An Unmarried Woman Page #3

if I liked the shirt that, uh,

she was buying for her father.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry.

You tell Patti

You tell Patti that you're sorry.

I'm in love with her.

Ohhh.

- She a good lay?

- Oh, she

The first thing we have to do

is get you a good lawyer.

I just can't believe it.

I really liked Martin.

- This is not a time to pity Martin.

- I am not pitying Martin.

Move fast, Erica.

Don't let the thing drag on.

That's what I did.

It just hurts more and more.

- Get it over with.

- I don't agree with you.

There's nothing to talk about.

The son of a b*tch walked out

on a magnificent woman.

The son of a b*tch may walk

right back in in a month or two.

It sounds to me

like this thing's just sexual.

Would you take Harold back

if he told you he was having an affair?

Oh, hon, Harold has affairs.

He doesn't tell me about 'em.

I don't give a damn,

as long as we respect each other.

That's kind of

a weird contradiction, isn't it?

- My marriage isn't based on a king-sized bed.

- Neither was mine.

I know it wasn't.

There was a lot of love there.

That's why I'd hate to see it wasted

if there's any hope.

- There's no hope.

- You want him back?

Would you take that

miserable bastard back?

No.

- I don't think so.

- "Think"? You have doubts?

- Of course, she has doubts.

- Look, all I know is...

I feel completely and totally alone.

- That'll pass.

- Not if she sits on it, it won't.

Depression has a way

of getting nice and comfortable.

There are days

I really enjoy my black moods.

- It's like curling up

with a good detective story.

- Merde.

How would you know

if you were never there?

Hey, honey, these old bones

have known plenty of misery.

But I make it a point to get busy

as soon as I feel the blues comin' on.

Oh, God.

It was so much easier in the '60s.

We had Vietnam,

assassinations, the Black Panthers.

There was a hell of a lot to do.

Can even find a decent cause these days.

We could use a good war.

I could use a double vodka martini.

- Patti's so sad.

- She has a right to be. So do you.

I'm sad, Elaine.

I'm sad. I'm lonely.

I'm depressed.

What do you want me to say?

What do you want me to say?

Where you goin'?

See you guys next week.

Well, let me ride home with you.

- You sure you're all right?

- I'll call you later.

I think we made her

feel worse than she did.

I don't think

that marriage is over yet.

I hope Martin gets a permanent case

of the clap and his pecker falls off.

- Hello.

- F*** you.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I had a fight with Phil.

What about?

He was defending Daddy.

He doesn't think it was the right thing,

but he understands him.

Phil's a nice boy.

- I hate Daddy.

- He didn't leave you. He left me.

I still hate him.

You'll get over it.

I don't want to see him again.

Who you talkin' about

Phil or your daddy?

- Both of'em.

- That's crazy.

Then I'm crazy.

Okay, honey.

Oh, Mom.

- I hate him, Mom.

- Oh.

I hate him too.

Would you take him back?

Do you want him to come back?

Yeah. I guess so.

It's over, kiddo.

For good.

You'd better

get used to that, you know?

- Hello?

Hello, Phil.

No.

Yes. Star Wars. Mm-hmm.

No. Nothin'. Nothin'.

I thought we went over this?

Mm-hmm.

"Balls," said the queen.

"If I had 'em, I'd be king."

Well, if you won't sue me, Erica...

I'll tell you, uh, off the record...

that you're in very good health.

- Why am I tired all the time?

- It's called divorce.

Maybe I should take Valium

or something.

Come on.

We'll talk about it. Huh?

- Did you feel this way, uh,

before all this happened?

- Never.

- Never?

- Maybe I should see a psychiatrist, Arthur.

Erica, it's normal to feel lousy

when a husband walks out on you.

You'd have to be crazy to feel good.

It's only been a few weeks.

Some time has to pass.

- And I'm not saying you

shouldn't see a psychiatrist.

- You're just saying...

- Erica's in good health.

- Mmm.

Are you

Are you seeing other men yet?

No!

Well, don't be so shocked.

I'm not in the mood

for men, Arthur.

I wasn't referring to sex.

I mean, companionship.

Oh. Oh.

There are male companions

out there who don't wanna get laid?

Well, you

Well, you could have a drink with me.

Is that a pass, Arthur?

No, it was an invitation

to have a drink.

How come I never got an invitation

to have a drink when I was married?

Well, I don't know.

L I never thought about it.

It's a pass, Arthur.

A definite f***ing pass.

My relationship

with Hal is totally honest.

He doesn't tell me he loves me.

I don't tell him he's fascinating.

- It's pure sex.

- You always were different.

Not always.

- I've just learned to live

with my ups and downs.

- I don't know how you do it.

I like my job.

I like my friends.

I like my holidays.

Oh, I'm going to the Catskills next week!

There's a new swami in town.

You wanna go?

Uh, well, my spiritual life is just fine.

What's spiritual?

There'll be some gorgeous men there.

- What does this Bob do?

- He's a press agent

Broadway shows, movies.

Hal says he's a nice guy.

- If he tries to touch me, I'll break his arms.

- Relax.

- Waiter.! Waiter.!

Right here, pal.

These are fantastic.

These are like claws, Bob.

- Oh, yeah?

- Claw things.

- Oh, yeah.

- We'll take all four of these.

- Take 50,000 of'em, if you got 'em.

- I don't know if I can

- What do you call these?

- Thank you.

- Claws.

- Claws.

Erica, have a claw.

Unbelievable.

Give her some of those, uh...

the shrimp with the, uh

What do you call the shrimp

with the white paper on the end?

- Paper shrimp.

- Paper shrimp. Give us some of those, okay?

- Okay, anything else?

- That's fine. Paper shrimp. Thank you.

Do you work, Erica?

Yeah, I, uh

I work part time at, uh

The Rowan Gallery in Soho?

- Oh, I've never been there.

- It's a good gallery.

- We could all take a walk there later.

- That would be nice.

- Do you paint?

- No. L I studied painting...

- but I'm not an artist.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm in public relations.

What are you working on?

Well, right now it's a new picture

about an ex-Vietnam vet...

who comes back to a small

Midwestern town and shoots 300 people.

- That should make a fortune.

- I think I saw it.

- I don't think so, Hal.

- I saw it, I'm telling you.

You couldn't.

They haven't made it yet.

- Sounds familiar.

- Erica.

Claire! Hi!

- It's nice to see you.

- Remember Allison?

Hi.

How you doin'?

- Hey, I called you about a hundred times.

- Yeah.

- You're never in.

- I know. I know.

Oh, excuse me. This is, um, Bob.

And this is Claire and Fred

and Allison and Elaine and Hal.

- Hal. I'm Hal.

- Fred. Nice to meet you.

- How are you? Glad to know you.

- Can we have lunch next week?

- Yeah. I'll call you.

- Okay.

I will.

- Want a bear claw, honey?

- Oh, she's full.

- I'm sorry, Erica.

Call us if you need anything.

- I will. Thank you.

- Please call me.

- Yeah! I will.

Bye-bye.

Hal, this is great.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

What are those things that would come

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