Almost You Page #3

You must think I'm pretty thick

if you think I'm gonna wait at home...

for you to make

People magazine.

Forget it. I tried.

And you didn't.

- Alex.

- Hi. Hi. Hi.

- How are you?

- You going to work?

- Yes, I am. I had a good time last night.

- Yeah. Me too.

Well, I better go inside.

Oh, yeah.

She's expecting you.

Bye.

Hello.

Mr. Boyer...

You're number six. Could you

fill this out and sit down, please?

Are you here for the job?

Yeah.

The job.

- What's going on?

- "What's going on"? Your replacement.

You gotta do the interviews.

You gotta pick somebody.

- That's impossible.

- Impossible?

They put it

in the papers, man.

- It's all in the paper. They put

an ad yesterday. - You do it.

Sorry, sir. Orders.

- John Andrews.

- That's right.

- Uh, the accounting division of

Carter and Havens? - Mm-hmm.

M.B.A. From Fordham.

Seller at Wintergreen.

What's that?

Oh, specialized grain sales.

Mostly to underdeveloped countries.

And what happened there?

They relocated.

I thought I'd give

banking a try, but...

Look. I'm afraid you just

wouldn't be happy here.

You're just way too overqualified

for a job like this.

That's not true.

I'm not. Not at all.

I'm sorry.

I'm not overqualified.

I swear.

I don't know anything

about... fabrics or sportswear.

Nothing. Go ahead. I swear.

Ask me a question. Ask me something.

Anything.

I won't know the answer.

I don't know a thing. Really.

I'm sorry. I...

I wish I could

believe that.

Thank you.

- I am sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- It's a nice suit at least.

- No.

Listen, will you

hurry up with this, huh?

We got something for you

to start with right away.

Upstairs. It's a big government deal.

Just like the old days.

And you can have it

from start to finish...

- if you just move your buns.

- Not flags again?

What flags? Better.

Uniforms, huh?

No problems with color mix-ups.

So move it, eh?

Okay. Next.

Kevin Danzig.

You've worked

mainly as... an actor.

First actor all morning.

Frustrated by the irregular hours

I suppose.

No.

Look, you wanna

have a seat?

Oh.

So you take sugar

in this?

No, I don't.

It's cold.

Getting back to business...

- Did you go to college?

- Didn't.

So you don't have

a business degree?

No, sir. I don't.

Any experience at all

in the fashion world?

Oh, wait. Oh, uh...

What was that?

No.

So, what is it?

Just wild about textiles?

Wanted to give it a shot

before it's too late?

- Excuse me?

- Why do you want this job?

Well, I was wondering...

Why don't you tell me

what you do here...

and then I'll tell you

if I wanna do it.

You're kidding me, right?

You're researching

a role or something, right?

- Like Robert De Niro?

- What?

No, no. That's great.

Are you gonna play a guy like me?

You really think somebody's gonna make

a movie about a place like this?

Well, maybe.

I mean, there could be.

It needs something,

I admit.

Three.

Four.

I wanted to be a nurse once.

- Five.

- I used to take my dolls...

and bash their heads against the wall

or throw them out the window.

- Six.

- Then I'd rush to them and comfort them...

and nurse them

back to health.

- Seven.

- Being a real nurse is easier, I expect...

since you only have to

take care of people.

- Eight.

- They can hurt themselves on their own.

I never thought of it

that way.

Nine.

My nursing period

didn't last very long.

No, no, no, no. I'd love to come.

I really would.

- When is it?

- Okay, wait, wait, wait. It's, uh...

Okay, tomorrow night at

the Theater for the New City.

- Got this?

- Uh-huh.

- Second Avenue.

- Second...

And it's called

Yo, Keats.

Yo, Keats.

Great. I'll come.

God, that's great.

You know, I think I always

wanted to be an actor myself actually.

- Or a hockey player.

- Hey, what's happening, man?

You got 10 people

out there, man...

stinking up

the goddamn reception room.

Would you do

something about it?

So, Alex...

What do you work in a place

like this for anyway?

Hey, women's clothing

is my life, okay?

What a life.

- Hey, you know what I say?

- What?

- "Work just doesn't work for me. "

- I like that.

- Real nice meeting you.

- It was great.

- We should have a drink sometime.

- When?

I sit here.

We'll put Maggie here.

David, where you are.

And Alex at the head

and you over there.

- You sure you want me to stay?

- Yes.

I have to prove to you

I'm not an ogre.

Hi. I got everything.

Oh, Isabel called.

She and Mark can't come.

- So we'll only be four.

- Five.

- Oh.

- Six.

- I invited somebody from work.

- Oh.

Six.

I enjoyed last night.

- It was fun.

- Me too.

I'm gonna go help.

- Hello.

- Hiya, Alex. How you doing?

Oh, you dressed for us.

We appreciate it.

- Nice to see you.

- Yeah, you too. Both of you.

- My hat.

- Erica!

- Bottle.

- Oh, how nice!

Oh!

Oh.

Thank you.

- You look great.

- Ugh!

No, I mean it.

You're home!

What's with

the chair?

It helps me get around.

Hi, David.

Erica! Hi! How are you?

Comfortable?

Oh, Lisa... nurse.

This is Maggie and David.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi, Lisa Nurse.

- Hello.

- So how about a drink?

- Oh, yeah.

All right.

But... But that

sounds great.

No, it's not great.

It's terrible.

They're priming me to

take over the entire company...

so that they can retire

and go to Florida.

So? It's a family business.

- You don't understand this at all.

- Oh, come on.

Hey, relax. Look.

I got you something here.

Here it is.

This isn't it.

- Yep. Here we go.

- Oh, God!

- No, just listen to this. - Not your

cancer checklist again. You're sick.

"Does the slightest criticism send you

into a deep depression?"

- Yes.

- Yes, okay. Five points.

Narcissistic disorders.

"Is anything less than everything

a disappointment?"

- Yes.

- Yes. Okay. 10 points.

- This is very accurate.

- You're very sick.

Not according

to this. Okay.

So, when are you gonna

go back to work?

- I may have something for you.

- I kinda feel like taking it easy.

Come on.

You can work at home.

I don't know.

- What's up?

- Nothing.

God, what is all this

talk about work?

Work, work,

work, work, work.

I mean,

I was almost killed.

Okay.

You know?

Anyway, what is this news,

this surprise you have?

Are you sure

you're well enough?

We're getting married.

Boom, that's it.

I mean,

it's no big deal.

I mean, we're already an institution.

You're getting married?

- It's no big deal.

- Aaah!

They're getting married!

You're getting married?

It's no big thing.

We're already on our second dog.

Alex, did you hear?

They're getting married.

Yeah.

- Yeah. Congratulations.

- Thanks.

- Kevin!

- Alex, how you doing?

- This is Jeannie. We're in a show together.

- Hi.

- Hope you don't mind. - Not as long as

you have separate dressing rooms.

No, no, no. I mean,

that I brought her along.

No, no, no. We got

an extra seat and everything.

This is Kevin.

He's a friend of mine from work.

This is Jeannie.

This is my wife, Erica.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes