Alter Egos
- [Yawning]
- On capitol hill today,
the senate will vote on a bill
to cut funding for superheroes.
- They think
they can change anywhere.
The world is not
their changing room.
- Superheroes who are balancing
multiple identities
have a fragile and even tenuous
grasp on reality.
- Since the superheroes
imprisoned
all of the supervillains
over ten years ago,
they have had no enemy to fight.
That, coupled with recent
press coverage of superheroes
living on luxury lifestyles
with taxpayers' money,
has raised questions
about whether the government
should continue subsidizing
the supercorps.
Up next..
[Upbeat pop music]
- No effing way.
- Oh, God.
- I love superheroes.
Are you fishman, man?
- No.
- Which one are you?
- I'm Fridge.
The "F" stands for Fridge.
It's short for refrigerator.
- My name's Jose Maria
de Las Mercedes acostaz.
- Okay.
- People just call me moon dog.
- Great.
That's great.
- Yo, 'frigerator, dude,
you want some?
- You know,
I don't think that I can.
- It's good sh*t.
- Aren't you working?
- It's off-season, man.
There's no one around.
- I'm kind of on duty, so...
- What happens
when superheroes get high?
- I don't know.
- Do their powers get stronger?
- I don't know.
- All right.
Stay super, bro.
- You, too.
- Stay super.
[Suspenseful music]
- You know, it's funny.
Your name is C-Thru,
but I can see right through you.
Are you working for somebody
that wants to help me escape
or someone that wants
to kill me?
- Shut up.
- You're not doing this job
for the money, are you?
It's for the promotion,
the status you want,
the respect you want.
- Everybody thinks superheroes
win the lottery, huh?
Because they're born
with powers?
No one wants to appreciate
the hard work,
the sacrifices that we put in
every day.
Damn it.
- Feels good
to speak to the shrink
once in a while,
doesn't it?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Good.
How you doing?
- Good.
Hey.
- I--I was gonna knock,
but then I remembered
that you could--
- see through walls, yeah.
- Right, so I just...
What are you doing
in this place?
- I got a really bad stomach flu
last night,
and I had to stop here,
and so I called you in
for backup.
- Wait a minute, aren't you
supposed to have, like,
a police escort
or something like that?
- Solo on this one.
Cops aren't our biggest fans
at the moment, you know?
- Really?
- I'm actually
feeling better now.
You want to get some breakfast?
I'm starving.
- No, you know what?
I think let's just handle
the prisoner transport.
You and I can get some food
some other time.
- You know,
protocol says that, um...
We can't move him till dark now.
- What?
New protocol?
I'm supposed to hang out
with Emily's mom later, damn it.
- Hey, you know, but there's
a diner right down the street.
Why don't we get in our civvies
and go?
I got to get out of this thing.
My butt is itching.
- I'd rather keep the suit on.
- Why?
- You know, I just feel
more comfortable as Fridge.
- How long have you
had this thing on?
- A pretty long time.
Pretty long time.
- But you got civilian clothes
in the bag.
- Don't look through my stuff,
okay?
Please.
- All right.
All right.
- I'm just--please.
- I forgot.
I forgot how much you hate that.
- It's the weirdest thing.
- But, you know,
you really should
get that thing washed
eventually,
and take a shower.
- I think my phone's dead.
I guess I'll just send Emily
an email.
Where's the check-in office?
- Try where it says "check-in."
- Oh.
All right.
Good.
- All right, I'm gonna, um...
I'm gonna go back to my room
for a minute and get something.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
[Phone ringing]
- C-Thru, talk to me.
Tell me,
how's the mission going?
- Well, he hasn't
done it yet, sir.
- This is time-sensitive,
C-Thru.
Why are you stalling?
And may be going through
some kind of identity crisis.
It's my opinion that we find
an alternative person to--
- no, no, no.
It's got to be Fridge.
Don't question my amazingness.
- Sorry, sir, I would never
question your amazingness.
- You realize, C-Thru,
if this works,
you're gonna get
that big promotion
we've been talking about.
- Right, and I'm also doing it
for the corps, sir.
- For the corps!
- This is not a good day
to call me
because I can not spare
some sympathy
my own feeling
is mostly unclear
and when I'm talking to you
I'm not here
[Bell dinging]
- Hi.
Are you with the other one?
- Yeah, C-Thru.
Room 40.
Um...Can I use your Internet?
- That's against our policy.
Sorry.
- Yeah, I know, but...
I'm Fridge, so...
- Who?
- The refrigerator.
New ice on the block?
Cold boy?
- No, I--
- it's not doing anything
for you at all?
There's nothing there.
- I don't really follow
superhero stuff.
- I shoot ice out of my hands.
Look, let me show you
what I'm talking about.
[Zapping]
[Ice crackling]
And there it is.
- That's $15 for the mug.
- What?
No, no, I was just trying
to show you that I could--
- you freeze it, you pay for it.
- All right, I'll pay
for the mug.
Look, can I use the Internet,
please?
I'm a superhero.
You got to help me.
- I thought that meant
that you're supposed to help me.
- Well, if you were being robbed
or raped or something,
I would help you.
- Somebody say superhero?
I fight crime, too.
- Oh, great.
- Yeah, I applied
to be one of you guys.
They said my power
wasn't complete enough.
- Jimmy, please?
- No, I don't blame supercorps.
You know, they have
their standards.
Want to see my power?
- Uh...
Yeah, sure.
[Whooshing sound]
- I can turn invisible.
[Whooshing sound reverses]
- Oh.
- But only for 2.3 seconds.
- Well, that's not--
that's not bad.
That's not bad.
I, uh...
You know, there are therapists
that can help you work on that
if you want to hold it longer.
- Nah, it's okay.
I got all the power I need
right here.
- Jimmy, can you please
put your gun away
before you hurt yourself?
- You guys aren't allowed
to carry guns, are you?
[Door creaking]
- No, uh...
[Door creaking]
officer?
- Two superheroes.
How blessed we are.
- Please holster your firearm,
sir.
- Or what?
Are you going to see through it?
- [Chuckles weakly]
- You know, superheroes
used to be allowed to pack heat,
until one of them went
on a rampage,
shot his wife,
and then shot himself.
- Let me tell you something.
That superhero's name
was restore-o,
and he was a great man.
- Look, we're both
on the same side here.
- The same side, huh?
Then why is the government
cutting your funding
and not ours?
- Jimmy!
Would you please just go?
That's the last time
I'm going to tell you.
- This isn't over.
[Whispers]
I love you.
- [Sighs]
- Can I use your Internet now?
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- And you still owe me
for the mug.
- You are so annoying.
You can charge that to the room.
Hey, I'm sorry that a**hole cop
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"Alter Egos" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/alter_egos_2607>.
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