Amarcord Page #4

Would you like to drink a toast

to the triumph of Fascism?

Really, at this hour -

At this hour!

You fools!

Trying our patience like this!

You must drink

to a Fascist victory, my friend.

Don't make us crack

your skulls open to convince you

that Fascism is

for your protection and dignity!

To hell with you

ignorant bunch of animals!

- This is castor oil.

- Drink it.

No. Why should l?

What did l do?

What are you doing?

Let me go!

Be a good boy, now.

Open your mouth.

Don't make me angry.

Drink up.

lt'll do you good.

Just look at him,

a man of his age.

e's a disgrace!

You vomiting on my shoes?

This is what saddens us.

This utter refusal to understand.

Why?

There must be something wrong

with your head.

Have some more.

lt'll clear up those ideas of yours.

- You'll pay for this.

- Send us the bill.

Good heavens, 2:
00 o'clock.

What happened?

You won't listen to me.

You'll see.

Stand up.

Dry yourself off.

Don't catch cold.

Dad!

Go to bed!

God, he stinks!

lf the person who squealed

is who l think it was,

he'd better move

to another continent

or l'll eat his guts out!

l'll have his balls for dinner!

Traitorous son of a b*tch!

The Grand Hotel.

l call her "the Old Lady."

l come here every year

to sip the nectar of love.

l offer tenderness

and yearn for tenderness in return.

l'm the only one in town

who visits the Grand otel.

They say Gradisca was here once,

and it was because of

that highly improbable adventure

that she came

to be called Gradisca.

er real name is Ninola.

But one winter night

three years ago...

Don't let us down, Ninola.

The prince is a handsome man.

lf he looks satisfied,

mention the work on the harbor.

One word from him

is all it would take.

Be polite.

Speak proper ltalian.

He's a real prince,

not just any old a**hole.

Besides, it's a great opportunity

for you too.

The harbor.

Mr. Prince, sir...

gradisca!

(Whatever you desire)

And that's how Ninola

came to be called Gradisca.

Mind you, l don't attribute

much truth to that story,

nor to the one

that Biscein tells.

He's a born liar.

e makes up a new one every day.

A couple of years back,

an emir arrived

with his 30 concubines.

l saw him arrive.

The emir locked all 30 rooms

up tight every night. That much is true.

lt's the rest of Biscein's story

that leaks like a sieve.

The silly man claims

that on that very night...

Beans, olives,

toasted melon seeds!

l'm coming, girls!

Come on, Biscein.

Sweet Jesus, the p*ssy!

One, two, three, four...

e claims that, between

the beautiful girls and the ugly ones,

he polished off

Uncle!

Are you Polish? Only Polish women

have that fire in their eyes.

Uncle's a great dancer.

Commandant... ladies...

Then you must be Czech,

because only Czech women

have that fire in their eyes.

l know ltalian:

bellissimo, buona sera,

Michelangelo, fanculo,

o sole mio.

Good evening.

- Uncle!

- Get out of here!

Jesus, the a**hole waiter!

You see sea?

You take walk with me.

Come.

Leopardi wrote poetry.

Do you know Leopardi?

No, this is my first time here.

Dante Alighieri here.

Leopardi here,

or even here.

Oh, good!

ow did it go?

ow do you think?

l always find German women

to be pushovers.

She's really fallen for me.

And to prove it, she even

offered me posterior intimacy.

Uncle!

Uncle Teo was Dad's brother.

We took him out for a ride

once a month in the summer.

e's coming.

ere he comes.

ello, Uncle.

ow are things, Teo?

e's happy, Mamma.

- e's looking well.

- Yes, he is.

Watch your step.

- ere he is.

- ello, Uncle.

How are you?

- And how are you?

l'm fine.

l go to school.

We're taking you

to the farm for some passatelli.

What do you think of that?

Look, Dad's here too.

My boy!

Give Dad a kiss.

- e's doing well.

- e's doing okay.

e's grown, hasn't he?

e's in the fifth grade.

And that one got dead drunk

the other night.

- Teo, how are things?

- l'm much better.

Mamma, the pastries.

Uncle, Mamma brought you

some pastries.

We'll be back before evening.

ere, have a smoke on me.

Sit here next to Dad.

ls Father Pazzaglia still alive?

e's been dead ten years now.

e's been gone quite some time.

- e was alive last year.

- That was Father Amedeo.

ls he dead too?

No, he's alive.

Exactly.

That's what l was saying.

l saw him last year,

walking along with a bunch of flowers.

l wonder where he was going.

Teo was a bright lad

when he was eight.

No offense, Aurelio,

but Teo was much smarter

than you in school.

l grant you that.

That's quite true.

e still is, even now.

You like being with us, Teo?

Uncle, the sea's over there,

like a blue streak.

Dad, can l drive?

Come on, l'm just sitting here!

Let me drive!

That'd be the first time

a mule ever drove a horse!

That road is shorter.

That's an awful road,

full of potholes

big enough to swallow up

our carriage.

- ls something wrong?

- His pocket.

Why do you carry those

in your pocket?

These stones?

- Aren't they heavy?

- Stones are beautiful.

Stop the carriage.

- What is it?

- Teo needs to take a leak.

lf he has to...

Watch your step getting down.

- You too?

- What of it?

Don't be long, Grandpa.

l'm hungry.

My father's father used to say,

"To be fit as a fiddle,

you have to piddle.

To be fit as a frog,

pee like a dog."

What a beautiful green, Teo!

- Nice mare. ow old is she?

- Three years and two months.

She's got just one bad habit:

She can't stand train whistles.

When l'm waiting

my turn at the station,

it's really a job to hold her!

- What'll you give her to eat today?

- Some cappelletti.

You forgot to unbutton your fly.

Uncle pissed in his pants!

And they said he was okay!

You didn't undo your fly.

e forgot.

lt's true.

The sea looks like a blue streak.

Uncle, you pissed

in your pants!

Shut up!

e didn't open the shop!

No matter.

You can change at the farm.

Come here, or l'll throw myself

under the wheels!

Sit down, you little hoodlum!

Shall we move on?

Go, go!

Another fine meal.

You all go and see the spring.

My son Teo and l will stay here

and have another glass of wine.

Fine, but just one.

Know what l'm gonna do?

Take a nap.

Good. lt'll be nice

here in the shade.

The egg's lovely, isn't it, Teo?

l'm like that too.

l can stare

at an egg for hours,

wondering how nature

can make things so perfect.

'Cause it was God who made nature,

not an ignoramus like you!

Oh, lay off!

See you back here later.

Keep your eye on him, Dad.

Menghino,

how far away is this spring?

Uncle, look.

l'm hypnotizing it.

Oliva!

There's a toad here

that looks like Father Balosa.

- How is it?

- Fantastic.

And it won't give you a hangover.

We'll set this here.

Get that away from there!

Naughty boy!

l know your name,

you delinquent!

- Dad!

- What?

Uncle Teo's up a tree!

- What's he shouting?

- l didn't understand.

Uncle Teo's up a tree!

l want a woman!

Where am l going

to find you a woman, my boy?

Your uncle's up there.

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