Amateur Night Page #7

Guy.

Unless you can fly...

Come on, come on.

Let's go!

All right.

Guys, come on.

Even if you leave the car,

they're still gonna

arrest you at home.

But they're not gonna arrest you.

Come on!

Down the alley. Go!

Adam 12 to dispatch of the

29th alleyway of 3rd and 4th...

we're requesting

additional units, over.

Let's head

'em off at Temple.

Let's move, let's move

Come on!

Hey, wait for the white people!

Oh, watch out for that.

Hey, hey, hey!

We lost them.

Who are the baddest

b*tches on the planet?

We are! Nobody's

f***ing with us!

I'd hug you right now...

if I had arms.

I guess I got

a little carried away.

Just a teeny tiny.

Hey, do you have a bobby pin?

Sparkly or regular?

Fallon!

Jeez.

Give it here.

Wake your ass up, ho.

Huh?

This is my souvenir.

Wait. Aren't you

forgetting something?

Oh yeah. My money.

For such a bad night, it

was actually pretty good.

We have Guy to thank for this.

You rocked harder

than Eric Carr.

The Fox.

You're

a stand-up guy, Guy.

Hey, you too. Well...

I get it.

I gotta get this one to bed.

Bye, guys.

Guy, you can drive me any time.

As soon as I get out of jail.

Ahh, hold me.

You're taking the dog out.

Can you wait a bit?

It'll just be a sec,

I gotta take her bags up.

Well, actually,

it might be more than a sec.

I wanna show you something.

After all you've done,

you deserve a reward.

Can I get you a drink?

Ahh...

No, thank you, I'm good.

I'll be right back.

Wow.

This is an impressive

amount of tea pots here.

Thanks. Yeah, I've

been collecting 'em forever.

They're mostly vintage.

I'm really into animal ones.

I've gotten some

sick deals on eBay.

See that elephant one

with the pink flower?

Guess how much I paid for that?

Uh, fifteen dollars?

Ninety-nine cents.

Plus shipping.

You can't beat that

with a stick.

Wow. No, that is a sick deal.

Wow, yeah...

Your place is...

very tastefully done.

I'm glad you're

noticing these things.

It's good, considering

why I brought you here.

I want to show you something.

Something very personal.

It's mine, that land.

The only thing

it's missing is a house.

A tasteful house.

You realize, building a

house from the ground up

is incredibly expensive.

I mean, it could be hundreds

of thousands of dollars.

Guy, what do you know about me?

Not much.

What's one thing you do know?

You like money?

And do you think I spend it,

or save it?

Save it?

And if I've been

saving for eleven years,

how much do you think I have?

A lot?

Try a f*** of a lot.

So when can I see

those drawings?

Next week. Definitely.

I expect a friends

and family discount.

Yeah, without a doubt.

Let me give you

my lawyer's details.

Have your wife call as soon

as the police arrest you.

Tell her Patricia referred you.

That's your real name?

Patricia?

Patricia Cornbluth.

Now beat it.

I need my beauty sleep.

Thank you.

Patricia...

Cornbluth.

Oh, and, Guy?

When you come back

with those drawings...

these will be waiting for you.

I can't wait.

You came back.

Anne...

I am so sorry that I

got us into this mess,

but Nikki...

she has this lawyer who will

handle the entire thing,

and she might not charge us,

as a favor to Nikki.

I think if I go peacefully,

maybe they won't

come down too hard on me.

What are you talking about?

Weren't... they here?

The police?

No.

Did they call?

No, Guy, no police

have come or called.

What the hell is going on?

Maybe I dreamt the whole thing.

Are you

in some kind of trouble?

Maybe not.

I'm glad you're back.

I didn't think you were coming

back after my mini meltdown.

You're allowed

to have a meltdown.

Of course I was coming back.

How else was I gonna be

able to give you this?

What did you have to do

to get all this?

You don't wanna know.

Actually, I do.

Okay.

I'll tell you everything.

Because...

Because the police

are probably going

to come here and take me away.

So, umm...

What?

But I want you to know that...

I don't care anymore

about ducks being in a row.

I don't.

Ducks be damned.

As long as I have you

and our daughter...

Ducks can go f*** themselves.

I don't think that

would be a good idea.

Then there'd just be

more to take care of.

Is that...

is that a siren?

No. That is

the John Lennon mobile

I attached to the crib.

I assembled it myself...

and a few other things.

Isn't this that Volvo

we were lookin' for.

It is that Volvo

we were lookin' for.

Motherf***er's behind

on like, six payments.

Let's go repo that sh*t.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes