Angels In The Outfield Page #4

- I got soda.

- No!

I'm all wet.

Get up in front of me, now! We're gonna

dry off. Leave your popcorn there.

- Hey, what happened to you?

- Those kids, they're evil.

The big one might be

lucky, so keep him happy.

- J.P., let's go!

- We gonna win today, kid?

- Maybe.

- Maybe?

I don't know. It's your team.

Don't remind me.

Sit down!

Oh, please, don't drink me.

No, no, no, don't, don't!

Shh. Shh-shh.

This is between you and me, little guy.

No one can see me but you.

- Remember?

- Oh... hi.

Sit down, already.

I left in a hurry yesterday.

I forgot a few of the rules.

Numero uno:
Don't tell anyone about us.

Now, I heard you already told

a little kid and El Capitan.

But nobody else. We hate recognition.

We're a very sensitive group.

If people know we're around,

I wouldn't be able to get an

angel within a mile of this team.

- Okay. Are you guys gonna help out today?

- We'll see.

We never make commitments.

We go and come and come and go.

We're a capricious crowd.

What's capri... What's capricious?

Just keep your chin up and your

eyes open and enjoy the game.

You popped Al!

- Who's Al?

- Al's the boss angel.

- He was just here, but he's gone now.

- Next time will you tell me sooner?

I'd like to try and see one.

Mr. Knox, over here!

Mr. Knox, over here!

Mr. Knox, come on, come on! Mr. Knox!

I just saw an angel!

- You saw an angel?

- Yeah. In my Coke cup.

- In your... Coke cup?

- Yeah.

Okay...

I gotta get back to the dugout.

What should I do if I see another one?

Kid, I was thinking of you

as a sort of good luck charm.

Not as someone who

spiritually hallucinates.

- What's that?

- It means, if you see anything weird,

keep it to yourself.

But, wait! You should know. You're the

manager and the angels are here to help.

- And if I don't tell you, you're not gonna know...

- Okay. Just calm down.

In baseball, we got... signals.

Make some kind of signal. Okay? I can't

come over here every couple of seconds.

Um... I'll go like that, okay?

You do that. That's fine.

- And we can't let David know.

- Yeah, right. Absolutely.

We can't tell David. Can't tell anyone.

Thank you.

- Here.

- Yeah.

Thanks.

Thanks. Oh, and excuse me,

David, where are the nachos?

I'm saving them for later.

Sorry!

Number 17, first baseman, Tom Brewer.

Bass takes the sign. Here's the pitch.

And it's lined to left

for another base hit.

So it's more bad news for manager Knox...

as he does his dance in the dugout.

Mapel waits for the pitch.

- Strike!

- Strike? Aw, come on! Now that's no strike!

If that was a strike,

then you blind as a horse's ass!

Come on. Let me have some... gimme this.

Mr. Knox.

- Yeah?

- It's nacho butt.

Go buy the kids nachos.

Anything... but nachos.

- Buy them Angel's jackets.

- It's 90 degrees outside.

Get your butt up there now!

You know, it's been four

innings and no real angels yet.

I was just thinking, maybe you shouldn't swear

so much. I bet the angels don't like it.

Shhhoot.

You stupid sons of... a kid!

Man, he is a deadbeat.

Let's keep the profanity down!

- Huh?

- I mean it, no swearin'!

That eliminates all speech

for most of the team.

So here in the ninth, the Athletics

have opted to bring in reliever...

Tom Ruddy to pitch to Angels heavy

hitter, Ray Mitchell.

- Oh-ho, wow!

- What happened?

There's an angel right next to Hemmerling.

Uh, David, I-I need a drink.

- You have drinks.

- I don't want these. I want somethin' else.

What else?

Uh... coffee.

You drink coffee?

Yeah. Of course. All the time.

All the time. What do you think we are, little

kids? Now, get me a cup or I'll scream.

How do you take it?

In cups.

Mr. Knox! Mr. Knox!

Come over here. We got one!

Hey.

What's goin' on?

- There's an angel with Hemmerling.

- What?

There's an angel massaging

Hemmerling's shoulders.

This is ridiculous.

I don't know what you see,

but there's no one with Hemmerling.

She's rubbing his shoulders.

- Huh?

- And what should I do about it?

Put him in. Pinch-hit.

I got Mitchell coming up.

He's my best hitter.

Hemmerling can't hit

the broadside of a barn.

I can't substitute my worst

hitter for my best hitter.

- If you want a hit, you'll put in Hemmerling.

- It's crazy! Wacko.

You forget about it.

- But he's got an angel.

- Ah!

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Are we gonna fall out of last place?

Sit down, Mitchell! You're up, Hemmerling.

Huh?

- What are you talkin' about?

- Yeah?

You heard what I said.

You're out and you're in.

You gotta be stupid!

Hey, get your stuff!

As Mitchell was getting ready to lead off,

Knox has suddenly decided to pinch hit.

And he's bringing in Danny

Hemmerling, the utility infielder,

who is known, sports fans, for his

glove, but definitely, not for his bat.

Hemmerling for Mitchell?

Go back to Cincinnati!

Strike!

Where'd they go?

- Strike!

- See the pitch?

What the...

♪ For goodness sake ♪

♪ I got the hippy-hippy shakes ♪

♪ Yeah, I got the shakes ♪

♪ I got the hippy-hippy shakes ♪

- ♪ Ah, I can't stand still! ♪

- Go, go, come on!

- ♪ With the hippy-hippy shakes. ♪

- Hey, uh...

♪ Yeah, the way I feel now ♪

♪ Well the hippy-hippy shakes ♪

♪ Yeah, real bad ♪

♪ Oooh the hippy-hippy shakes ♪

♪ Well, now you shake it to the left ♪

- Go, go, go!

- ♪ You shake it to the right ♪

- Throw it!

- Safe!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

Hemmerling scores for the first time

this season and the Angels win the game.

This will go down in the record books.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is unbelievable!

This is insanity!

I've never seen anything like this.

And obviously, neither have these umps.

I don't know.

Yeah! All right!

Something's going on with this kid.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we now say

the Angels are on a winning streak?

Or were these last few games just a small blip

on the screen of a terminally ill patient?

Only time will tell.

What is going on? Where are my stats?

I'm on the air!

My ass is hanging on the air,

and there are no stats. How many errors?

- There were a lot of errors.

- Not as many as in this booth.

Let me tell you, this is not baseball.

- Ow!

- David.

Whatever your duties before, forget 'em. From

now on, these boys will be at all our games.

- All right!

- That's your job.

I want to remind you, you are gonna

fire me on Friday, aren't you?

- You've bonded with the boys.

- Bonded?

- You're gonna stick around, David.

- Yeah, stick around.

- You got job security.

- Job security? Who knew?

So, you're right.

Hemmerling came through.

- Yeah, 'cause the angel.

- Ah, whatever.

- We got angels helping the team.

- Ah, well, that may be, but we're winning.

Yeah. All the games, man!

Can you believe it?

When we're on the road,

you should watch the games on TV.

We'll figure out a way for

us to talk on the phone.

You mean, the phone in the dugout

you're always yellin' into...

- and banging against the wall and spitting at?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Cool!

What a game. First time Hemmerling

got a hit, let alone a home run.

- It's 'cause of the angels; They helped him.

- Get in.

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