AmeriQua

1

[Burly rustic music]

[Rootsy rock music]

[Cell phone ringing]

Bonk!

- Oh, sorry.

- You're f***ing useless.

You know that we have to get out

of this place today.

- I--I said I'm sorry.

- Yes.

- Punk.

- I'll get you a box.

- Hello.

- Hello, Charlie?

- Oh, no.

- What?

- Hey, mom.

I was just packing.

I'm moving out of my house.

- Charlie, listen.

I've spoken with your father.

- You guys never talk.

- I haven't been able

to reach you

in an entire week, Charlie.

- I don't know why

you're calling me right now.

You knew

that I was moving out today.

I mean, I'm really busy.

I have a ton of stuff to pack.

- Yes, I know.

Did you know

that it's almost noon?

- Of course.

I just got back from the gym.

- Oh, come on, Charlie.

I'm your mother.

Charlie, what are you doing

with your life?

- What do--

- I should have insisted

that you get that m.B.A.

Oh, I don't know

what I'm getting so upset about.

Who knows?

Maybe you'll be--

maybe you'll--

you'll...

Be something.

- What--

what are you talking about?

- We've decided to cut you off.

- No--I mean--what?

You're doing what?

- We're stopping, Charlie.

We're done.

- Mom, I just graduated.

Come on.

I--of course I'm gonna find

a job,

but I want to find a good job,

and so I'm gonna take my time

to find it.

- I spoke with James whittaker.

[Menacing string music]

He's had your resume for months,

and you haven't had

the decency to call him back.

- You're cutting me off because

I didn't call James whittaker?

- You have to get a job,

Charlie.

You have to support yourself.

- Support myself?

What do you mean?

- Listen, Charlie.

No.

We've decided to give you some

money to help you get started,

but you have to be responsible

and independent.

- Mom--

- I'll have my assistant

transfer $5,000 to your account.

- $5,000?

- Oh, and listen, Charlie,

please don't call your father.

This is the first thing

in the last ten years

we've decided together on.

- Okay.

Thanks.

- Who called?

- That was my mother.

And not carrying good news.

I am no longer a welcome member

in the Edwards' household.

They've cut me off,

and I was given a severance fee

of $5,000

and a nice pat on the ass.

Can't go home.

Can't stay here.

- You know, at least you got

that five grand.

I mean, that's workable.

- It's not much to work with.

That's, like, what,

I don't know,

three months of rent?

- No, Charlie, look.

You could buy something nice

for yourself,

you know, get a f***ing maid.

You could go somewhere.

There's all types of sh*t

that you can do with five grand.

- Yes, like go somewhere,

somewhere far away.

Charlie Edwards takes

his last hurrah,

ride into the sunset

with his two-string guitar.

- [Chuckles]

- [Imitates metal guitar solo]

- You're a f***ing clown.

- I should really learn how

to play this thing.

Into the box.

[Upbeat rock music]

- [Whistles]

[Tires squealing]

- I am your captain

who is speaking.

We have reached our cruising

altitude of 10,000 meters.

Flying time to Rome is estimated

at 7 hours and 45 minutes,

piu 'o meno.

We have turned off

the seat belt sign,

and you are now free

to move about the cabin.

If you feel very free,

move into my cabin.

- I have no corkscrew.

We have to suffer.

Magic.

- It's the American way

to open a bottle.

- Well, please have

the first drink.

- Thank you.

- The cork is inside,

so we're going

to have to finish it.

- Thank you.

- I smell wine.

What kind of wine do you have?

- I mean, see for yourself.

- Ah, no.

Let me see the other one.

Give me.

Give, give.

Ah, negroamaro.

This is from salento,

near my home.

We will drink this one.

Della bologna.

Nice to meet you.

Ciao.

- Ciao.

- Lele.

Ciao.

Lele.

Ciao. Ciao.

- Open, open.

Open this bottle.

- God, I'm not gonna feel

my finger for a month.

- A month?

A month is nothing.

My whole life,

I want to come to America.

- And?

Did you have any fun?

[Sirens wailing]

- Please.

Let me stay here!

Tell her, b*tch!

I want to be an American.

Tell her!

- Fellas, put him back

on the plane.

- [Speaking italian]

No, no!

- You can't say that

to a woman in America.

Maybe, like, you should have

taken another English class

before going.

- His English is not so bad.

- Grazie.

- My American friend,

I am sorry.

I did not mean to insult.

We need more dialogue

between our countries.

- Yes!

- We need to fix

this relationship

between Italy and America, no?

We need to talk.

Principessa.

Pretty lady.

What's your name?

- Alessia.

- Alessia?

[Speaking Italian]

- So, alessia, why were you

in New York?

Were you in America?

- I was there for one year,

but when I broke up

with my boyfriend,

I decided to come home.

- Broke up with your boyfriend?

It's so sad.

[Speaking Italian]

- Also because American men

are so full of themselves.

- Si,i'd agree.

American men are so full--

agree, agree.

- Lele, what do you do?

- I am the king of bologna.

- You're the king of bologna?

- [Mockingly]

You're the king of bologna?

Yes, I am the king of bologna.

Charlie,

come visit me in bologna,

and I will show you the city.

It's my city.

It's my kingdom.

Here is my card.

Take it.

Alessia...

[Speaking Italian]

- But--

- [speaking italian]

Later.

So...

- Uh, lele.

[Both speaking Italian]

[Swaggering big band music]

- I'm sorry.

Do you want your book back?

- Uh, no, I don't need it

anymore.

Thank you.

- Attention, all passengers.

Rome airport has phoned us.

They say there is much traffic,

so we have to go

in a circle and wait.

I tell them there is

not so much gas left.

But don't worry;

It's not true.

I was trying to get

to the front of the line.

They say, "okay,

you have to land in napoli."

I try to say, "no, no,"

but they turn off the radio.

We will be on the ground soon,

and then go to Rome by bus.

Once again,

thank you for flying m.I.A.

[Upbeat rock music]

- Uh, I'm sorry.

Yes?

That's like--

- Charlie, hey.

Lele.

It's lele from the airplane.

- Hey.

- Hey.

You like the girls

with the money too, yes?

Eh?

[Laughs]

Yes, I know.

Hey, Charlie.

Now, let's go.

The airport is great.

It's full of--

- [Speaking Italian]

- It's full of girls.

Hey, this is my business card.

From bologna.

It's wonderful in bologna.

Let's go.

[Speaking Italian]

Charlie!

Charlie!

Ho!

Charlie!

I want to say sorry

about the girl.

But...

She lied.

She lied.

No buffer thong.

No underwear at all.

Nothing.

Just a big, big, big bush.

Trust me!

Believe me!

- [Laughs]

- Oh.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- Okay, okay.

Hold on.

Here, here, here.

I've got--

try this--

- no, no, not the flag.

No, no.

No, no.

[Speaking Italian]

[Cell phone rings]

- [Speaking Italian]

- No worries.

- No worries.

- No worries.

- Thank you.

Hey, man, come visit me

in bologna, no?

It's great there!

- Yeah, but--

- take it!

- [Speaking Italian]

- All right, listen, man,

I'm gonna go to Rome,

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