American Splendor Page #7

HARVEY:

Ya think there’s any connection

between lentils and lent?

TOBY:

I don’t think so but I’ll ask

Sister Mary Fred at church on

Sunday.

HARVEY:

Sister Mary Fred, huh? Is she

cute? Sounds kinda mannish but who

am I to be picky.

TOBY:

Harvey, you’re funny. She’s a nun.

HARVEY:

So what? Maybe she became a nun

because she couldn’t get a guy.

TOBY:

Harvey, she became a nun because

she had a higher calling.

35.

HARVEY:

Higher calling. That is such a

crock of sh*t. I don’t know why

you waste your time prayin’ anyway.

TOBY:

Well, Harvey, I like the ritual.

And I’m a very spiritual person.

You know, you should try believing

in something bigger than yourself.

It might cheer you up.

Toby turns on his heels and walks off.

HARVEY:

(calling after him)

What? Do I seem depressed, Toby?

Toby doesn’t respond.

Harvey shrugs and digs deep into the jelly bean bag. He

pulls out a fistful.

.

CLOSE ON HARVEY’S HAND

Jellybeans in every imaginable color. Harvey fingers a few

and then picks a blue one.

BOB THE DIRECTOR (V.O.)

Cut!

CUT TO:

INT. V.A. HOSPITAL “SET” - PRESENT - DAY

HIGH DEFINITION VIDEO DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE

A few items from the previous scene are present on the sound

stage indicating that it’s a set of AMERICAN SPLENDOR -- The

Movie.

THE ACTOR HARVEY stands alone, his hand filled with Jelly

beans.

BOB THE DIRECTOR

Okay, that was great. The bakery

scene is next ...

ACTOR HARVEY steps out of the frame, revealing a craft

service table behind him. At the table, the REAL HARVEY and

the REAL TOBY load up on donuts. The two discuss the food on

the set.

36.

Ironically, the Real Toby is actually more extreme than the

Actor who plays him -- even more robotic, and completely

incapable of eye-contact.

The REAL TOBY discusses the finer points of nerdom and

evaluates the Actor’s nerd quotient. The Real Harvey

explains to Actor Toby that nothing -- not even gourmet jelly

beans -- would have cheered him up at that point in his life.

He was too lonely and depressed.

END HIGH DEFINITION VIDEO DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE

CUT TO:

INT. HARVEY’S BEDROOM - 1980’S - MORNING

Light pours through the curtained window.

Naked and disheveled, HARVEY tosses and turns in bed.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

My loneliness was unbearable, man.

Weekends were the worst. Sometimes

in my sleep, I’d feel a body next

to me like an amputee feels a

phantom limb.

EXT. PEDESTRIAN BRIDGE -- DAY

Extreme wide shot: a city-street overpass spans across the

entire frame. The lone figure of Harvey sulks there in the

middle, watching traffic pass below.

.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Sure my comics were bringin’ me

notoriety, but my personal life was

in shambles. I thought a little

attention would make me feel

better. It only made me feel

worse.

CUT TO:

EXT. BAKERY SIDE STREET - SPRING - 1980’S - MORNING

It is a beautiful, sunny day. The trees are in bloom.

There’s the first scent of spring in the air. Kids play in

the street. Music pours out of passing cars. Everyone seems

to have a smile on his or her face except HARVEY. He walks

on the shadowy side of the street.

37.

EXT. BAKERY STREET - SPRING

Establishing shot of HARVEY trudging into the bakery.

INT. BAKERY - SPRING - 1980’S - MORNING

A couple of WOMEN order bread and cookies from TWO COUNTER

GIRLS.

HARVEY surveys the donuts.

COUNTER GIRL #1

(yelling to Harvey)

Next!

HARVEY:

(to the Counter Girl)

Yeah! I’ll have two crullers, a

jelly donut with powdered sugar...

And you got any “day old bread”?

A woman with attractive Irish looks brushes past Harvey on

her way to the door. This is ALICE QUINN, roughly Harvey’s

age but there is a tired, weary look in her eyes.

ALICE:

Hey, you’re Harvey Pekar.

Half in a daze, Harvey stares at the chick.

HARVEY:

Yeah...

ALICE:

Alice Quinn. From school.

Harvey studies her face. Suddenly, it clicks.

HARVEY:

Oh yeah. College. We had a couple

lit classes together.

Harvey pays and receives his items. They step back towards

the door.

ALICE:

What happened to you? You just

disappeared after one semester.

Harvey scratches his armpit.

38.

HARVEY:

I know, man. I got good grades and

all but there was this required

math class. I can’t do math, an’

that required class hangin’ over my

head made me crazy. Eventually the

pressure got to be too much.

.

ALICE:

Well, you’re doing okay anyway. I

heard all about your jazz reviews

and your comics.

This perks Harvey up.

HARVEY:

Ya did?

ALICE:

Sure, you’re famous. Meanwhile I

got my degree but I’m just a plain

old wife and mother.

Harvey stares at her wedding ring. His face drops.

HARVEY:

Yeah. I’m not doing as great as ya

think. My second wife divorced me

and I work at a dead end job as a

file clerk. Sometimes I hang out

with the guys on the corner but

most of the time I just stay home

by myself and read.

Alice laughs.

ALICE:

You’re luckier than you think. My

husband and kids make it impossible

for me to cuddle up with a good

book.

CUT TO:

EXT. BAKERY - SPRING - 1980’S - DAY

HARVEY and ALICE continue their conversation as they stroll

towards her car.

HARVEY:

I’m reading this book by Dreiser

now -- JENNIE GERHARDT.

39.

ALICE:

That’s one of my favorites.

HARVEY:

I hope it don’t end like so many a’

those naturalist novels... With

someone getting crushed ta earth by

forces he can’t control.

Alice smiles.

ALICE:

I think you’ll be pleasantly

surprised. It’s certainly not a

Hollywood happy ending, but it’s

pretty truthful. Which is rare

these days ...

This hits home with Harvey. He can’t believe he’s made such

a connection with this woman.

Alice stops in front of a beat-up station wagon.

ALICE (cont’d)

This is me.

HARVEY:

Nice car. I don’t have one yet.

ALICE:

Can I give ya a lift somewhere?

HARVEY:

Nah. It’s a nice day. I’ll just

walk.

Harvey looks down, a little sad.

ALICE:

Well, we should have you over

sometime for dinner.

HARVEY:

Sure, I’d be glad t’come. But if

you really wanna do me a favor,

introduce me to some a’ your single

girlfriends. I bet they’re all

smart like you. I’m no catch,

though, so I’ll take anything you

can get me.

Alice pecks Harvey on the cheek.

40.

ALICE:

I’ll work on it.

She gets into the car.

ALICE (cont’d)

Nice seeing ya Harvey.

Harvey watches as she drives off.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

When I got home, I finished reading

JENNIE GERHARDT. It was real good,

way better than I expected. That

Alice wuz right.

INT. HARVEY’S LIVING ROOM - SPRING - 1980’S - NIGHT

The room is moody, dark and lonely. The shadowy figure of

Harvey sits on the floor devouring JENNIE GERHARDT.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Sure Lester -- the main character --

croaks in the end, but at least

he’s old and dies a natural

dignified death.

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