Animals United Page #3

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(GULPS)

(ALL GRUNT)

It wasn't me.

(DlSTANT HOWLING)

(SNORES)

- Socrates?

- Mm-hmm?

What's the story behind your scar?

I was very young, inexperienced,

rash and very hungry.

- My brother and l...

- Wait! You had a brother?

His name was Mambo.

We were inseparable.

Racing across the Savannah,

chasing buffalo and hunting antelope.

- Hold on... But you're a vegetarian!

- Youth, you see. l was a cub.

That was ages ago.

So Mambo and I,

though forbidden by our parents,

walked right up to the Valley of Death.

And, as you can imagine, there was

a good reason we were forbidden.

After all, this is where

the elephants came to die.

But we knew no fear

and we were driven by curiosity.

(BlRDS SQUAWKlNG)

(SQUAWKS)

(GUNSHOT)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Mambo?

(ROARS)

- Was it the leopard?

- No, Billy. lt wasn't the leopard.

It was a creature

I've never seen before, or since.

That's creepy.

But from that day, my only wish

is for all the animals of the Savannah

to live in peace and harmony.

Cock-a-doodle...

(COUGHS)

All right! Comrades, morning is 'ere.

We must set off before the sun is 'igh.

You'll have to go on without me.

I'm much too weak.

Non! I will stay with Sushi

and the tortoises and look after them.

As for the lion and the euh...weasel,

they will find the water.

And Toby and Smiley

will accompany them. Humph!

(RATTLlNG)

Shh.

(GASPS)

(GULPS)

(DOOR OPENS, THEN CLOSES)

(DlSTANT THUD)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

Here at the Eden Paradise Hotel,

we now find the participants

of the 168th Conference

on Climate Change in attendance.

And here is someone who is clearly

not the least impressed with any of it.

Hello, I'm Maya. For sure, we all know

what happens at these things.

You grown-ups love to hear each other

talk and talk and nothing ever happens!

I'm sure you're all awaiting the results

of the conference, as we are.

- (JAZZ MUSlC)

- (HE HUMS ALONG)

(MAN) ladies and gentlemen,

I welcome you all to the Eden Paradise

as guests of the Climate Conference.

The important job of the buffet opening

falls to our very own house mascot.

It's true, may l present...Toto!

(APPLAUSE)

- The water's trapped like a rat.

- Who would do such a thing?

(FUNKY MUSlC)

(SOCRATES) Going a bit fast, aren't we?

Woooah!

Billy, they've stolen your idea.

Hmm... How do they get

the hyena poo-poo so round?

I love it, l love it, l love it. Cool!

(BOTH CHEER)

(BURPlNG)

Give me five! Whey-hey!

Australians!

Oh, he's so cute!

(ROARS)

(SCREAMS)

What?! Hunter!

They're a strange breed of monkey.

- (ROARS)

- (SIGHS)

They're cute, though.

A little funny-looking, but cute.

See you later, Billy.

Now! Where's the beast, huh?

(BlLLY) Ahh!

(BlLLY SHOUTS lN FEAR)

Cannonball!

Ha-ha-ha... Jaw.

Come on. Over here!

(BlLLY) No! No!

You must know, l saved

your life on my lunch break, humph!

Er, now, now, gentlemen,

if you please...

I can guarantee you personally that

this whole unfortunate fiasco is over.

RAAAH!

- His ears have gone red.

- Here it comes!

(BUBBLING, THEN FARTS)

Smiley, I can't think of a better argument

for good, clean outdoor living.

(SMlLEY LAUGHS)

(SNIFFS)

Eurgh!

(BEEPING)

Actually, the wellness suite

is solely for paying hotel guests.

Mm, wild!

Eh, Smiley, you try it on.

(DOOR OPENS)

Two words, gentlemen:

mini bar, capiche?

(TOTO) Voil!

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hands off! This is the honeymoon suite.

OK, I'll watch for Hunter.

You do not wanna mess around with him.

You'd better behave yourselves,

if you know what's good for you!

Cool.

Hold on. Better

we don't take a single shot.

We hate bad press.

Instead, catch and send it

to our casino in Vegas.

At least we can make a profit

out of this whole mess.

I don't trust that monkey.

(BEEPING)

(DANCE MUSIC)

Didn't l tell you not to touch anything?

(BURPlNG)

Where is the armchair?

Oh...you uncultured pig!

We sit on chairs, we don't eat them!

Raah?

- And where's the little guy?

- Billy is in the water cave.

# Splish-splash, l was taking a bath

# All-about-a Saturday night, ooh

# Rub-a-dub, just relaxing in the tub

# Thinking everything was all right #

That's quite enough

rub-a-dubbing for today!

I happen to have a job here,

and l have no desire to get

into trouble on account of you!

I worked hard to get my position.

What is it you want from me?

We want water!

Ah, right here you have water!

- So now if you would get out.

- One thing.

Why on earth did you help us

by hiding us in here?

Because with Hunter,

you would have been killed.

So, l see. You are one of us, after all.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I was born in a Brooklyn zoo -

not that you know what that means.

I'm very, very sorry

but you're dead wrong

and l am certainly

not who you think l am!

I am not one of your kind for sure!

We need water! l mean lots of water!

For all of us!

Good. Then we go over to the dam,

open the floodgates,

and run the water to your valley.

And then you folks get lost!

(MAN) And so what we have created is

what we like to call an oasis of peace.

In total harmony with nature,

which is of course the key,

and that's called ecological tourism.

The result:
guaranteed sustainability,

with enough electricity

generated to power several cities.

You can imagine the benefits

for the local economy.

You should imagine what that means for

the poor animals that live downstream.

- Erm...

- They're dying of thirst without water!

Maya, go to your room at once.

You know nothing of this.

It's always about money, right?

That's all you ever think about.

These kids... Go figure.

And now, if you would follow me

into the complex interior.

I'll go in there, open the spout,

then l'll come back out.

Meanwhile, you make sure

you do not move from this spot!

(SMlLEY GRUNTS AGREEABLY)

(BlLLY) Yoo-hoo!

(HUMS)

Yes!

As you can imagine, the most modern

and stringent security measures

are utilised in this

most sensitive of areas.

Everything is state of the art

and hermetically sealed.

Unauthorised access

is totally out of the question.

Socrates!

Oh, l feel rather woozy.

I'm coming!

- (ALARM GOES OFF)

- Ooh...

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Not again!

(SHOUTlNG)

Raaah! Raaah!

Come, if you are man enough to do it!

En garde.

(CHARLES) Hmm...

Thanks.

Oh, no, that's totally not fair.

No, no, no!

Brave veterans, can you stand the pace?

We're fine, thank you. Though we're not

quite as young as we used to be.

Well, l see, heeh-heeh...

a beauty in the prime of her life.

Well, l'm 715 years old.

Winston is twelve years older.

She has aged splendidly,

my dear little lotus blossom.

You, with the sweet talk.

Ahh...l'amour!

The 'eroism of the tortoises

has saved us all,

but without water all that awaits us

is certain death.

And we are doomed if we go back

to free Socrates and release the water.

We are much too weak.

Then we have to get help!

We'll call all the animals of the Savannah.

Excellent, weasel!

Daddy? What are you doing with the lion?

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