Almost You Page #5

So I said to her... And this is a thing

I would never really say.

I go like this...

"I know what you want. "

Oh, you talk tough, but I knew you

were safe. I mean, just look at him.

But I knew she didn't want another number

in her black book...

or something to

write home to Mom about.

She wanted something

to write home to herself about.

Then I said,

"How did you know?"

And it was great,

too, wasn't it?

Are you kidding?

Where do you

get this sh*t? Cosmo?

- Well, I mean, it was just a...

- Fantasy!

I mean, you gotta care about

what they care about.

Their anatomy. How you gonna be

anybody's boyfriend...

if you don't know anything about

being their girlfriend?

I'm not saying you gotta be gay

or anything. You know what I say?

I say,

"I'm just gay about girls. "

I prefer your method.

It's more sincere,

less vulgar.

Kevin's would only work

with certain types.

Now, wait a second.

This was just an act.

Sure.

Anyway, nobody knows what

they really want. Nobody.

Honey, you just said

a f***ing mouthful.

People don't know

what they want.

But I'll bet you...

I'll bet you when

you're about to check out...

you know exactly

what you want.

You want

what you had!

Too late!

When I was lying

in the f***ing street...

I felt so stupid.

I thought...

"God, I blew it!

I had it! And I blew it!"

This is not

a rehearsal, kids.

So, if you don't get

what you want, beat it.

Because all the rest

of this sh*t...

makes me sick!

You didn't see that.

So, uh...

who wants dessert?

- Hi, honey.

- So, how ya doing?

Fine. I'm fine.

Really.

- One last dance, babe?

- Oh...

- Sorry, Romeo. We gotta go.

- No.

Don't bother getting up.

- Welcome home.

- Thanks.

- We'll see you, Erica.

- Okay.

- Cheer up.

- I'm cheerful.

- We're going now. Here we go.

- We're going.

- Good-bye.

- Don't talk to yourself.

- I'm coming.

- Bye. So long.

Oh, good night, Kevin.

Nice to meet ya.

- Good night. Nice to meet you.

- Nice meeting you.

- It was great.

- Honey.

Honey!

- Okay, big guy.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Thanks for coming.

- I ain't gonna do it.

This has been wild.

Can I have that wine back?

It's too late for that.

Thanks for coming.

Kevin! We have to go.

It's getting late.

- Well, good luck on this play.

- Thanks for the party.

- Thank you.

- Hope your wife gets better.

- Oh, so do I.

- So, Alex, great. All too wonderful.

- I'm really glad you could make it.

- Okay, right. I gotta go.

- I'll see you again I hope. All right?

- Thanks for the party.

- Kick ass on this play now.

- All right. We will.

- Come see it.

- Okay.

Well, I'm gonna have a drink.

Would you like one?

Yeah, I want

another drink.

Time for bed.

Okay.

Here's $5.

Seventh and Bleecker, okay?

Hey, wait...

Kevin!

Let's get these things off.

She'll be more comfortable.

- What?

- Let's get these things off.

She'll be

more comfortable.

Let's pick her up.

I'm sorry about this.

- Why?

- Well...

It's just getting

so late, and I...

You probably

wanna go home.

Maybe we shouldn't do this.

Oh, Jesus!

- Oh! Oh.

- Oh, I fell.

- Are you all right?

- Uh-huh.

- I tripped.

- Oh, my God!

She's okay...

I think.

Come on.

I fell down.

Come on.

- I may be going down.

- Shh, shh, shh.

- All right... Ow!

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Let go of the...

Okay, okay.

Yeah. Shh, shh, shh.

All right. Come on. Come on.

Let go. Let go. Let go. Let go.

- What?

- Let go. All right. Never mind.

I can do it.

- There. It's all done.

- Mmm.

- Okay. I'm so thirsty.

- Okay.

Okay.

Uh, I can stay in with her

and make sure she's okay.

No. That's okay.

I will.

- You sure?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

- Why don't you sleep in the other room...

and if there's

a problem, I'll...

I'll just get you.

- Right.

- Okay.

Uh...

I'm gonna sleep

in this room.

- I think that's best.

- I do too.

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Oh. Yes?

Yeah, excuse me. We found this guy

sleeping in the building lobby.

When we rousted him,

he claimed he lives here.

Family troubles.

Is that correct?

- Well, he doesn't live here, no.

- Alex...

- Okay, buddy.

- I mean, I know him.

He's a friend of mine.

He was here last night...

- but, no, he doesn't live here.

- What are you sayin'?

I don't know what I'm saying.

Come in.

I... I just know him.

What's going on, Kevin?

I...

Kevin.

Hello.

- Can I go now?

- Sure.

- Kev!

- Sorry to bother you.

Christ Al...

What's going on?

You're walking.

Okay.

Have you seen my, uh...

What's going on?

What do you mean?

What was she doing here?

She stayed

in the spare room.

I didn't say "where,"

I said "what. "

Don't you remember how f***ed up

you were last night?

I don't remember anything.

Tell me.

Oh, boy.

It was a great party.

I really gotta go.

What a guy.

Kevin?

Hello.

- It's me. I'm comin' right over.

- No. No, no, you can't.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

I'll see ya soon. Bye.

No, wait! Alex!

My cab.

- Five minutes. Five minutes.

- Come on.

- Two minutes! - Two minutes? What

do you mean "two minutes"?

Well, what do you mean

"five minutes"?

I mean that in five minutes...

I'm gonna have you convinced

to come away with me tonight.

- You bought tickets?

- Yeah, well, I did.

- I figured actions speak louder than words.

- Hey, h-hold on a minute here.

We don't have jobs,

and you're not married?

We go away together.

We just see what happens. You don't have

to make any permanent commitment.

You just have to go away...

with me.

What's the matter?

- What's the matter?

- Ha! What's the matter?

- We're in a hurry, right? You have

it all figured out. - Yeah, but...

Here. I don't want to hear

any buts, Alex. Just pack.

But...

Hey! Lisa!

Why are you rushing this?

Why are you doing it

this way?

Last night

you were so...

- And in here you make me so...

- I don't wanna be married anymore.

- And I get to be your excuse?

- No. No.

- You're not taking this seriously enough.

- I am taking this seriously.

You're the one who's turning this

into some kind of theatrical spectacular.

And I don't need that,

I've already got an actor.

Do you and Kevin

live together?

- Yes.

- Oh.

Oh.

So, do you wanna

come away with me now, or what?

- Oh, come on, Alex. You're not listening.

- No, no, no. You're not.

I'm serious. The only way I can do this

is just breaking off all ties...

and going away with you.

Now, if you never want to

see me again, just say so.

Just look at me

and say so.

Great. Okay.

I'm going to Reedy's. 10:30.

Just think about it...

If you're there,

you're there.

Mr. Boyer. Mr. Boyer!

- Mr. Boyer!

- What?

I don't know what

to tell these people.

I... I've told them

to wait, but...

- Who?

- Them.

I've gotta take care of something.

Just tell them to wait a little longer.

Uncle Mel, I have to talk to you

about something very important.

If it's important,

we should wait for Stu.

I've thought it over

and over...

and I've come to

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