Alpha House
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 88 min
- 493 Views
1
Dude, I can't believe that
this is actually happening Zach.
I know I know I keep feeling like
I'm going to wake up from a dream.
- You want me to pinch you?
- Yes.
Alright.
- You said pinch!
- I'm sorry. Do me.
Sh*t! This is actually happening.
You're right.
We need to chill out.
We can't look like dorks
on our first day out.
Okay.
Alright.
Oh my god.
Yeah Dickface!
It's beautiful man.
It's just beautiful.
Good evening gentlemen.
It's daytime.
Mr. President.
So it is.
You boys are ready
to be inducted.
Yes Mr. President.
See, as new Alpha's these boys
have to call me Mr. President
or else they get punched
in the dick.
Boys, this is Charity. This is Faith.
Girls this is Zach and uh...
- What is it? Christian?
- Cameron.
Boys, welcome to 24-hour
party machine man!
Someone get these boys a beer
and a hand job.
- You alright man?
- I'm just so happy.
I love this place.
Alright girls
put your shirts back on,
we're going downstairs
for the Induction ceremony.
Not you.
You're meet me in my room.
Yes Mr. President.
See fellas, that right there...
never gets old.
Alright fellas quit f***ing around
we got some cherries to pop
and some serious partying to do!
Oh sh*t, did you hear
what he just said.
Oh my god.
We're not even at
It's even better then I imagined.
The average male graduate
makes $125,000 per year,
meanwhile the average
female graduate
make $41,500 per year.
- This is bullshit.
- Yes! It is bullshit Misty.
put up with such inequitable
excusable desperaties,
somehow the women or sterling
college get it in their heads
one of these successful men
is just as good
as being successful themselves.
Which is a bunch of hoowie!
Yes?
Is the Astronaut single?
What?
That's not the point.
The point is that we work so hard
to get into this college.
We're just not here
for the parties,
the sex, and to land
some rich husband. Right?
Then what are you here
Ms. Kramer?
It is Ms. Kramer isn't it?
- Kelly Kramer?
- Associate Dean Marshall.
Yes, I know who I am.
So...
This is Delta Pi Sorority.
I heard you were meeting.
Even though
you don't have a house.
I say it shows resolved.
I say it shows resolve.
It's pathetic!
And not only that, it's unfair.
Especially when you consider
how many houses
of fraternities have,
am I right ladies?
- Yeah.
- Defiantly.
Sterling college has always offered
more opportunities
to it's male students.
and your quote unquote sorority
can over turn 50 years
of history?
Yes! I do!
I was hoping you'd say that.
Gentlemen.
Today you enter an
elite brotherhood
established by
our founders in 1963.
know as the cradle of awesome,
Alpha house is known as a place
where awesome
goes to get it's freak on.
Now, are you ready to uphold
the tradition of this fraternity?
If yes, let me hear you say yeah.
- Yeah!
- Good.
Do you swear
- Let me hear you say "Yeah".
- Yeah!
fall silent.
To never let her kegs
run empty.
And to never ever
let the party die.
F*** yeah!
Now, suck the guys dick
on your immediate left.
What?
- Really?
- No, I was just messing with you.
I just wanted to see
if you'd really do it.
I have nobody to my left.
Gentlemen.
Welcome to Alpha House.
- Hey! Who turned off the lights?
- What the f***?
I'm sorry Mr. Kroger.
Am I interrupting something?
Of course not.
It's always an honor to be visited
by our associate Dean.
I see you're inducting
drunks, and future fellons.
How fratuitous that I found you
in a very excepting frame of mind.
It's very flattering
but unfortunately
we're about the capacity
for the year.
Though the peace offering
with the strippers
was not a bad move.
I see they went for
What you couldn't throw
in one sexy cop?
You see? This is why I'm here.
For too long Alpha House
has been the a bastian
for sex, drugs...
Stop! Stop! Stop it!
It's not a good thing!
It's everything that's wrong
with Sterling College!
But we are going
to transform it
into a shining example
of everything
that Sterling College has to offer.
Opportunity. Diversity.
- Equality.
- Can you get to the point?
I'm sobering up over here.
Gentlemen.
- Meet your new brothers.
- Hello boys.
As of tonight,
officially... CoEd.
- No you can't.
- I can and I did.
Dean Bungalon
No. I doubt Dean Bungalon
would give approval
to such a dramatic change
to his old fraternity.
But luckly fraternity matters,
fall under the preview
of the Associate Dean.
Which is me.
This is bullshit!
- What's your name potty mouth?
- Cameron.
your feeble mind Cameron?
You can't just change
a frat like this. This isn't fair!
And having a Sorority
without a house is?
Excellent return Renee!
He means not fair to the girls.
It's still a frat.
You can bring a whole
bunch of girls in here
but they're gonna have to live
You think it's fair to make girls
live in that kind of environment?
Excellent point
Cameron's friend.
Zach.
Don't care.
It is now written by state
and federal laws,
which forbid anyone
the opposite sex feel harassed,
disentranced, or
other wise uncomfortable.
It means you horn dogs
will dial down the debauchery.
Significantly.
How significantly?
This place is going to make the Mormon
tabernacle look like Mardi Gras.
Everybody will be
on their best behavior.
Or else, you're out.
Out of Alpha House?
Out of Alpha House.
Out of Sterling College.
Poop out of luck!
Ladies.
Why don't know go
make yourselves at home.
Girls.
Can someone please
buy some air freshener?
This is a disaster.
I'm outta here.
- Where you going?
- Sorry dudes.
I was only in this stupid frat only
for the booze and the cooze.
What about brotherhood?
the party die?
Dude, look around.
The party is dead.
in Co-Ed trim right now.
Instead of watching these
Delta Pi lesbos
turn our front door
into a chastity belt.
Adios losers.
Enjoy your castration.
Come on! Seriously guys!
Wait what?
Bye, bye.
Well...
Looks like you're the defecto
president potty mouth.
Congrats.
Alright, listen up.
This is how it's going to work.
You two are gonna divide
up the house equally.
I'm putting this on both
your shoulders.
- Got it?
- Got it.
Good.
So this is how it's gonna work.
You guys are gonna get
the rooms in the back,
and we get the rooms
in the front.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You are talking to the acting
Okay? If anybody decides
who gets what rooms is me.
Okay, so what do you suggest?
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"Alpha House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/alpha_house_2598>.
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