Angels In The Outfield Page #2

The press are all scum.

They're meant to be kept waiting.

- Ranch Wilder's worse than scum.

- Who's fault is that? That is not my fault.

What ever happened to Barney or Bailey,

or whatever the jerk's name is?

You fired him and they

hired me on Monday.

Then I can't officially fire

you until Friday. Make a note.

Uh, where, where, where?

All right, all right.

Microphone?

Thrown out of the game. I imagine

the commissioner's finally happy.

We're on in three, two, one.

And we're back with Angels' manager

George Knox. This was a tough loss today.

- Any loss is hard.

- But this one really got to you.

You leave Cincinnati after ten years of winning

ball clubs, although the really big one...

always seemed to be just out of reach,

and you come out here to manage our Angels.

Now, expectations were high that

you could turn this team around,

but that just doesn't seem to be happening.

- Season's only half over, Ranch.

- And your club's in last place.

You oughta know how one incident

can change the course of events.

Well, you know, you play the

game, you take your chances.

- Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

- Yeah, you're an expert at that.

- I could say the same about you.

- Well, actions speak louder than words.

- Well, that'll wrap things up here in the field…

- Hey, I'm still on the air here.

Oh, yeah? Ooh!

We're speaking with Angels'

manager George Knox. George?

And, uh, we'll be right back.

Oh, Roger, you haven't eaten a thing.

I'm not hungry.

Miguel, you have to miss

the baseball game tomorrow

I'm sorry, your social worker

called and you have an interview.

She'll be here at 11:00.

Good, I don't want to go to the

game anyway. Angels never win.

I want to go to the game.

They could win. It could happen.

Yeah, and you could drop dead

after dinner with food poisoning.

Leave him alone!

Boys! Hey, look what we've

got for dessert. Jell-O.

- Yea!

- It's not really Jell-O.

It's cat brains with food coloring.

She kills 'em at night...

- and feeds 'em to us to save money.

- Shut up, Miguel!

Roger, you know we do not use

those words in this house.

Meow!

And you know I would never use

food coloring on my cat brains.

- Okay, did we wash our faces?

- Yeah?

Brush our teeth? Been to the bathroom?

Did you pick the lint from

between your toes? Yeah?

- Did you say your prayers?

- Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Night.

- Night, Maggie.

- Goodnight, Maggie.

- I didn't say my prayers.

- I didn't wash my face.

- What's lint, again?

- Shut up, butthead!

Why do we gotta sleep in these sleeping bags?

I haven't peed the bed in a long time.

You peed the bed last week.

She makes us sleep in sleeping bags 'cause

she too old to bend over and tuck in sheets.

- She isn't too old. She's got a lot to do.

- Did you guys pray?

I pray every night you go to bed without

buggin' us with a thousand stupid questions.

Maybe tomorrow you'll meet

a nice family, Miguel.

I'll pray for that. It could happen.

God...

If there is a god...

If you're a man or a woman,

if you're listenin',

I'd really, really like...

a family.

My dad says that'll only happen

if the Angels win the pennant.

The baseball team, I mean.

So, maybe you could help 'em win a little.

Amen.

Uh, and a woman too.

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

- You feelin' any better today, George?

- Why would I be feelin' better?

Commissioner fined you

$5,000 for jumpin' Gates.

And word has it Ranch is pressin'

civil charges for you poppin' him.

Come to think of it,

I have felt better since I slugged Wilder.

- Your pistol's smokin', pal.

- I hadn't made the connection.

I know you and Wilder have been at each

other's throats since you were players.

Yeah, we've been at each other's throats since

he spiked my knee and ruined my career.

- Accidents happen, George.

- It wasn't an accident.

When you slide into a catcher

with your nails up, it's on purpose.

I was comin' into my best years.

Now, don't go makin' more

cow-pies to step in, George.

You got enough manure

on your boots now.

Control yourself today.

Ladies and gentlemen, a reminder

that every Wednesday is Kid's Day.

Whoa! I see better seats!

Much better seats! Come on, J.P.

Tickets are available the day of

the game at the stadium box office.

- All right!

- Thank you.

- Great seats.

- Yeah.

- This is much better than the tree.

- I'll say.

Hey, Skip. Trainer says I'm ready to pitch.

When am I gettin' off the injured list?

How's never sound? You're here 'cause you

got a contract that pays you to be here.

You blew your arm out.

Played on too many pain pills.

Pain pills? You were the one stuffin' 'em

down my throat five years ago in Cincinnati.

Hey, it was your decision to swallow 'em.

I had a brain.

When you were finished, I traded you. I

never thought I'd get stuck with you again.

Why, you rotten...

That's not contagious, is it? Outta my way.

I got a ball club to manage.

♪ And the rocket's red glare ♪

♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ Gave proof through the night ♪

♪ That our flag was still there ♪

♪ Oh, say does that Star-Spangled ♪

♪ Banner yet wave ♪

♪ O'er the land of the free ♪

♪ And the home of the brave. ♪

Whoo-oo!

I guess no matter how many times

you hear that song played...

in a major league stadium

on a warm afternoon,

it's still emotionally evocative.

Drop dead. I got sunscreen in my eyes.

Will I win, will I win,

will I win, win, win?

Aw!

- Yeah!

- Jose, can you see?

- Wait a second. The first word is “Jose”? I thought it was...

- It's Jose. We know.

Wow! It's about a Spanish guy!

♪ Jose, can you see ♪

- I don't believe him.

- It's so easy.

Whit Bass takes the mound

with his trademark slide.

His oddball antics are by

now well known to the fans.

That's right, Ranch. This season

alone we've seen him lick dirt,

eat bugs and floss his

catcher's teeth in the dugout.

None of that, may I add,

seems to have helped his pitching.

He's two and eleven.

Leading off for the Blue Jays, number 22,

third baseman, Orin Farley.

And after hardly any warm-up,

Bass signals he's ready.

Mm! Hmm, hmm!

Huh?

First pitch of the game and the Angels

have an error and a man on base.

So the fifth inning goes into the books

with the score nothing to nothing.

The Angels thus far have been able to

keep the hard-hitting Blue Jays silent.

But as we head into the sixth, the Jays

have the middle of the order coming up...

with the ever-dangerous

Asher Lazzato leading off.

Number 31, left fielder, Asher Lazzato.

Bass sets...

and sets... and sets again.

Please, just throw the ball.

Here's the pitch.

And Lazzato smashes one to deep center!

I don't think Williams

will get to this one.

Oh!

And Ben Williams makes

a miraculous catch.

- Holy cow!

- How'd he do that?

Yeah, holy cow!

How'd he do that?

How did he do that?

That, sports fans, is a play

you're going to see run

in baseball highlights for years to come.

- Get me something here! Come on, come on!

- We got it.

Get me something! I'm hangin', I'm hangin'!

This is dead airtime!

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