American Crude Page #2

time dealing with them right now.

What? Why?

Wha... I don't get it.

What, what? You just

suddenly outgrown them?

Yeah, kind of like

Puff the Dragon,

and little Jackie Paper,

you know?

It's just time to move on.

(CAR HORN BLARING)

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

What the f*** was that about?

That jerk almost took off

the front end of our car.

Well, then, don't shout at me,

it is not my fault.

I'm not shouting at you!

I'm just frustrated.

Then don't let him get away

with it, you know?

God, do something about it.

Like what?

I don't know, something.

Anything.

God. Give him the finger.

Tell him to f*** off.

Broadside him, whatever.

Just don't do nothing.

Come on, you f***ing wetbacks!

You f***ing lowlife losers!

Come on! Hey.

You trying to get us killed?

Have you ever

heard of road rage?

The guy could have a gun.

Oh.

You are always so careful.

Just so f***ing predictable.

I mean, what in the hell

are you so angry about?

I don't know.

You know,

I wish you'd figure it out.

Because we're getting married

next week...

and I don't want to spend the

rest of my life defending myself.

JOHNNY:
Wait, we can't fulfill

each other's every need.

We marry who we marry.

Most people don't change.

Men and women will never

truly understand each other.

We can try to make

the best of it.

We can't possibly be everything

to each other all the time.

- Hence your desire for other women.

- That's not my desire.

That's just the man in me. That's

the nature of being a man.

What exactly is that? Do tell.

I'm just saying that I can't

change my animal desires.

You understand? That's the point

I'm trying to get across.

Good point. I'm gonna get

off this roller coaster.

I have potato salad to make.

Yo, Carlos, what's up, baby?

Your man is home,

and he gots presents for you.

Whoo!

You getting all clean and

fresh for Daddy, aren't you?

You got everything we need?

Yeah, I got the hot dogs, the

beer, the T-shirt, the jeans.

I even stopped over there at Trashy

Lancey's Lingerie on Flower...

and picked up some of the

finest finery fit for a ho.

You're the pimp.

You got the weapons?

I got everything in the trunk.

What's up with Enrique?

First of the month,

tonight's the night.

Tonight? Man, you done

had my ass running all day.

All right, I know how to do this.

I'm gonna take me a nap.

Get up off your

lazy black ass. It is D-day.

Hey, man, look. Do not be

b*tch-slapping me like that.

You want a f***ing life, huh?

- You want the bling-bling?

- You know it's not even about that.

We've had this

conversation before.

I know you running the show,

and you got the booty...

but don't ever treat me like some

lackey-ass n*gger along for the ride.

I treat you like a n*gger?

You call me "n*gger"

all the time.

Your black friends call each

other n*gger. "Hey, n*gger."

Don't bring my

friends into this.

That's our culture and

that's our way of relating.

- You know that.

- That's called Ebonics, man. Right?

You need to check yourself.

Somebody's going to get hurt

and it ain't gonna be me.

You going to hurt me, b*tch?

Oh, now I'm your b*tch, huh?

- Yeah, you're my b*tch.

- All right, I'm a show you a b*tch.

(COW MOOS)

(CHICKENS CLUCKING)

What's wrong?

I can't, Kip.

Well, sure you can.

Stop.

I know I can,

but I don't want to.

If you loved me,

you'd do it with me.

If you loved me...

I mean if you really loved me

in your heart of hearts,

you'd wait.

You wouldn't push me.

Push you? We've been going out

for almost three weeks.

I already gave you more time than

other boys at school would've.

- I mean, we're gonna be seniors next year.

- I know.

We're moving into adulthood.

It's time.

Are you saying

I should just do it?

You know, "it,"

because it's time?

God tells you when it's time.

Now, what are you talking about?

Take puberty, for example. That's

what God does to our bodies...

so we know we're ready.

God did it to us?

Yes, in a manner of speaking.

If God made us,

then he must have designed us.

A girl can have her period,

she can have babies.

And once a boy can pop his rock,

he's got all the ammunition

he needs.

Can I have that smoke?

It just figures that...

if God wanted us to wait until

we were grown to have sex...

then he would have

made us that way.

I want to make

something of myself, Kip.

God, I know it sounds crazy...

but I feel like I'm

special somehow, you know.

And I don't want

to go getting pregnant...

before I get the chance

to follow my dreams.

I don't want to ruin

your dreams.

I just want us to feel good.

(BOTH GASP)

Better get your

hands off her, boy.

Mr. Snow, it ain't what it looks like.

I was helping her with her...

I know what you were

helping her with.

Get on down here, little girl.

Hey, I'm not a little girl

anymore, Daddy.

Get your ass down here now!

MR. SNOW:
Hurry up.

Ow!

I hope you're proud of yourself.

Smoking cigarettes and slutting it

up, right here under my own roof.

Hey, I ain't no slut. Oh!

- You, I'm going to kick your ass.

- Daddy, leave him alone.

You dirty little dog. Get ready.

MR. SNOW:
This is it.

I've had enough of you.

Goddamn it. Yeah, you'd

better run, you little turd.

About to get the ass-whipping

of your life, boy.

(CAR TIRES SQUEALING)

Kip! Kip! Kip!

Daddy!

Get back here, little girl.

Oh..

HeyHi, hi.in.

Good, good.?

Hi. Yeah.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Hey, so where's Johnny?

ALL:
Surprise!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Surprise, honey.

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

I've missed you.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

You are gonna make

such a beautiful bride.

Hey, wake up, buddy. You're

signing your death certificate.

The end of sex. The end of freedom.

It's all downhill from here.

You should know. After all,

you know everything.

You're catching on. Does this

mean it's all over between us?

Stop, all right?

Get your breath off my face.

You need to tame your beast.

Bil Yeah? Man.

You are one lucky lady. You got

yourself a keeper right here.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, I love you so much.

We gotta get out of here.

Are we ready to go?

This estrogen's gonna kill me.

Where you guys going?

Boys' night out.

Bachelor party, you know...

Bachelor party? I told you...

Surprise.

I told you I don't

want a bachelor party.

Now, Bill, you can't go

against tradition.

This is your last

opportunity to enter

that free world

with your balls intact.

Well, thank you very much. My

balls will always be intact.

We took a lot of time to make

sure that you two had a night...

that you would never forget.

So stick with the program.

Besides, we have plans of our

own that don't include you.

Wh Bye. Ans?

You're pussing out on me, Bill.

Don't puss out on me.

We've been through a lot together.

This is a big night.

(SIGHS)

I just don't want to disgrace the

whole point of the celebration.

JOHNNY:
Being what?

Our marriage.

What is the matter with you?

I seem to recall

at Phil's bachelor party...

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