American Psycho Page #4

The table stares at Bateman uncomfortably.

BATEMAN:

We also have to control the influx of illegal

immigrants. We have to encourage a return to traditional

moral values and curb graphic sex and violence on TV, in

movies, in pop music, everywhere. Most importantly we have

to promote general social concern and less materialism in

young people.

Price chokes on his drink. Everyone is silent and

mystified.

CARRUTHERS:

Patrick, how thought-provoking.

INT. EVELYN'S BEDROOM - LATER THE SAME EVENING

Bateman and Evelyn are lying on her bed watching television.

BATEMAN:

Why don t you just go for Price?

EVELYN:

Oh God, Patrick. Why Price? Price?

BATEMAN:

He's rich.

EVELYN:

Everybody's rich.

BATEMAN:

He's good-looking.

EVELYN:

Everybody's good-looking, Patrick.

BATEMAN:

He has a great body

EVELYN:

Everybody has a great body now.

Bateman unbuttons his shirt and makes advances to get

Evelyn to have sex with him. She ignores him, watching the

Home Shopping Channel with the remote in her hand. Finally,

he straddles her, penis close to her face. She tries to

look around him at the TV, then takes notice.

EVELYN:

What do you want to do with that, floss with it?

Bateman flops back down beside her and stares at the television.

EVELYN:

Are you using minoxidil?

BATEMAN:

No. I'm not. Why should I ?

EVELYN:

Your hairline looks like it's receding.

BATEMAN:

It's not.

EXT. STREET - LATER THAT NIGHT

It is 3 a.m. Bateman is standing at an ATM, listening to the

comforting sound of fresh bills thudding out of the machine.

Bateman turns around and watches a solitary young woman walk

past him. He collects his money, placing it carefully in his

wallet, and then walks toward her, whistling. He catches up

to her as she pauses at a red light.

BATEMAN:

Hello.

The woman looks suspicious for a moment and then, seeing

his smile, smiles back.

INT. DRY CLEANERS - DAY

Bateman, dressed in an Armani suit

with an unlit cigar between his teeth is standing in a dry

cleaners, arguing with the Chinese woman behind the

counter.

BATEMAN:

Listen, wait. You're not...shhh wait...

you're not giving me valid reasons.

The woman continues to speak to him in another language,

grabbing at the sleeve of the jacket.

BATEMAN:

What are you trying to say to me?

Her husband has taken Bateman's horribly bloodstained

sheets out of the bag and is staring at them.

BATEMAN:

Bleach-ee? Are you trying to say bleach-ee?

Bleach-ee. Oh my God.

She keeps pointing to the jacket and talking.

BATEMAN:

(Talking over her)

Two things. One. You can't bleach a Soprani. Out of the question.

Two.

(Louder)

Two. I can only get these sheets in Santa Fe. These are very

expensive sheets and I really need them clean.

She keeps talking and Bateman leans into her.

BATEMAN:

If you don't shut your f***ing mouth I will kill

you, are you understanding me?

She talks faster.

BATEMAN:

Now listen-I have a very important lunch meeting

(Checks Rolex)

at Hubert's in thirty minutes, and I need those

...no wait, twenty minutes. I have a lunch meeting at

Hubert's in twenty minutes with Ronald Harrison and I need

those sheets cleaned by this afternoon.

She keeps talking.

BATEMAN Listen. I cannot understand you.

Bateman starts laughing, slaps his hand down on the

counter.

BATEMAN:

This is crazy. You're a fool. I can't cope with

this.

Bateman is on the verge of tears.

BATEMAN:

Stupid bitchee! Understand? Oh Christ!

Someone enters the store behind him. It's VICTORIA,

late-twenties, attractive but a little overweight, wearing a

tailored business suit with white sneakers and sports socks.

VICTORIA:

Patrick?

She takes off her sunglasses.

VICTORIA:

Hi, Patrick. I thought that was you.

BATEMAN:

Hello

(Mumbles un incomprehensible name)

Awkward pause.

BATEMAN:

Well.

VICTORIA:

Isn't it ridiculous? Coming all the way up here,

but you

know. They really are the best.

BATEMAN:

Then why can't they get these stains out? I mean can you talk

to these people or something? I'm not getting anywhere.

Victoria moves toward the sheet that the old man is holding

up. She

touches it and the woman behind the counter begins talking

again.

VICTORIA:

Oh my, I see. What are those? Oh my.

BATEMAN:

Um, well...it s cranberry juice. Cranapple.

VICTORiA

(Skeptically) Really?

BATEMAN:

Well, I mean, um, it s really...Bosco. You

know, like...

like a Dove Bar. It's a Dove Bar...Hershey's Syrup?

VICTORIA:

(As if sharing a secret joke) Oh yeah. Oh I get it.

Fun with chocolate.

BATEMAN:

Listen, if you could talk to them

(He yanks the sheet out of the man's hand)

I would really appreciate it. I'm really late. I have a

lunch appointment at Hubert's in fifteen minutes.

Bateman turns to leave.

VICTORIA:

Hubert's? Oh really? It moved uptown, right?

BATEMAN:

Yeah, well, oh boy, listen, I've got to go. Thank

you, uh...

Victoria?

VICTORIA:

Maybe we could have lunch one day next week? You

know, I'm downtown near Wall Street quite often.

BATEMAN:

Oh, I don't know, Victoria. I'm at work all the

time.

VICTORIA:

Well, what about, oh, you know, maybe a Saturday?

BATEMAN:

(Checking his watch)

Next Saturday?

VICTORIA:

(Shrugging)

Yeah.

BATEMAN:

Oh, can't, I'm afraid. Matinée of Les Miserables.

Listen, I've really got to go. I'll-Oh...Christ...I'll call

you.

VICTORIA:

Okay. Do.

Bateman glares at the woman behind the counter and rushes

out the door. Victoria stares after him as we hear the sound

of the bell on the closing door.

INT. BATEMAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Bateman is sitting on the sofa watching a video, talking to

Courtney on a portable phone. He's holding a video box in one

hand, perusing the title: Inside Lydia's Ass. Offscreen we hear

the sounds of the porn movie as he talks.

BATEMAN:

Listen, what are you doing tonight?

COURTNEY:

What? Oh, I'm...busy.

BATEMAN:

Listen, you're dating Luis, he's in Arizona. You're f***ing me,

and we haven't made plans. What could you possibly be up to

tonight?

COURTNEY:

Stop it. I'm...

BATEMAN:

On a lot of lithium?

COURTNEY:

Waiting for Luis to call me. He said he'd call

tonight. Oh don't be difficult, Patrick.

BATEMAN:

You should come have dinner with me.

COURTNEY:

But-when?

BATEMAN:

Am I confused or were we talking about tonight?

COURTNEY:

Ummm . . yeah. Luis is calling me tonight. I

need to be

home for that.

BATEMAN:

Pumpkin?

COURTNEY:

Yes?

BATEMAN:

Pumpkin you're dating an a**hole.

COURTNEY:

Uh huh.

BATEMAN:

Pumpkin you're dating the biggest dickweed in New

York.

COURTNEY:

I know. Stop it.

BATEMAN:

Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling

dickweed.

COURTNEY:

Patrick don't call me pumpkin anymore, okay? I have to go.

BATEMAN:

Courtney? Dinner?

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