Amici miei - Come tutto ebbe inizio Page #6

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And in fact, brains are all the same.

Then you look down to her breasts and

think:
" No, we're not the same".

If they only were on the

back, those two big things!

With those little nipples!

- Like the one with the horsetail.

- Where is she?

- On the left.

- Stiff arse, let me pass!

- Shall we go eat?

- Alright.

Shall we go to the Ramaiolo's here

or up to Biagio's, the pistoiese?

As if I can make it to Pistoia!

I'll go to the Ramaiolo's.

- Just a moment, guys.

- What?

Oh, sure! One, two, three!

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

We're deciding who's

going to pay for you.

- What was it, Necchi?

- Three.

Four and four is

eight, nine ten, eleven.

Pay for me? But I'm a guest.

- Everybody's guest. Let's go for

a collection. - A collection? - Yes.

Or "subscription", if you prefer so.

I'm not a beggar, understand?

Before I was 21, I had a waiter

dress me up and undress me.

Count Mascetti spent a three

and a half year honeymoon...

...with his wife and a 6

feet tall bear on the leash.

Eighteen years ago, Count

Mascetti would have invited out...

...not only a bunch

of tramps like you...

...but also all the workers there under.

And if the factory owner hadn't

agreed, I would have bought it.

Is it clear? And now you want

to make a collection! Arsehole!

I won't accept a crust

of cheese from you.

I'll wait in the car. Eat well!

- He's really angry!

- Whatever, let's go.

After the noodles with the duck sauce...

- ...I'll have a skewer of liver the aretina way.

- Yes, but with fennels.

I'll have grilled mushrooms, instead.

I have seen someone

deliver huge mushrooms.

Then I'll have them as a start...

[He wasn't lying. Mascetti

ate up two fortunes:]

[...his own and his wife's.

Pride is all that's left to him.]

[It's difficult to help him. He only

accepts tokens and some hospitality.]

[Because hospitality is

a rule among gentlemen.]

[Moreover, he has a

personal idea of that...]

[...like two years ago,

when he lost his house.]

- Mr. Mascetti, may I?

- Come in.

Good morning. There's a telephone notice for

you. You should to call them back urgently.

Oh, brioche and cappuccino!

- A notice for me? Who can it be from?

- The public dormitory of Gavinana.

Oh, the holidaymakers!

Who knows what's happened?

I owe you a call, okay?

Oh! There have to be two cups. But

don't worry, I'll get the other one.

- Wanna know what your friend did?

- What.

- He brought a whore to our house!

- A whore! He can't pay for a whore!

Where is the bath?

- Sorry?

- The bath.

Oh! I'll tell you at once. It's

not easy to explain. I have to...

Down the corridor!

- How would you call someone like her?

- Her name is Titti.

She's colonel Ambrosio's daughter.

She's been Mascetti's

lover for six months.

He can't meet her at his father's place!

But he can here, can he?

Do you think this house is a motel?

I want you out of here in half an hour!

Public dormitory of Gavinana?

I'm Count Mascetti. My wife should be

there. Could you put me through to her?

[He called his wife and daughter

" the holidaymakers"...]

[because he had sent them to

his wife's hometown in May...]

[and he still hadn't found

the money to bring them back.]

It's snowed, Lello, almost two feet.

What? You almost give me a heart

attack to tell me it snowed?

That's good! So you and the

child will have some fun.

- Yes right.

- Build a snowman with a pipe.

- How about the shoes and the rest?

- What about shoes now?

We only have summer shoes!

But it's not only the shoes!

It's everything, Lello.

And how long will

Batacchi host us for free?

- Come on, it's only been two months.

- He hasn't been paid since July.

Come on! It's just a room

with the use of kitchen.

Who uses the kitchen anymore! Lello,

the child can't make it as well...

Alright, I'll get there and

fix everything. Don't worry.

Yes, but when will that be?

Let me organize myself. I can't tell

you at once. Let's see how things go.

Alright.

In any case, I'll call you back.

Please, be strong. Understand?

And tell the child:

"Dad said to be strong".

- Yes, she's a good child. Have no worries...

- Talk to you later. Bye!

- What happened?

- That friend of yours. He said his wife...

Did he? I'm going to fix that.

Thanks for your exquisite hospitality.

- Well? What about you?

- The suitcase.

You don't understand!

This house is still yours.

- Is it?

- Yep!

In my house I can have

guests. Here I can't.

Then, this isn't my house.

Stop being silly,

otherwise I'll get offended.

- If it was up to me...

- Give me the suitcase.

...but it's up to Carmen. Her

mentality is old-fashioned.

Old-fashioned? That's shopkeeper's mentality!

And yours too. You're two tobacconists.

Anyways, never mind. We're still

friends, but each one to his house.

[He meant my house, of course.]

Dad!

There's a naked woman in

my bed. Who the hell is she?

I think it's Mascetti.

Mascetti's a man. Will

you enlighten me, please?

You weren't there, she didn't know

where to go, I thought it was natural...

Everything is natural for you.

However, I'll stay in a hotel.

When you also find it natural

to free my room, let me know.

- Good night!

- Bye.

If you don't tell me what you did

at once, I throw the vitriol at you!

Drama is out of fashion!

You are the only man for me!

Titti, I can stand many things,

but don't fool me around!

Who's fooling you around?

I am too busy for that.

And don't read magazines

while I'm arguing with you!

- I called you seven times. Where were you? Whore!

- I went riding.

- Whom did you ride? B*tch!

- You'll wake up the whole building.

Sorry. But if she doesn't tell me

what she did from 4 to 8 o'clock...

...I'll dismantle her! Where were you?

- At school.

- But you said you went riding!

So what? I went to school then riding.

- At 7 pm horses are sleeping!

- Sorry.

Maybe she went riding

first and then to school.

I didn't go to school, nor riding!

You didn't? Then I'll kick

your arse and so you'll learn!

Ugly f*ggot!

- Damn you! - Take

this, arsehole! - No! No!

- Are you crazy?! Here!

- Titti:
Ah!

- Imbecile!

- No! Not Luciano's pipes!

- He cares for them so much...

- She's hysterical! - F*ggot!

- I'm going to kill you, you know?

- Here!

- Ouch! Ouch! No! Not Luciano's file!

- Okay, I'll forgive you!

I can come and go, go out

and back, I'll do what I want.

And see whom I want!

- Again!

- Then why did you swear I'm the only man for you?

Because it's true, silly!

- Don't offend me! Or

I'll... - You what? - I'll...

- Come here!

- Let go of me!

Hello, Melandri? Could

Mascetti stay at your place?

In about fifteen minutes. Yes.

Because I'll kick both out in a minute.

Bye, Titti.

- Hey, how are you?

- Well.

A litre.

A litre of gasoline.

Maybe it'll do. Are you going very far?

Yes. Far enough to throw myself

from the bridge:
myself, this car...

- ...my worries and all.

- Everything but me.

- What's wrong with you?

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