Almost Christmas Page #9

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I never get to see stuff.

Sonya, you gotta take

more control.

This is not fair.

Be on back.

Is that oil?

I Skyped you.

- Thank you.

- Wait for me.

All right. Here we go.

Your Grandma Cheryl.

It's obvious that

she misunderstood...

Thanks.

What I said.

You said your grandmother was sick,

and you had to take care of her.

And I love that about you, babe.

- Just shut up.

- So proud of you.

Where is she? I would love

to meet your grandma.

I'd love to meet Grandma Cheryl.

No, baby. You don't want

to meet Grandma Cheryl.

You know what?

I'll get Grandma.

Baby.

Aunt May going to ask you

not to go get Grandma.

Don't disturb Grandma.

I think it's the perfect time

for it.

I'ma ask that

you let Grandma rest

because every time Grandma come out,

something different starts to happen.

We don't have to impress

nobody with Grandma.

Walter, your old ass need

to do something.

Now, you sitting there like

you don't hear this sh*t.

Lonnie,

you don't want her

to get Grandma.

Christian.

Let's go in the kitchen.

How about that?

I'm good.

Sonya.

Auntie May, let's go

make some kimchi balls.

Hey, Lonnie. Can't help you.

Baby, did I say something wrong?

You said a lot of things wrong.

You want to meet Grandma?

Well, here she is.

- Don't shoot me!

- Wait a minute.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

Cheryl! Cheryl! Wait!

Give me that gun!

You all knew who Grandma was!

That's not Grandma!

This is ridiculous!

Somebody say something!

Lonnie, what the hell

is going on?

Shut up!

I'm his wife, you dumb b*tch.

Who you calling a dumb b*tch?

You! You dumb b*tch, young

b*tch, silly b*tch, dead b*tch.

She got the gun, b*tch.

Lonnie, if you're going to bring

b*tches in here, bring a smart b*tch.

Give me that rifle,

and give it to me right now!

Stay out of this, Christian.

Christian, get her!

I'm too old for this sh*t.

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Christian, stop her.

Cheryl, please! No, no, no!

Cheryl, drop the gun.

Cheryl, you're not going

to shoot me.

You're not going to shoot me outside

in front of all these people.

- Cheryl, please!

- Enough!

- Walter.

- Okay. That's enough.

Sh*t! You shot me!

Cheryl, please. Enough.

She's the best shot

in the family, Lonnie.

If she wanted to shoot

your ass, she would have.

Come on.

I'm taking the gun now.

Give it to him, baby.

Let me have it.

I got you.

We all got you.

We all got you, all right?

Something happened

to Uncle Evan!

What?

Evan's going to be fine.

Thank God.

He's a little banged up,

but very lucky.

We still need to run a few more tests,

but he should be okay to go home.

I don't need...

Any help.

I know.

I can't believe this is

how we're going to remember

our last Christmas in the house.

At least Evan's okay.

Cheryl...

What I did...

No matter what,

no matter how I felt,

it was awful.

Yeah, it was.

I'm sorry.

No.

You probably did me a favor.

Lonnie had a wandering eye

and a wandering everything else.

He wasn't going to change.

And he refused to floss.

But as much as I want to blame

Lonnie for everything,

I probably could have been

a little less...

Overbearing?

Controlling.

You're also ambitious

and generous

and the smartest woman

that I know.

I always wanted to be like you.

You wanted to be like me?

Yeah! You're my big sister.

Of course.

I was always jealous of you.

I mean, Mom and Dad always let you

just figure it out on your own.

Highly overrated.

I was jealous of you

because you never had to.

Also overrated.

So, what are you going to do?

I don't know.

Maybe you could help me

with my divorce?

If you ever get that law degree.

You can't help yourself,

can you?

I just can't.

Just gotta... You know?

Learned this one.

I earned it.

How you doing?

Okay.

Yeah.

Quite an accident, huh?

Being high on pain pills

probably didn't help.

Mom's never going

to see me graduate,

never see me in pros,

get married,

have my first kid.

She was supposed

to be my date to the draft.

We talked about what we was

going to wear and everything.

I know you're missing

your mother.

She was always there for you.

Yeah.

Yeah, she was.

She was always cheering

the loudest.

Every time I caught the ball.

Every time I dropped the ball, she

still was cheering the loudest.

Every moment in my life,

my mother was there for me.

The one time...

The one moment

that she needed me,

I was not there for her.

Evan.

You were exactly

where she wanted you.

Watching you do what you love

is what she loved.

I mean, she's still watching you

and loving every minute of it.

It's not fair.

It's not. I know.

But numbing the pain

doesn't make it go away.

Neither does selling the house.

Without

your mother,

it's like...

It's like

learning to walk again.

Though...

I guess we're gonna

both have to learn together.

There they are. Managing

directors of Brigham's.

They just want to meet you

before they leave town.

It's not a big deal.

Let's just get it over with.

All right?

Let's get it over with.

Come on. Smile.

Walter, I'm so glad

you could make it.

We needed you more

than ever this year.

I think I needed you even more.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

- That is so true.

- I tell ya.

Because the truth is, we are going

to make more money than anybody.

It's going to make people sick.

And you, my man...

We're going to take you

to the White House.

Yes, sir. I'm not joking.

Don't think I'm playing.

Our prime purpose in life

is to help people.

And if we cannot help them, at

the very least, don't hurt them.

You're going to be happy.

And you, my man,

are going to be happy.

Right?

I can't do this.

I'm serious. We can take

it to the top. What?

I believe it. I know we can.

Have a good evening, gentlemen.

Merry Christmas and God bless.

I'm not allowing this place

to go without a fight.

Don't worry, Pop.

You won't be fighting alone.

You see this old man

skimping on your dressing?

Come on, Pop.

That's more like it.

Merry Christmas to you.

Thank you.

I love you, Pop.

I love you, son.

"If you're going to help me

with my divorce,

"you gotta finish law school

first. Cheryl."

Wow.

Is this Grandmaster Munchie

Mega Mellow Mix, Volume 7?

It's Mellow Mega Mix, Volume 8.

The one I made just for you.

That was a good mix tape.

It was.

What are you doing?

We missed out on something

special 20 years ago.

And I'll be damned

if I let that happen again.

So, I was wondering,

if you're not busy tonight

will you let me take you

to the prom?

Rachel?

Rachel?

Just gonna leave me

out here like that?

I was digging through my mother's attic

for two hours looking for this tape.

Munchie? You

making a lot of noise out there...

Ma, go to bed!

This is crazy.

She ain't never gonna change.

Damn.

Damn.

It's Cheryl's.

I kind of barbecued mine

after, you know...

May I have this dance?

Yeah.

It's gonna be a terrible night.

Absolute worst.

Talk about going out

with a bang.

Yeah.

I sure am going

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