American Psycho II: All American Girl

Clara was my babysitter.

I was only 12 years old,

naive and somewhat trusting.

But all that was about to change.

Some babysitters take you to the movies,

or roller-blading in the park.

Mine brought me on a date with

a serial killer.

Patrick Bateman.

Not my idea of a romantic evening.

God, look at her.

All drugged up and tied to a chair.

I knew we should have gone to the movies.

At first, I was scared.

I wanted to get out of there

as fast as I could.

But then...

something came over me.

As soon as I was free,

I got really pissed.

He was about to make a real

mess of my babysitter.

So, I did what many of you would have done,

I took matters into my own hands.

And it changed my life forever.

Is everything all right in there?

-I thought I heard a crash.

-Yes, everything's fine. Thanks.

They found Bateman and his final

victim a few days later.

The FBI quickly uncovered a psychopath,

and a few extra unsolved murders,

and he became an instant celebrity,

an overnight sensation.

They even wrote a book about him.

Only in America. As for me?

I was never tied to the scene.

And rather than self-destruct,

or spend the rest of my life

on some shrink's couch,

I told no one of what had happened.

I silently vowed to devote my life

to stopping other psycho killers.

I couldn't wait to grow up.

The next six years of my life were a blur.

My parents wrote me off emotionally.

My mom became a raging alcoholic,

and my dad was busy f***ing the secretary.

Pretty clich, huh?

So, here I am today,

attending the most renowned behavioral

studies program in the nation.

Here they focus on profiling,

the art, craft and science of

tracking serial killers.

The subject matter itself attracts some weirdos.

Hey, Rachael.

But then again, maybe it's just me...

The problem is,

I don't have time for games.

I have got to focus on my work.

-You can do better than that.

-That's what your mama said.

And what can I say?

Studying murder often brings

out the best in people.

Thought you quit!

Getting into West Washington wasn't easy.

I busted my ass in high school

and maintained a perfect

4.0 grade point average.

All this, so I could study with

the best mind in the field,

Professor Robert Starkman.

Possibly the most revered

hunter of serial killers

the FBI ever produced.

After solving every high profile

crime ever thrown at him,

he suddenly made a startling life

change and became a teacher.

Some say it was his last case,

the mysterious death of serial

killer Patrick Bateman.

Good morning.

Funny how life works, isn't it?

Good morning.

Starkman never discusses the Bateman case...

Never.

Congratulations on getting through

the first half of the semester...

alive.

I have here...

the official application form

for the teacher's assistant

position for next year.

This is my golden ticket to Quantico,

the FBI's elite training program.

Unfortunately, everyone else is

here for the same reason.

They know that nine out of

Starkman's last 10 assistants,

-were accepted into the FBI.

-...Announcing my new assistant

by the end of the week, just before

we head off for Spring Break.

And, talking about Spring Break,

don't forget the party at the Dean's mansion.

We will have the opportunity to

say goodbye to Miss McGuire

who's leaving us for bigger

and better things.

Well, after weeks of grueling,

if not gruesome work,

let's have some fun, shall we?

Today we will be looking

at the unique aliases

the FBI, the press and the general public

have nicknamed serial killers, and why.

His present TA is Elizabeth McGuire.

She's already been accepted to Quantico...

Early admissions.

I am the front runner to replace her.

Nobody comes close to my rock solid GPA.

Dr. H.H. Holmes was once vilified,

in a biography,

as the "Arch Fiend."

I'd like to say none of them have a chance,

but grades aren't everything.

And I do have some competition.

Contender number one: Brian Leads.

A GPA as low as his wouldn't

normally pose a threat.

But his family's fortune,

easily numbering in hundreds of millions,

can open a lot of doors.

How do you think he got into the school?

Can you spell "donation"?

He can't.

Albert Fish, AKA "The Moon Maniac"...

AKA "The Werewolf of Wisteria."

Contender two:
Cassandra Blaire.

They say she and Starkman

have been going at it

since the beginning of the semester.

But my guess:
No way.

He's old enough to be her grandfather.

Nannie Doss...

"The Black Widow" who murdered

four of her husbands.

Contender three:
Keith Lawson.

He poses the biggest threat of the three.

He and I have been sparring

all year in this class.

But, I have yet to lose a single round.

The fact is, none of them have a chance.

Oh, Bobby.

Red lips, red leaves fall

on my knees like autumn

I miss cigarettes every

single day of my life

When you make love to me

I close my eyes and pray you say goodbye

Damn

She's dawning on me

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

And I bet you don't know what love means

It's just that you do not love me.

The application is a mere formality.

Come Friday, I will be

Starkman's new teaching assistant.

The position is mine.

I deserve it and I am going to get it.

Yes, there may be a few more

hoops I have to jump through,

but I can handle them.

Besides, failure is not an option.

Why don't we just start over here,

because I suggest you reconsider

your position on this.

I am sorry, Mr. Leads.

I can't make any exceptions.

Your GPA is simply not high enough.

Are you saying no to me?

Do you know who my father is?

Mr. Leads...

I am well aware of your family's legacy.

Heed my advice. A bird in the

hand is worth two in the bush.

That's your f***ing advice?

I have some advice for you.

Get ready to take a long vacation.

Go with God, dear heart. Next!

Can you believe this sh*t?

Wait till she sees my GPA after

my cousin hacks into their mainframe.

Oh!

Do they give these things

up for b*tch of the month?

That hag could be the reigning champion.

She's lucky I don't bash her brains in.

Next!

Hi.

I was told to drop off my application here.

Looks like everything's in order here.

Thank you.

Wait a second.

-What's this?

-What?

It says here that you're a freshman.

Yeah, so what?

We don't usually allow freshmen or

sophomores to become TAs.

You have to be a junior or above.

This isn't your usual situation.

Professor Starkman told me I could apply.

Shouldn't this decision be

left up to the professor?

Afraid not.

I will run this up the flagpole

and see who salutes.

I will have to speak with your teacher.

I have a schedule to keep.

It's all worked out.

We do this for your own good.

Freshmen can be extremely

overwhelmed, being at college,

and away from home for the

first time in their lives.

Here, take this.

"Beat common freshmen fears

in 10 easy steps."

So many new experiences.

It's so exciting.

Look, the only experience I want

is to be Professor Starkman's

TA next semester.

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