Almost Friends Page #3

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I was in the neighborhood, so...

Okay. Yeah, I'm really

busy right now.

It's getting

really hectic, so...

Mmm.

- Right.

- Yeah.

See you later.

Okay.

Take care.

Now that wasn't

too awkward or anything.

I want a shower

just witnessing that.

Charlie!

Hey, I get off

at 6:
00 tomorrow.

I'm gonna meet

a friend downtown,

but maybe you wanna walk me there?

If you're in the neighborhood?

Yeah.

You're the man.

Oh, yeah.

People like you.

Girls like you.

Girls like you.

And they would if you

knew more of them,

but you live with your parents.

You're a loser.

No. Come on!

Come on, Charles!

You're a good, humble guy.

Admitting you're humble while

staring at yourself in the mirror

is probably the least

humble thing you can do

but you just gotta relax. Relax!

You live a completely

normal life.

You just gotta have

a little bit of pride.

Have some pride.

Have some pride.

Have some...

Have some...

Have some pride!

Oh, hey, hon. Sorry.

Forgot my towel on the bed.

I walk almost everywhere.

Helps me think.

What do you think about?

I guess I think about all I could

get done if I stopped thinking.

- Oh.

- What?

No, that's original.

I mean, even if it is annoyingly

self-defeating. No offense.

But, no, I just thought you

were gonna pull out some crap

about how all you think about

are cute animals or world peace.

Or something like that.

Oh, you mean you

didn't catch that?

That little pretentious bit

was supposed to be a metaphor

for how much

I like cute animals.

- And world peace.

- And world peace.

In fact, I want world

peace for all animals.

And I'm doing this Noah's ark project

next month if you wanna help.

It should only take 40 days

and 40 nights or so.

Right. After 40,

your ark's built, no?

Or 80, yeah, but who's counting?

- I'm not counting.

You been here before?

Yeah. Yeah, a few times.

When I was a kid it was my dream

to have my own restaurant.

Not anymore?

Uh, I don't know.

Can you cook?

Uh... that's what they tell me.

I wish I could cook.

I can't even make cereal.

- Or coffee.

- A**hole.

Wait. So how come you work at a movie

theater instead of a restaurant?

Sensitive subject?

No, not really. I just...

I don't have all

the answers yet.

Where do you live?

I live off Charles street.

- Oh, yeah.

- With my cousin. Yeah.

Well, my family's in Florida. They moved

last year because of my dad's work,

but I decided to stay here

so I could finish high school,

and I could also stay with Brad.

How long have you been together?

Almost four years. Yeah.

Now that I think of it, I don't think

I've been single since grade school.

It doesn't surprise me.

You know what's

strange about you?

On one hand,

you're painfully shy

and on the other hand, you say these things

that I don't think I could ever say.

- Things like what?

- Like what you just said.

I mean, it's not a bad thing.

You're just different.

Different.

You know what I mean.

Different. No, I can live

with that. Different.

Different.

I'm gonna say... maybe.

Maybe. Yeah.

- Well.

This is it. Thanks for the walk.

Oh, no, no. Anytime.

Would it be out of line

to ask for your number?

How about you give me yours?

Here you go.

Okay. Cool. I had fun today.

Yeah, me too.

We should do it again.

Yeah, um...

Okay, I don't know how to say this

without sounding like an ass, but...

Oh, no. You have a boyfriend who you love,

and we are only gonna be friends. I get it.

There's no expectations.

- Sweet. Okay.

- Really.

I'll call you.

Hey.

Who was that?

Oh, just a regular. We were both

walking in the same direction.

He's kind of cute.

- You think?

- Yeah, kind of.

Oh, this is a bold

choice right there.

Do you have any truffle salt?

I'm going out for a bit.

What are you staring at?

I'm sorry. Looking at you

makes me feel young again.

- How long are you staying for?

- Just a little while.

I made arrangements to be out during

the day, so I won't get in your way.

- Good. Bye, honey.

- Bye.

Won't even look at me.

Just give her a break.

One, please.

Application, that is.

Nine-fifteen, ten-fifteen.

This guy can't seem to hold a

job for more than two months.

Just give him a chance.

I'll vouch for him.

You owe him a favor?

No, just one of those things.

Cryptic. You'll train him?

All right you little prick.

Our journey ends here.

Today, your ass is mine.

- Hey!

- Sh*t! What?

You want the job or not?

All right.

So, popcorn. Easy, huh?

But if they want butter, you give two

squirts in the middle, three on top.

Any more, and we have to

charge 20 cents extra.

Did you know that emus

are the only animals

that willingly have sex

with humans when seduced?

Think about that.

- Are you thinking about it?

- No, not really.

Think red, think red, think red.

Hey, this is Brad. Sorry I can't

get to the phone right now.

Hey. Hey, Brad, it's me. Amber.

Give me a call.

Hi, this is Leslie. I can't

get to the phone right now,

so leave a message

and I'll get back to you.

Hey, Leslie, it's Amber.

Call me.

Amber, hey.

How are you?

I'm okay. Okay.

What are you doing tonight?

Tonight I'm...

Just making some dinner and...

You are? What are you eating?

Um...

So how do you two

know each other?

- Oh...

- From my work.

I work at a coffee shop.

Oh, no kidding! Me too.

When I was a kid

I worked at a coffee shop.

Here we go.

We were known as the best

cup of Joe in Brooklyn.

"You want good Joe?

It's the place you gotta go."

You grew up in Georgia.

I know where I grew up.

I'm just trying to spice up

the story a bit. Jesus Christ.

- This is really good.

- Oh, thanks.

Kid's a genius in the kitchen.

Like you would know.

Amber, let me show you

what Charlie won

in a big state-wide cooking

competition a couple of years ago.

It was city-wide. I didn't win.

I just came in second.

Mom!

Oh, wow!

- How about it, huh?

- -Yeah.

It's got his name on it

and a medal.

That's nice.

And one of the judges, Trevor...

- I forget his last name.

- Trevor Vanier.

Well, he writes for this major

cooking magazine in New York.

He came up to Charlie afterwards

and told him that he thought

he was one of the most talented

amateur chefs he'd ever seen.

- He gave me a medal.

- -Yeah.

- How about it?

- Yeah.

And then what?

Well, he gave Charles

his number.

And said he was all ears

if he ever wanted to talk.

But I never called. We know.

Thank you, mom. I'm an a**hole.

Language!

- Steven Jacobs!

- Put that down.

You don't tell my son

what to do.

Probably learned

the behavior from you.

- What did you say?

- What? No, nothing.

- Guys.

- Steven, put it down!

Well, don't be so hard

on the kid. He's just a kid.

You make the rules

in your own house!

Steven, come on.

Give it to me.

Hey. Not the lady.

Just take me.

- Oh, that's nice. Both of you.

That's very nice. That was

academy award-winning material.

Amber, I'm sorry, sweetie.

Come on.

I'm really sorry about what happened

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