An Adventure in Space and Time Page #3

You'll get your time machine

when I can find a moment...

Too busy for a children's

programme, is that it?

Patience.

"If you could touch the alien sand

and listen to the sound of... "

Bugger!

"If you could touch the alien sand

and hear the cry of strange birds

"and watch them wheel in

another sky, would that satisfy you?

"Susan and I are cut off

from our own people.

"But one day we shall get back.

Yes. One day.

"One day. "

- Who's Susan?

- My granddaughter.

I'm your granddaughter.

Yes. Yes, of course you are, darling.

But she's my granddaughter in the

story I'm doing on the television.

I play a funny old man

who lives inside a magic box.

Like a jack-in-the-box, Sampa?

A little like that, yes.

But, this is a machine in disguise.

A time machine.

Do you know how to fly

a time machine, Sampa?

Hm? Yes! Yes, of course I do!

You'll see.

You'll see

when I'm on the television.

We'll be going back through history

to meet kings and queens.

And off to distant planets

where the Doctor will have

all kinds of adventures.

The Doctor?

He's the old man I'm playing.

A doctor?

Does he make people better?

No! I have... Don't you think you're

being rather high-handed, young man?

You thought you saw a young girl

enter the yard.

You imagine you heard music

or her voice?

You believe she might be in there?

Not very substantial, is it?

But why won't you help us?

I'm not hindering you.

You intrude here...

- He's tetchy as hell. - ... start

making accusations and implications.

If you both want to make

fools of yourselves,

I suggest you do what

you said you'd do.

Go and ask a policeman...

Bugger! Fetch a policeman.

While you nip off quietly

in the other direction, I suppose.

Come on, Barbara.

What are you doing out there,

Grandfather?

Go back inside! Shut the door!

Shut that door!

Barbara!

OK! OK, everyone.

Fantastic. That's where we stop the

tape and go inside the spaceship.

When it's built!

OK. Good. Well done.

Everyone happy?

No, I'm not happy. Not at all.

Er, Miss Lambert.

A word, if you please.

Coffee? Good idea. Thank you.

The set for the machine? TARDIS?

When is it arriving?

There's, er, there's been

a... delay.

It won't do. It just won't do.

I don't know how I'm expected to cope

with all the technical gibberish

I have to spout

without a bloody set to work on.

I'm sorry, Bill.

I need time to plot out

all the buttons, you see.

- Buttons? - On the controls!

All the switches and dials.

I need to know what they all do.

What if I press something

to open the doors

and the next week

I use it to blow us all up!

You must see that?

The children will spot it, you see,

if we try and fudge it.

And we must discuss my character.

Absolutely.

He's too abrasive.

Too nasty. Do you see?

Where's that twinkle

you talked about?

The thing that made me

so right for it?

I... Oh, Sydney!

Sydney Newman, Head Of Drama,

let me introduce you to

Mr William Hartnell.

Right! Our Doctor! Great choice.

I'm a big fan. Big fan.

Oh, thank you.

But I do need to discuss...

What was that terrific war picture,

you were in? What was that?

Well, I've done a few.

The Way Ahead?

Yeah! Hell of a picture.

You were sensational!

Oh! Do you really think so?

Oh, yes. Absolutely extraordinary.

I did get some very nice notices.

Yes.

Was that before or after

Brighton Rock?

Oh, before...

Of course!

You were in Brighton Rock! Wow!

What a performance!

Oh. Well. Ha-ha. You're very kind.

It should have led to much bigger

and better things, you know,

but, erm... I wasn't blessed.

Not blessed? What the hell

are you talking about?

Of course you're blessed. You're

going to be Doctor Who, aren't you?

- Well, yes... - Perfect choice for

my little show. My idea anyway.

That's what I do. Ideas!

One day I came into ITV.

"I got an idea," I said.

"The Avengers!"

"What's it about?" they said.

"How the hell should I know,"

I said. "But what a title!"

Pop! Pop! Pop!

You, sir, are going to make

a huge impact with this character.

I am?

Only a movie star could do it.

So nuanced.

So many layers.

Well, you know. One tries.

And these kids are perfect for it.

You couldn't be in safer hands.

Fun! Energy!

Youth! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Freaks.

Thank you so much, Sydney.

You've no idea

what a difference it makes...

Be a producer, Verity.

Find a way to deal with this stuff.

Or are you out of your depth?

What are you doing?

Being patient. What?

I can be very patient.

- You can't stay here! - Now, what

shall we talk about? I've got all day.

Don't be ridiculous!

The Old Curiosity Shop!

The Roman Forum!

The Hanging Gardens Of Babylon!

Symphonies in pencil and ink.

So, surely you can turn your hand

to my teeny little time machine?

Just turn that blazing talent

of yours to my little kiddies' show

and who knows what might happen?

Won't take you more than

half an hour.

You are a very trying woman.

Then I'll get out of your hair.

Maybe the muse will be with you!

Maybe it will be the best thing

you've ever thought of.

Very well! Very well!

Here. Here, madam.

Here's your bloody TARDIS!

Turned out rather well, hasn't it?

Through the cupboard doors

and into Narnia!

It's too bloody big.

Takes up half the studio.

Yes, yes?

Yes, yes, Waris, I heard him.

Thank you.

Right. Can you pass me my script,

please?

This is ridiculous!

Sorry, boys and girls.

He says he won't have

his teeth blacked out, Guv.

Dougie, it's 100,000 BC!

Yeah, I know.

It's the Tribe Of Gum.

He says he got them whitened

to get onto the telly.

Well, does it matter?

We only see his bloody shadow.

I'll do it! What?

I don't mind blacking my teeth.

I've already got sand fleas in my

Y-fronts. Can't get much worse.

OK, stout man!

I think we're sorted then, Guv.

Thank you, Duggie.

Red light, bell...

OK, into position, everyone,

and roll to record in 15...

God, it's hot in here.

Anyone else hot? Yeah.

Can we do something about the heat?

I thought he'd be used to it. What?

Nothing. Watch it, Arthur.

Five minutes, chum.

Then they turn the lights out.

Them's the rules.

OK, everyone. Quiet, please.

Quiet!

Five... four... three...

OK, come in to camera one, on one.

OK, clear two.

These people are known to you,

I believe.

What are you doing here?

They're two of my schoolteachers.

Is that your excuse for this

unwarrantable...

Unwarranted intrusion?

You had no right to invite them here.

I blame you for this, Susan.

You will insist on...

OK, come in on, er...

Come in on three.

- I warned you.

- But, Grandfather, I...

- Is this really where you live, Susan?

- Yes!

On three. Coming on one.

It was just a box!

On one, on three.

Come in on two.

You see, I knew this would happen.

Move the camera.

Get hold of the cable!

Get the cable!

Move the bloody camera!

Arthur, what the hell is he doing?

Why doesn't he have a go?

Now we are here, I'd just like to...

I know this is absurd, but...

The doors!

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