American Splendor Page #2

.

He is large and slightly threatening with knitted brows and

wild eyes. Yet there is something kind and vulnerable about

him -- a teddy bear who could kick your ass.

Off Camera, WE HEAR the voices of the male and female

directors (us -- BOB and SHARI) coaching the “Real Harvey”

through his voice over. Harvey’s irritable and contrary,

saying that the whole Halloween incident never even happened.

“But I don’t care man. I’m just doing this for the dough.”

We learn that Harvey is a reluctant participant in a film

being made about his life.

SUDDENLY, his third wife JOYCE BRABNER -- an intelligent

control freak obsessed with all things negative -- joins in

the conversation. Pushing back her huge glasses, she

reprimands Harvey like he is an infant: “Harvey you are

talking too loud, Harvey you are being difficult.” Harvey

just rolls his eyes. Joyce gets offended. It is clear they

have had this argument a million times. As Joyce storms

off...

7.

Harvey explains that his wife is trying to take over the

movie. He laments that she is his third wife, and he has no

luck with women. “Man, chicks just don’t dig me.” That’s

why he marries anyone who will have him. “And I marry them

fast before they get to know the real me...”

END HIGH DEFINITION VIDEO DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE

CUT TO:

INT. EXAMINATION ROOM - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

INTERTITLE:
1975

HARVEY sits on a table in his T-shirt and underwear. A

DOCTOR unwraps a tongue depressor.

Harvey’s voice is hoarse, raspy and barely audible. It

sounds like it hurts for him to talk. Yet, he can’t stop

ranting.

HARVEY:

Doc, you gotta help me. My old

lady’s dumping me ‘cause I can’t

talk. She says I’m a social

embarrassment. Now that she’s got

her PhD, she’s some hot sh*t

academic star an’ I’m nuthin’ but a

file clerk with nothin’ ta say an’

no voice ta say it. But me bein’ a

file clerk was fine when I wrote

the damn check for her tuition-DOCTOR

#1

Harvey, stop talking please, and

open wide.

He points the tongue depressor at Harvey’s mouth but he just

keeps on going.

HARVEY:

I just don’t get it ... We were

doin’ okay for a while. Then we

took that stupid belated honeymoon.

I started losin’ my voice on the

plane. Can you believe that... On

the plane, doc?

DOCTOR #1

Bad timing, I guess. Now please

say “Ah,” Mr. Pekar.

8.

HARVEY:

“Ahhh.”

(without missing a beat)

“Ahhh” ruined the trip. I got

crazy, started to worry my voice

would never come back. I mean, my

wife didn’t know me so long before

we got hitched. What if she

totally forgets what I’m like?

Man, it’s torture-

DOCTOR #1

Shhh ....

The Doctor shines a penlight into Harvey’s mouth and looks

around.

DOCTOR #1 (cont’d)

Uh-huh.

He raises an eyebrow. Harvey catches this. Hypochondria

overtakes him.

HARVEY:

(the penlight in his

mouth)

What? Is it bad, doc?

The Doctor removes the penlight.

DOCTOR #1

It’s not good.

Harvey jumps off the table.

HARVEY:

It’s cancer? First I got marital

problems and now yer tellin’ me I

got throat cancer? Omigod ...

DOCTOR #1

Harvey, calm down. It’s not

cancer. You have a nodule on your

vocal chords. Probably from

screaming and yelling too much.

And if you don’t stop talking and

give it a rest, you’re gonna lose

your voice completely.

Relieved, Harvey calms down. He nods, agreeing to be good.

9.

HARVEY:

Whew ... Okay, okay. But fer how

long?

DOCTOR #1

A few months.

HARVEY:

(loudly)

Months!!

Suddenly Harvey’s voice cracks under his effort to raise it.

He sheepishly grabs his throat.

DOCTOR #1

See? More of that and you’ll do

permanent damage. Now go home,

keep your mouth shut, and hopefully

we won’t have to operate.

Operate? Harvey gets nervous again. The Doctor throws him

his clothing.

CUT TO:

EXT. CLEVELAND STREET - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

A silent sequence. A dejected HARVEY walks home alone along

an empty lot. Day-old dirty snow clings to the ground.

He wanders through a down-in-the-heels neighborhood, passing

run-down stores and ramshackle apartments.

EXT. BUS STOP - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

Harvey approaches TOBY -- a dumpy 20-something going on 60something

in ridiculous, mismatched polyester clothing. He

is odd, awkward and talks with a monotone, robotic voice. In

short, he is a super dork.

TOBY:

Hi Harvey. You weren’t in work

today. Are you okay, Harvey?

Harvey barely looks up. He nods his head “yes” and keeps

walking.

TOBY (cont’d)

(yelling after him)

I’m heading downtown to the White

Castle. Wanna come, Harvey?

10.

Harvey leaves Toby behind and turns the corner.

EXT. DELI - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

Two WOMEN argue loudly over a payphone.

SPANISH WOMAN #1 (IN SPANISH)

I already told you, I’m waiting for

a call!

SPANISH WOMAN #2

Oh yeah? Since when is this your

private office?!

SPANISH WOMAN #1

Since you can kiss my ass.

Harvey stops in his tracks and stares at them, jealous of

their ability to speak.

.

CLOSE UP:
SPANISH WOMAN #1’s MOUTH

HARVEY:

(to himself)

Look at ‘em yakkin’. How do they

do it?

Out of the corner of her eye, WOMAN #2 notices Harvey

eavesdropping.

WOMAN #2

(yelling at Harvey)

Ay, what are you looking at?

Maricone!

Startled, Harvey moves on.

EXT. ACROSS FROM A PARK - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

He passes a group of KIDS playing in the snow. They scream,

yell and laugh with abandon.

HARVEY:

(shaking his head)

They all make it seem so easy.

Then, BAM! Harvey is awakened from his reverie by a

snowball. The kids laugh loudly. He wipes away the snow and

walks on.

A VOICE OVER interrupts the scene.

11.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Here’s our man walking home from

the doctor’s. He’s got the weight

of the world on him. And fer what,

really? ‘Cause his throat’s a

little screwy? Man, people in

India are starvin’ to death every

day. His problems are nothin’.

CUT TO:

EXT. BRIDGE OVER TRAIN TRACKS - DAY

Totally dejected, HARVEY crosses over train tracks on his way

home.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Still, he can’t help feelin’

paranoid, like some supernatural

force is conspiring against him to

rob him of his voice.

EXT. HARVEY’S APARTMENT - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

Harvey sulks up the steps of his brick low-rise apartment

building. He passes an ELDERLY NEIGHBOR coming down the walk

with her shopping cart. Harvey unlocks the door.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Maybe his old lady will go easy on

him today, when she sees how upset

he is.

INT. HARVEY’S LIVING ROOM - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

Harvey’s second wife LANA -- a hippyish chic with long hair

and a bad attitude -- pulls books off a shelf and selectively

throws them onto the floor or packs them into a milk crate.

An overstuffed suitcase sits beside her. She’s obviously

leaving him. HARVEY enters the room.

.

HARVEY:

(whispering)

Ay ... What is this?

Harvey’s voice breaks up.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes