Alpha and Omega 5: Family Vacation

---

1

HUMPHREY:
Okay, pups.

As we continue

on our first family vacation

to Alfred Creek Falls,

it's time for my infamous

animal impressions.

(PUPS GROANING)

KATE:
Groans?

(CHUCKLES) Come on, pups.

You used to love

dad's animal impressions.

CLAUDETTE:
(SCOFFS)

Until they got weird.

HUMPHREY:
Weird, Claudette?

STINKY:
Yeah, Dad.

I gotta agree with

Claudette on this one.

I mean,

doing a porpoise impression.

(HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING)

PUPS:
Weird.

Claudette,

why the long face?

Mom, why couldn't

we bring our friends?

We've gone over this,

Claudette.

This is a family vacation.

And our first one together.

(ALL MOUTHING)

KATE:
We get closer

when we have these

shared experiences.

And what do we always say

about a strong family? Huh? Huh?

ALL:
A strong family can

survive almost anything.

She has puppy love.

Puppy love?

Like a boyfriend?

(STAMMERING) Oh...

Wait a minute.

You mean Fleet?

Mom, chill.

He's not my boyfriend,

he's just a friend.

Okay, when you

come to a corner,

plant your front paws

and just let your body slide.

(GRUNTING)

Your turn!

Plant your paws!

Whoa...

(SCREAMING)

Fleet?

Mmm...

(CLAUDETTE MAKING

KISSING SOUNDS)

(EXCLAIMS) Sorry.

I was just, uh,

thinking about

all my great friends!

(SNICKERING)

Did you hear that,

Stinky?

Fleet's just a friend.

Hey, I'm staying

above the fray,

but let me just say,

Fleet is one fast dog.

(SCOFFS)

Especially with

the kissy snout.

Humphrey,

did you hear that?

Mom, stop it.

You're being controlling!

I'm being a parent!

And, Runt, you wanna

lose a patch of fur?

Just keeping it real.

Ha! How's this for real?

(GRUNTING)

You, uh...

Hey!

(CHUCKLING)

Boy, she missed again.

(RUNT LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Well, at least

they're not bored

anymore.

Runt,

you get down here!

(CLAUDETTE GRUNTING)

Claudette, stop it!

Hey, you two,

knock it off!

Oh, she missed again,

and again.

Should have taken

those tree climbing

lessons I offered.

Mom, Dad, may I suggest

some parenting tips?

When I become the leader,

I will create a wolf park,

so the younger ones

can be supervised.

Okay, Runt, come down.

Claudette, stand down,

and, Stinky,

my eldest son,

that was the most

ridiculous idea

I've ever heard.

And, Runt,

what about you?

Constantly hugging

Frieda and Fran,

the porcupines!

Yeah,

that's really normal!

Wait! That's why I'm always

pulling needles out of you?

They never get hugs!

Because they're mean girls!

Oh, they're not mean,

they're just, prickly.

And they wanted to

come on our trip too!

And just to

roll with that,

if I had been able

to bring Brent,

he could have helped

supervise these two.

Oh, great.

All we need is your

grizzly bear bromance

tagging along!

Seriously, Stinky,

Brent is cool,

but he is a hot mess.

He's not a mess.

Huh? He travels with

a porcupine life coach!

(SCOFFS) Hello.

Agnes keeps him chill!

Okay, Runt, you get

down here right now!

And, Claudette,

when we get back,

I'm going to leash Fleet

and tie him to a tree!

And, Stinky,

you know we respect

mixing it up

with all the critters,

but a little bit of Brent

goes a long way.

Also, his grizzly momma

scares the heck out of me.

If I had pants

I would be wetting them.

Seriously, Stinky,

the last time I asked

if you and he could

have a play date,

she growled at me!

Brent and I have big plans

when we lead

the forest one day.

We're gonna merge

the wolf pack with

the bear clan.

Great idea!

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

What do they say

about brilliance

skipping a generation?

Come on, guys,

you love each other.

Claudette, remember

that time you and Stinky

almost died trying

to save Runt?

This is for Runt!

(GRUNTS)

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

(GRUNTING)

KATE:
Stinky!

HUMPHREY:
Stinky!

KATE AND HUMPHREY:

Claudette!

Oh, my gosh. What do we...

Jump! Jump!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Guilt.

BOTH:
Mmm-hmm.

Can we please continue

our lovely family vacation?

(EAGLE SCREECHING)

(SIGHS) Take a look

at that view.

Isn't it something?

Just gorgeous.

(SNIFFING)

What is it, Stinky?

I smell wolves,

coming close.

RUNT:
And your smell

is right again.

Hurry, Julia, hurry!

Wait, wait!

What is going on?

You need

to get out of here!

What? What for?

They're trapping wolves!

Trapping wolves?

They're relocating us.

When the caribou

population dwindled...

Relocating?

Are we seriously

back to that?

Oh, they're taking

away all the forest,

and when the forest goes,

so go the caribou.

They're also

capturing wolf pups!

What?

They're transporting them

to the other side

of the country.

(GASPS) Humphrey and I have

been through this before.

KATE:
Ow!

Where am I?

(GRUNTING)

(HUMPHREY GROANING)

Humphrey,

is that you?

Kate, where are we?

I don't know.

Oh, maybe we're dead.

(BOTH GROANING)

Nope.

Definitely not dead.

Ow!

(SIGHS) Well, at least

they left us some water.

(GRUNTS)

You got water?

Nope,

definitely not water.

Little piece of advice.

If you wake up in a crate,

don't drink the water.

Are they capturing

wolves everywhere?

No, not past the border

or the mountains.

Most of the wolves are

hiding in the mountains.

That's where Liz

and I are going.

(AIRPLANE ENGINE WHIRRING)

Quick,

under the trees.

Now!

They're even shooting

from the air.

But only tranquilizer guns.

"Only tranquilizer guns."

They can do a lot of harm.

KATE:
(GRUNTING)

Oh, you make me so mad!

(GROANING)

Whoa, hey,

I was just kidding.

Huh.

You're kinda cute.

Really? You think?

So... Wow! Okay.

Cute, yeah.

(TALKING GIBBERISH)

That's the... Look.

Thank you, first of all,

but do you mean "cute"

in like a rugged,

kind of handsomely cute...

Yow!

Again with the butt.

(GIGGLING)

These mosquitoes

are out of control.

Ooh. (LAUGHING)

I'll meet you on Mars. Ooh.

Right after I eat

the Milky Way.

Ooh, that sounds good.

(GIGGLING)

Save some for me.

(SNORING)

(HICCUPS)

So how are you two gonna

get to the mountains?

There are too many fields,

you'll be spotted.

We don't have a choice.

They're combing the forest

right behind us.

You and your family

need to hide.

How long is this

gonna go on?

It usually lasts

five moons or so.

We're going for it!

(AIRPLANE FLYING OVERHEAD)

KATE:
Be careful!

Go, go, go!

Oh, no!

Come on, come on!

Kate, the pups!

(GUNSHOTS)

We'll never make

it to the mountains

from here.

Too many fields.

We gotta go across

the border.

Okay, the border.

But, Humphrey,

we still gotta get

across that field!

STINKY:
Wait a minute.

I smell humans coming.

It must be the trappers.

How far is the train?

The train?

It's the fastest way

to the border,

and we did it once.

Yeah, but getting to

it was something else.

(PANTING)

Hey, need a ride?

(GROWLING)

Jump! Trust me!

(KATE SCREAMING)

I told you

you could trust me.

Angle left!

(HUMPHREY LAUGHING)

Roll right!

Yee-haw!

(GROWLING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(WHINING)

Why are you looking

at me like that?

Huh?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Wow. Now that

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes