.

Not necessarily.

Aunt May studied tae kwon do

in a dojo in Taipei,

and they called me

Sensei Titty Chop.

You know why they called me that?

Because I chops b*tches' titties.

Ask Tina Turner about me.

I can always kick her ass. One time,

I had to titty-chop that b*tch.

Well, I'ma tell you, you can't

have none of this ass, Lonnie.

If you were biting your wife's ass some

more, maybe y'all have a happier marriage.

Bite it, lick it,

whatever you need to do.

She look unhappy

as sh*t out there,

worrying about do the fish

have goddamn teeth.

Baby, do I bite your ass?

Every night.

You heard that?

My bags are in the car.

Mmm-mm.

My bags aren't in the damn car.

They in the driveway. Okay?

That's where my sh*t is.

And because I ain't had

my medication,

I don't know what I'm saying,

goddamn Walter.

Damn!

You could just have something rolled for

me or something when I come to visit.

That's why you killed

my damn sister off.

Because you

don't treat her right.

Sh*t!

Cut.

All right, cut! Cut!

Cut! Cut. Let's do it again.

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