Almost You Page #6

the conclusion that, uh, I quit.

- What?

- I think it's best for me and the company if I just left.

There's no future

for me here.

- It just isn't right!

- You can't just leave.

- Why?

- Why? Because we're family.

Uncle Mel, we do not live

in prehistoric times.

I can love you as family, but that

doesn't mean I have to work for you.

Yes, it does. I mean, you don't

work for us... You do work for us...

I mean, we wor...

We all work together.

You know, it's as much

your company as it is ours.

- What do you mean?

- I mean, on paper.

- On paper?

- On paper.

It's destiny, Alex.

That's what it is.

So, don't f*** with fate.

You'll get hurt.

Why is all this news to me?

It's not news to you. We told y

ou when your fath... You know.

- Yeah, but I didn't think that that

meant... - Sure, you were stunned.

I understand. You were dazed.

You were thinkin'about other things.

Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize it then either.

So, let me tell you now...

you're a partner in this company.

You can't be fired,

and you can't quit.

Okay?

- I can't quit.

- Alex, I know how you feel.

It's the worst part

about growing up, I guess.

You know, we're not as free

as we thought we were.

Wejust can't do

whatever we want to do.

- I'll sell.

- What?

- I'll sell!

- So, sell.

Who you gonna sell it to?

Good luck, Charlie.

- Stu?

- Yeah?

- Why are you doing this to me?

- Alex, what do you want?

- I want out.

- That's what you don't want.

You don't wanna work here.

But tell me what you want.

- I can't even explain it to you.

- Why?

- I wouldn't understand? - No,

you wouldn't. I don't think you would. No.

Oh, boy. What are you trying to do,

give me hemorrhoids?

I got hemorrhoids,

so don't bother.

Listen, I don't want you to do

anything rash, you know what I mean?

So, why don't you

take a week off.

When you come back,

we'll discuss it, huh? Think it over.

Go and write

a short story or something.

Just, uh, get it out

of your system.

What if it takes

more than a week?

Take a month.

Take a month off.

Take three months off

and write a novel or save the world.

Whatever. We'll hold the fort

till you get back.

I don't want three months off, Stu.

I want...

No! You don't know

what you want.

That's the whole

point of this discussion.

So, don't tell me you're leaving,

selling or quitting because I won't let ya.

- I'm gonna say it, Stu.

- Can't hear ya.

- Can't hear ya. I'm singing.

- Stu!

- I'm gonna sing. I'm singing.

- I'm quitting. I'm quitting.

God!

Uncle Stu!

Uncle Stu!

Yeah?

I should at least tell you

who I chose to replace me downstairs.

- Yeah? Who?

- Ralph.

- Ralph who?

- Our Ralph!

Our Ralph? You mean...

But he's just a...

Okay. You're the boss.

- So?

- I really can't explain it.

I just can't be

your nurse anymore.

I can recommend

a new one if you want.

You don't really think

I need one, do you?

Oh, I think you could probably benefit

from a nurse for a while yet.

It just can't be me.

Are you talking

funny today or something?

What is it, Lisa, dear?

You don't like me anymore.

Oh, it has nothing

to do with you.

I think it probably does.

Quite a commotion

here this morning.

Well, I guess that's all.

- Huh?

- If that's your decision...

Right.

Erica?

Erica?

Hi, Alex.

Are you going somewhere?

No, but I thought

you were...

so I packed a bag.

- You what?

- I didn't know where...

so I made kind of

a general selection...

weather-wise.

That's it?

That's it? You're not

gonna say anything?

How's work?

How's work?

I quit that f***in' place.

That's how work is.

I'm leaving there, I'm leaving here,

and I'm leavin'you.

It's your life.

Don't patronize me!

Don't patronize me!

Everybody's doing that!

It is infuriating!

Why don't you get angry?

Get angry!

You don't even

get angry anymore!

You're right. I probably

should get angry...

but, right now, I just

don't have the energy.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey!

What?

You think I'm kidding?

You think you have me

all figured out?

No secrets from Erica?

Well, check this out.

I'm leavin'.

This is me leavin'.

So long. Sayonara.

A bientt. Arrivedrci.

So... Whoa!

I'm not your mother, Alex. I'm not gonna

stop you if you wanna go out and play.

If you wanna go, go!

You're out

of your f***in' mind.

I'm not taking

the blame anymore.

I am sick and tired of hearing how great

your life would've been if it weren't for me!

You don't know how lucky you are.

Why don't you ever

remember the good times?

Like...

Like that time we drove back

from California?

Alex?

Or that time

in New Orleans...

on the roof

during the party.

That was pretty sexy.

I still think about it.

Alex?

I still think about it.

Especially at times like this

when you start to f*** up...

- when you try to spoil everything!

- Oh, goddamn!

- Sh*t.

- Sh*t!

Oh, that's great.

Yeah.

Smash a few things.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- You sh*t.

- Oh, sh*t.

Hey! That was nice.

Ooh! Good one. Yeah.

What? Am I next?

Will you put it down?

What, are you gonna knock my nose off?

Go ahead. Let me have it.

Oh, grow up,

will you?

Give me that.

Yow!

Oh, stop it.

Had enough?

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

I think you cut me.

Oh, Jesus.

Uh... Oh, my God. I'm bleeding.

- It's okay.

- Whoa!

- Oh, God.

- Stop it.

- You're being a baby.

- Yeah, a baby who's bleeding to death.

Okay. Hold your arm up.

Okay.

You're gonna live.

You can put

your arm down now.

Gonna be all right.

You can go now.

What?

You want me to stay?

Do you wanna stay?

I asked you first.

Okay...

You wanna go,

you should go.

Go.

There's an animal going insane somewhere

just because of you.

Just because of this dress that your wearing,

a lion somewhere is jumping into a river...

and you're sipping wine while a bear

might be somewhere just staring...

off into space while the forest

around him is burning.

- I thought you wanted to. What's

the problem? - Lubrication.

- What?

- Lubrication.

You ain't gonna get

what ain't wet.

- - You are

just trying to satisfy your fantasies...

not mine.

You might get what you want,

but you're not gonna get what I want.

I'm sick of

the same old, same old.

Don't you know

what I want?

Say you know what I want.

Say it!

I know what you want.

Get it? You get it?

- Good night, George.

- You're goin' out, Mrs. Boyer?

- Uh-huh.

- But it's just terrible out.

- Here. Let me take that for you.

- No, no. I'm fine. Really.

It really slits my throat

to see you walk away.

It really puts a grenade

in my mouth...

when I hear you say,

"I don't love you anymore.

And this is the good-bye

I should've said before. "

It really blows my feet up

when I'm running after you.

It really drops atomic bombs

on both foot one and two.

My Hiroshima, left.

My Nagasaki, right.

Mushroom clouds

get in my eyes.

My tears are all

that's left of an ocean.

The heat of you leaving dries.

That might work if I was a girl.

Too bad I'm John Keats.

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