American: The Bill Hicks Story Page #9

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nasty habit? Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh!"

Yeah, but you know what?

I can't kill anyone in a car cos

I'm smoking a f***ing cigarette, all right?

And I've tried.

Turn off all the lights and rush 'em,

they always see the glow.

"Man, there's a big firefly heading this way.

"Sh*t! It's knocking over shrubs!"

It's really weird, he could do

an HBO special one night at a big arena,

and then to go back on the road

and do crappy clubs.

# American Airlines flight 577.

I think to him

that was part of the journey,

getting his vision out to more people,

that was what he needed to do.

I'm really tired. I apologise.

I'm really tired of... from travelling,

and tired of doing comedy,

and tired of staring out

at your blank faces looking back at me,

wanting me to fill your empty lives with humour

you couldn't possibly think of yourself.

Good evening.

American audiences, people

are too quick to take offence over here.

He just couldn't get any momentum going.

So I guess there was a frustration

level of you grow past where you're working

and Bill was moving faster

than the audiences at times.

What is pornography, man? No one knows.

The Supreme Court says

pornography is any act that has

no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts.

That's their definition essentially.

No artistic merit. Causes sexual thoughts.

Hm.

Well, that sounds like every commercial

on television, doesn't it?

You know, when I see those two twins

on that Double Mint commercial,

I'm not thinking of gum.

I am thinking of chewing.

Maybe that's the connection they're trying

to make there in a roundabout way.

You've all seen that Busch Beer commercial.

The girl in the short hot pants opens

the beer bottle on her belt buckle,

leaves it between her legs,

it foams over the bottle and over her hand,

and the voiceover goes,

"Get yourself a Busch."

Hm.

You know, correct me if I'm wrong,

that looks just... No.

No.

That fine liquor company wouldn't try

and plant that idea in my head, would they?

Not that fine upstanding liquor company.

Let me tell you what commercial

they'd like to do if they could,

and I guaran-f***ing-tee

if they could, they'd do this right here.

Here's the woman's face. Beautiful.

Camera pulls back. Naked breast.

Camera pulls back. She's totally naked.

Legs apart. Two fingers right here.

And it just says drink Coke.

Now, I don't know the connection here,

but God damn if Coke

isn't on my shopping list this week!

After doing these big long shows,

which always wore him out, being on the road,

it was good to be back in Austin

and to be playing music with his friends.

The start of the Marblehead Johnson thing

was the three of us playing the night

of the first Gulf War breaking out,

and Bill had these new songs

that he had written.

My band Year Zero broke up

and we were looking for something to do

and Bill came to town one day

and sat in with us, and it totally jelled.

You're watching the live feed of the war

and the classic... you know, the shells

going over downtown Baghdad.

It was weird watching that kick off live,

and that's the surreal thing about American

wars now is that they're televised

with some sort of ratings blood lust.

#Just one thing I know for sure

Chicks dig jerks

# Yeah...

Bill then got the HBO special

and gained greater and wider notoriety.

Still there wasn't that explosion.

Why didn't the country like Bill

as much as we do?

He went

to the Just For Laughs Festival at Montreal.

Just For Laughs

is like the Cannes Film Festival for comedy.

They come from all over the world

and it's a big deal.

He realised for the first time

in Canada that there was a new boundary

and far more thirst for his perspective about

what was going on with the American dream.

First of all, this needs to be said.

There never was a war.

How can you say that, Bill?

Well, a war is when two armies are fighting.

So you see right there, I think.

We can all agree. Yeah.

Those guys were in hog heaven out there.

You understand, man?

They had a big weapons catalogue opened up.

"What's G12 do, Tommy?"

"Well, it says here it destroys everything

but the fillings in their teeth.

"Helps us pay for the war effort."

"Sh*t, pull that one up."

"Pull up G12, please."

Shhwwshh!

Kkkcckkk!

"Cool. What's G13 doing?"

Everyone got excited about the technology,

and I guess it was pretty incredible

watching a missile fly down an air vent.

Pretty unbelievable.

But couldn't we feasibly use that same

technology to shoot food at hungry people?

You know what I mean? Flying over Ethiopia.

There's a guy that needs a banana.

Shh-kkkrrrkkk!

Shh-ww-shh!

Here he was not only just playing

in the arena of international comedy,

he was excelling in that arena.

Cos I live in the States,

a very puritanical place, full of superstition,

and ancient, ancient religions that

no longer serve their function on this planet,

because they're based on fear instead of love.

But, uh... they say

rock'n'roll is the devil's music.

Well, let's say that it is. I got news for you.

Let's say that rock'n'roll is the devil's music

and we know it for a fact

to be absolutely unequivocally true.

Boy, at least he f***ing jams.

OK, did you hear that correctly?

If it's a choice between

eternal hell and good tunes

or eternal heaven

and New Kids On The f***ing Block...

I'm gonna be surfing on the lake of fire,

rockin' out.

Oh, come on, Bill, they're the New Kids.

Don't pick on them.

They're so good, they're so clean-cut and

they're such a good image for the children.

F*** that. When did mediocrity and banality

become a good image for your children?

I want my children to listen

to people who f***ing rocked!

I don't care if they died

in puddles of their own vomit!

I want someone who plays

from his f***ing heart!

I want 'em to f***ing play with one hand

and put a gun in their other f***ing hand!

Now, I hope you enjoyed the show! Bkkk!

Yes! Yes!

Play from your f***ing heart!

I am available

for children's parties, by the way.

I don't think Bill knew

that this video they made there was gonna

suddenly be broadcast on British TV,

and then that was gonna be

the beginning of the next step.

From the United States,

please raise the roof for Bill Hicks.

Yeah!

I love being a comedian. It's the greatest

job in the world for one simple reason.

I don't have a boss.

Definite plus in a lifestyle, man.

Every job I've had with a boss,

always harassed.

"Hicks, how come you're not working?"

"There's nothing to do."

"Well, you pretend like you're working."

"Well, why don't you pretend I'm working?

"You get paid more than me. You fantasise."

In Edinburgh,

he won the Judges'Award.

He realised, "Man, OK,

there is an audience for what I do. "

Here's an American ridiculing America.

He had been so good at making fun

of his parents, especially his father.

Now he was terrific

at making fun of his fatherland.

The American dream

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