American Satan

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWD CHANTING)

Relentless!

Relentless! Relentless!

Relentless! Relentless!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you believe in the devil?

(STUTTERS)

I agreed to do this interview

to talk about music,

not religion.

INTERVIEWER:
I know you said it

starts and ends with the music,

but with The Relentless,

there was much more to their

success than just their songs.

What about all the disturbing

scenarios surrounding the band?

That's the duality

of rock 'n' roll.

And what is that supposed

to mean?

Dude, that riff is sick!

I mean, mate, I'm no Jimmy Page

but it's a pretty

f***ing sick riff,

- right?

- Yeah.

- Is that a new song?

- It will be.

Oh, hi, Ms. Spouse.

- Hi, Leo.

- Shut up.

(BEEPS)

Are you sure you don't wanna try

California just for the summer

and maybe move after

you get your degree?

Mom, look, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs,

they both dropped out of school.

I'm just trying to keep

the rhythm going.

Okay.

- (SCHOOL BUS HORN HONKING)

- Oh, I gotta go anyway.

MOM:

All right.

- All right, you have a good day.

- Mm.

- All right.

- All right.

- Love you, bye.

- Love you, too, bye.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Dude.

Five freaking days till we're living

in L. A. It's finally happening, man.

Hell yeah.

(SIGHS)

We'll work through

this long distance stuff.

I wouldn't chase my dreams if you weren't

going to be with me in them forever, okay?

Okay.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Hey, you got the new

Eyes of Black?

Oh, this?

Yeah, my mom got it for me.

Man, she rules.

My parents didn't let me listen

to them till I was 18.

So when you guys make it big

and Rolling Stone asks you,

"What do you want to change most

in the world with The Relentless?"

What are you gonna say?

- I gotta finish the lyrics first.

- (CHUCKLES)

(BELL TOLLING)

It's kind of twisted you waited this

long to tell them, don't you think?

- What was their response?

- You know, typical parental bullshit.

Make sure

he's taking care of you,

make sure he gets

the drummer on the plane.

- Make sure he doesn't f*** up your career.

- Oh, charming. Yeah, yeah.

- (BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

- Thank you.

Yeah, I heard he flew in

from Australia or something.

All the way in

for certain people.

- This is gonna be easy!

- Yeah.

Woo! Are you ready?

Mate, you're

an incredible drummer!

That's what they tell me, man.

Band's f***ing sh*t though.

What the f*** did you just say?

Whoa. (LAUGHS)

Hello, mate. How's it going?

I'm Ricky. This is Leo.

Can we, um,

can we buy you a drink?

(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN:

Are you excited?

I'd be a lot more excited

if you were coming with me.

No sex and drugs,

just rock 'n' roll. Right?

No sex and drugs.

Not until you make it out west

anyway.

Oh, come on.

Johnny, please promise us that you're

going to be responsible in Hollywood.

- Please?

- I promise.

Losing your mind

I promise when we blow up I'm

moving you out of this sh*t town.

(SIGHS) Okay.

Don't make me worry.

- Love you.

- Love you.

(SIGHS) Love you, guys.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Forgive me mother

For I have sinned

Some great riffs.

He's got a f***ing good voice.

You're just kidding about all that

stuff you've got going on, yeah?

- Hmm, no. No. (LAUGHS)

- No, we're not f***ing kidding, you twat.

So you mean to tell me

that you guys already have,

what, a full on record deal,

a booking agent, a manager

and a 62-day North American tour

lined up?

Wow! Someone's finally

paying attention.

It took a while, didn't it?

Bloody hell.

How'd you guys land all that?

Come on, mate, we're busy men.

Are you in or not?

Give me a few days to think

about it, yeah?

Oh. (SIGHS) Dear me. That's not

the right answer at all, is it?

No, I think, um, I think we're

gonna go with the other guy.

- RICKY:
I think he's a bit more...

- Exactly. Just a little...

You know what? Yeah. Good luck.

- Should we just?

- We should just go.

- Just go? Just go. Just go?

- Because... No point in... Yeah. Yeah.

Nice to meet you, man.

Um, (CLICKS TONGUE) yeah.

F***. Hey, lads!

JOHNNY:

All right.

- A bottle of Jack and a bottle of Don Julio.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, how you doing?

- Keep an eye on this stuff please.

- JOHNNY:
Yup.

Hey, hey.

Could you watch my ax, too?

(CHUCKLES) Sure.

- What tune you all playing at?

- Oh, Drop D.

Drop D. I got it, okay. Okay.

- (HUMS, LAUGHS)

- JOHNNY:
All right. Let's do it.

Wait. We gotta wait for this

f***ing guy with this guitar.

No sh*t. We're waiting for him?

I don't know where he is.

I can't just leave his sh*t.

It took you that long

to find booze? And an apple?

Boy, I don't waste my time

with that poison.

You think I collect cans and bottles

all day so I can buy some liquor?

- MAN:
Hey, hey, hey.

- I'm just checking.

- All right.

- Kid, perception is not reality.

It's what you feel,

not what you see.

Sorry, man,

we didn't mean to judge you.

Don't get caught inside

the "Hollow wood."

- MAN:
What you feel!

- Yeah.

- What you feel!

- Got it. Feeling it.

- All right, kid, let's get out.

- Apple? I feel like getting wasted.

- I feel it, too.

- Amen.

John 7:
24.

Stop judging by mere appearances

and instead, judge correctly.

(CHUCKLES)

Can I show you boys around town?

All right, come on. What was it?

The Bible quote that put you off

or my body odor?

Be honest.

I don't believe in the Bible,

you f***in' weirdo.

Oh.

Hey, have a little faith in me.

(RADIO FREQUENCY STATIC)

And the boys on my left,

they just arrived in town and

hope to be the next big thing!

Hey, you guys know

what hope is, don't you?

Hope is the little old lady

in Vegas

with a bucket full of pennies.

Three sevens. Three sevens!

We're actually f***ing here!

Right, when are we gonna go

meet up with the record label?

Oh, you know what, better yet

let's get our booking agent

to line up some local gigs

before the tour, yeah?

Right. Settle down, sunshine.

I know you're excited.

Management deals with all that.

All the business.

- The record label...

- Oh, right, f*** of course.

Well, let's just meet up with him

now. Yeah? He sounds brilliant!

You've already met him.

- Come again?

- Um, yeah, um...

I'm the manager. Yeah. Hi.

- Um, four, five years now.

- Five years.

Right. Bollocks. For real,

let's get on with it. Come on.

- Where's he at?

- What's wrong with this pecker?

That's f***ing daft, mate!

You're a roadie who's never been on

the road before not a f***ing manager!

Yeah? I managed to get you from

some shitty little pub in England

with your four shitty fans

from the Sunset strip.

- It's not a bad start! Whoa!

- You're f***ing dead!

- Stop him! Stop him!

- Calm the f*** down, man.

- Listen! Ricky might work in mysterious ways.

- Yes.

- We do have a plan.

- Mysterious?

- F***ing pathologically lying and mysterious, man!

- All right, listen.

Just wait until you meet Johnny.

Ricky found him on line what?

- Four? Four.

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