Almost You Page #2

No.

Happy down there.

Yeah. Sure.

How's Erica?

When is she coming home?

Actually, she got back

last night.

So, does she limp or what?

She has a therapist.

She limps.

I knew it!

- Mel.

- All right.

Alex, we've thought

hard about this.

Oh, look, I can explain

about that Bresnig thing. I...

- Shhh!

- Sit.

Sit. Sit. Sit!

As I was saying, we've thought hard

and long about this.

- Right. We think it's the best thing.

- Yep.

You've done a wonderful job. You've

learned the ropes down there on the floor.

But we think

the time has come...

- for you tojoin us up here.

- What?

- Mm-hmm.

- Vice president.

From now on,

you'll be working right up here with us.

Right here where we

can keep an eye on you.

That is very kind of you...

but... I'm very happy

where I am downstairs.

And they need me down there.

They really do.

I... I just think

it's too early.

I wouldn't be able

to appreciate it.

I... I'm not ready.

I... I... I couldn't possibly...

Alex, you are ready.

Trust me. I can tell.

- You're far too modest.

- We ordered a desk for you this morning.

- Oak.

- Yeah.

What... What will

I have to do?

- Everything.

- Oh.

Your father

would be very proud.

I really don't

wanna do it.

If you'll just let me show you,

you'll see that this one is not so bad.

Why don't you leave me alone?

Can't you see I'm just a poor cripple?

Oh, Erica,

stop exaggerating.

You're fine. Calling yourself a cripple

is just a defense mechanism.

I was just kidding.

Lie down.

Ow! Wait!

Of course you're afraid.

It's perfectly normal.

Injuries like yours

can be very traumatic.

That's very deep.

Do you charge extra for the analysis,

or is part of the package?

Knees up.

Okay, now, first, we're going

to go slowly to your left.

- Ow.

- And back.

- Now to your right.

- Ow. Ow!

- That didn't hurt.

- It didn't?

- What is going on here?

- Alex!

Alex, I'd like you to meet

the grand inquisitor.

Lisa, this is

my husband, Alex.

- Hello. - You know, this might

sound really stupid...

but haven't I seen you

somewhere before?

God, Alex.

What an inventive opener.

I'm serious.

She looks familiar.

I think I've seen you

at Reedy's.

- Maybe that's it.

- Reedy's?

Wait a minute. You told me Reedy's

was a gay bar. No women allowed.

I lied.

Well, don't be fooled by her face.

She's vicious.

I think that's enough for today.

Would you be happier

with someone else?

Why? Alex and I are very happy together.

That's not what I meant.

What I meant was, would you

prefer another nurse?

Maybe someone older or something?

I'm not sure I can help.

Oh, no, no, no. No, please.

Come back tomorrow.

Really.

I was just kidding around.

I'm always like this.

I'll knuckle under.

Please?

- Okay.

- Great.

- Let me get your coat.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

I knew you looked familiar.

Do you go there a lot?

Not so much anymore.

It's not that

I'm so happy downstairs...

but it's going to be so much worse

with them upstairs.

I don't understand.

I thought you'd reconciled

yourself to the place.

Well, you're not eating it.

I just want you to know that if they find

my body somewhere...

and there's a suicide note with all sorts

of stuff about Chinese food...

you should know that it had nothing

to do necessarily with you.

I just want you to know now

so that later, when you've remarried...

you can sleep easier

knowing that this incident...

was just one

in a whole series of indignities...

that I... I associate,

rightly or wrongly...

with Oriental cuisine.

Are you all right?

Alex, come on.

It is not

the end of the world.

Give yourself a break. You're the boss now.

Maybe you'll like it.

If I start to like it...

you have my permission to shoot me

with the family Luger.

I think

you're overreacting.

Overreacting?

In my wildest dreams, I...

- I'm going out.

- Alex!

Alex, wait a minute!

You know, let's face it.

Since I have been

back from the hospital...

Oh, never mind.

Just go out.

What do you say

we go out later and have a drink?

Reedy's maybe?

We can talk.

I can't. We're dress-rehearsing.

I told you.

Again?

All night?

Yes, at night.

I explained all that.

Yeah, well,

I'm going out anyway.

Hey, don't get mad.

Get even.

How long have I

been coming here?

I don't know.

A couple of years.

And I wouldn't even

consider going to another bar.

You're a true-blue.

Hey.

- How are you?

- Hello!

How about that?

Well, pull up a chair.

- Can I have a 7 and 7, please?

- Sure.

- So you've survived Erica?

- Oh, sure.

A nurse.

That's what I need.

She tell you about the apartment?

How we call it the nursery?

Yeah, she told me.

You got a nice apartment.

So, you want to, uh,

see if they have any tables?

And then

what happens?

And then the sun breaks.

"Wakes,"Kevin.

Not "breaks. " "Wakes. "

I said "wakes" that time.

- He said "breaks," didn't he?

- He said "breaks. "

- There you go.

- Okay, look.

I'm just a little

preoccupied, all right?

Why don't you go to the next scene

without me? I'll be back in a few minutes.

This is supposed to be

a dress rehearsal.

A dress rehearsal? You don't even have

the goddamned costumes ready yet!

All right. Uh, why don't

you take a break?

And cool off!

I think you're, uh...

outrageously funny.

I do. There's just

something amusing about you.

This is it.

I don't see a candle burning

in the window.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Hey, yo! Whoa.

I want to talk to you.

- Speak to my secretary.

- Oh, you're a riot.

Look. I'm making

an effort here.

You could at least

give me credit for that.

Oh, you want a receipt?

Oh, "You want a receipt?" That's a good one.

Where are you picking up these classics?

Milton Berle

break his leg or something?

Oh, Lis!

Come on. What is it?

Lisa!

You know,

I just look at us.

Frankly, I don't see any future.

Oh, please. Are you saying that

because you don't see the future...

- or because you think I don't

really see it? - What?

I mean, is it you who

doesn't want any future...

or are you just worried that

I don't want what you want?

- You follow?

- Barely.

'Cause I see nothing

but future.

You're always saying

that's the problem, right...

- that I count too much on the future.

- You do.

Look. This isn't the time to sit around

pasting photos in the album.

This is the time when

I make a name for myself.

And you're supposed to

want that too.

- Not make things harder.

- Ha, ha, ha, ha.

What is it I want anyway

since you're the expert?

Do I really wanna keep house

with an unsuccessful actor...

for five more years?

In more civilized times, actors weren't

even allowed within the city limits.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Or they were buried at the crossroads

in unmarked graves or...

I don't remember.

Oh, you don't seem to

get the picture, do you?

I'm the only one who can

give you what you want.

How? When? Where?

- Sooner than you think.

- Oh, great.

You must think

I'm really some pushover.

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