Animus Page #2

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OR AT LEAST I THINK IT WAS THE

SPRINKLERS.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN CAT PISS FOR

ALL I KNOW.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I SMELL.

THAT'S JUST MY MAN SMELL.

DON'T LIE, GIRL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT.

SO, A REAL MAN SMELLS LIKE

DEAD YETI.

GOOD TO KNOW.

[ ALL LAUGH ]

WOW, MAYA.

THANKS AGAIN FOR BRINGING ME

ALONG FOR THIS.

I'M SUCH A SUCKER FOR GOOD

CONVERSATION.

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

WHAA!

CHEETOS.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]

THANK GOD.

I'M GOOD.

YOU BETTER BE, PEANU BLADDER.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I'M SORRY.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU BETTER BE.

LET'S GET GOING.

I'M ALMOST DONE!

I'M GOOD!

AND THE QUEEN VICTORIA STILL

REMAINS.

YOU HAVE TO PEE?

FUNNY.

COME ON.

[ LAUGHTER ]

RIDICULOUS.

ARE YOU DONE?

[ SIGHS ]

REALLY?

NICE.

OH, GOD!

LUCAS, WHAT THE F***?

HEY!

YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY

LAST INTERNSHIP?

YOU GET A MOVIE?

NOT EXACTLY.

MORE LIKE HARDCORE PORN.

THAT'S HOT.

YOU KNOW YOU FIT RIGHT IN

THERE.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT.

IT'S EVERYTHING YOU'RE

THINKING.

JUST GROSS!

BY THE END OF THE DAY, I FEL LIKE I HAD SUCTION CUPS ON THE

BOTTOM OF MY SHOES.

I KEPT STICKING TO THE FLOOR AND

SH*T.

WE HAD A QUICK BREAK WHILE THEY

WOULD LIGHT THE NEXT SET.

SO, I'D GO OVER TO CRAF SERVICE, WHICH CONSISTS OF A

COUPLE CEREAL BARS AND A BIG

PUNCH BOWL FULL OF M&Ms.

AS I GO TO GRAB SOMETHING, ONE

OF THE "ACTORS" WALKS UP AND

WITHOUT ANYTHING GOING STARTS TO

F*** HIMSELF RIGHT IN FRONT OF

ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THEN THE F***ER HAS THE

NERVE TO ASK ME ABOUT THE

WEATHER, LIKE I'M

GEORGE MICHAEL, AND WE'RE IN A

PUBLIC RESTROOM.

SO, HE'S TRYING TO HOLD A...

AND WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, HE

TAKES HIS DICK HAND AND STICKS

IT RIGHT IN THE BOWL, TAKING A

BIG HANDFUL OF M&Ms.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THEN HE GOES ABOUT HIS

BUSINESS LIKE HE DOES IT ALL THE

TIME.

THE F***ER HAD A FREE HAND AND

STILL CHOSE TO DIG IN THERE WITH

HIS GOOEY HAND.

F***ING DICK.

IT WAS JUST SICK.

I FELT LIKE I NEEDED A SHOWER

AFTER THAT.

[ LAUGHS ]

IS THIS IT?

NOT MUCH GOING ON HERE, IS

THERE?

WELL, AFTER THE COPPER RAN

OUT, THE TOWN POPULATION WEN FROM, LIKE, 7,000 TO 50

PRACTICALLY OVERNIGHT.

IT SAYS IN THE EARLY 1890s, A

COUPLE CONCEIVED THEIR FIRS CHILD IN THE BOTTOM OF THE PIT.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS.

AND THEY STILL LIVE DOWN

THERE TODAY.

IN A MASS ORGY, RIGHT WHERE

YOU SEE THAT BIG SPOT.

DUDE, LOOK AT IT.

SERIOUS.

IT'S THE PERFECT PLACE FOR A

GREAT ORGY.

POSING FOR PICTURES -- HERE

WE GO.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

ALL RIGHT.

WELCOME, FOLKS.

HI, SIR.

I'M MAYA, AND WE'RE FROM THE

UNIVERSITY UP HERE DOING A

DOCUMENTARY FOR A CLASS ON THE

OLD HOSPITAL.

OH, AIN'T NOTHING WORTH

DOCUMENTING UP THERE, GIRL.

EVEN WITH ALL OF THE GHOSTS?

GHOSTS?

IS THAT RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

UH, YEAH.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE

COPPER QUEEN?

YEAH.

IT'S BEEN UP THERE MY WHOLE

LIFE.

ONE OF THE UNFORTUNATE 50, I

GUESS.

SOMETHING FUNNY?

OH, NO. SORRY.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET THERE?

YOU'D HAVE TO BE BLIND TO

MISS IT.

SOMETIME AROUND 1910, I THINK

DURING THE TAFT PRESIDENCY, THE

HOSPITAL WAS OPEN TO ACCOMMODATE

THE INFLUX OF MINERS AND THEIR

FAMILIES GOING TO WORK ON THE

MULE.

I'M SORRY -- THE MULE?

MULE MOUNTAINS.

AT ITS PEAK, OUR POPULATION ROSE

TO OH, ABOUT 9,000.

BUT BY THE 1950s, BOOM TIMES

WERE OVER.

PEOPLE BEGAN TO LEAVE TOWN.

AT THE TIME, THE HOSPITAL BECAME

A SPECIAL-CARE FACILITY AND

CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT THEY TOLD

US.

WASN'T UNTIL THE '70s, AFTER THE

PLACE WAS SHUT DOWN, THAT WE

STARTED TO HEAR ABOUT THE THINGS

THEY ACTUALLY DID THERE.

MISS, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE

HOSPITAL IS HAUNTED?

UM, WELL, I DON'T KNOW FOR

CERTAIN.

I'VE HEARD LOTS OF STORIES, BU I PERSONALLY HAVEN'T SEEN

ANYTHING.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

WELL, LIKE I SAID, I HAVEN' SEEN ANYTHING MYSELF, BUT MY

BEST FRIEND AT THE TIME, SONNY?

SHE COME OVER TO MY HOUSE,

TERRIFIED ONE ONE NIGHT BY WHA SHE HAD SEEN.

IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS HOPPED UP ON

SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?

ALL MANIC.

AS LONG AS I'D KNOWN HER, I

NEVER SEEN HER LIKE THAT.

SO, THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING

TO IT.

SONNY WOULDN'T LIE TO ME.

WHAT WERE THEY DOING?

THEY WERE TORTURING THOSE

POOR KIDS WITH THA ELECTRIC-SHOCK THERAPY.

AND THEY'D BEEN DOING IT FOR

YEARS.

MOST OF THE PATIENTS WERE WARDS

OF THE STATE LABELED WITH SOME

SOCIAL-BEHAVIORAL DISORDER OR

DIAGNOSED WITH SOME MENTAL

ILLNESS.

SO, THEY WERE EASY PREY.

ALL THIS CAME OUT AFTER THA F***ING DOCTOR WAS FOUND.

THE SCANDAL, MIXED WITH THE

CLOSURE OF THE MINE, ALMOST SHU THIS TOWN DOWN.

NOW WE'RE JUST A BOOMTOWN

WASTELAND.

SHE SAID SHE SAW A SHADOWY

MAN WHO SEEMED TO FLOAT THROUGH

THE WOODS -- AND SHE WAS

PETRIFIED TELLING ME THIS! --

DRAGGING A DEAD BODY BEHIND HIM.

NO, IT'S ALL BULLSHIT, LADY.

EVEN WITH ALL THE STORIES?

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE

STORIES!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

MY AUNT -- I MEAN, BACK IN '93?

MAN, SHE SAID SHE SAW ELVIS A THE PIGGLY WIGGLY.

MAN, I WAS AT THE STOP-N-GO ONE

TIME, AND I SAW SOMEBODY.

IT WASN'T WHO I THOUGHT IT WAS,

BUT I SAW HIM.

BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE A

MARMOT.

BUT PEOPLE SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO

SEE, LADY.

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW -- DON' LISTEN TO NOBODY.

IT'S ALL BULLSHIT, REALLY.

[ HORN HONKS ]

EXCUSE ME, SIR?

COULD YOU TELL US ABOUT THE OLD

HOSPITAL?

WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS?

OH, I'M SORRY.

I'M MAKING A DOCUMENT--

LEAVE IT ALONE.

THAT PLACE CAUSED THIS TOWN MORE

TROUBLE.

YOU CITY RATS -- YOU DON'T KNOW

A DAMN THING ABOUT IT.

UM...THANK YOU!

ALL RIGHT.

ON TO THE NEXT CROTCHETY, OLD

BASTARD.

HAVE YOU BEEN OUT THERE SINCE

SHE TOOK YOU?

COME CLOSE A COUPLE OF TIMES,

BUT ONLY IN BROAD DAYLIGHT AND

WITH A SHITLOAD OF PEOPLE.

NOWADAYS, I DON'T HAVE MUCH

REASON TO GO OUT THAT FAR

OUTSIDE OF TOWN, NOT ANYMORE.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

I SURE AS HELL WON'T LET MY KIDS

GO OUT THERE.

EVERY NOW AND THEN, WHEN SOME

CITY KID COMES UP MISSING, I

HEAR A NEWS STORY THAT SAYS THA THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SWALLOWED UP

BY SOME GHOSTS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'VE HEARD A MILLION STORIES.

SOMEBODY HEARD SOMETHING,

SOMEBODY SAW SOMETHING -- THINGS

LIKE THAT.

BUT ONLY STORIES.

YOU GOT TO STOP WASTING TIME

WITH ME.

YOU SHOULD BE TALKING TO

MRS. CAMPBELL.

SHE KNOWS IT ALL.

HELL, SHE'S SEEN IT ALL.

USED TO BE A NURSE UP THERE.

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

I'LL TELL HER YOU'RE COMING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH, YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO ASK

ABOUT THAT, YOU KIDS, YOU ASK

MRS. CAMPBELL.

SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH.

[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

NUMBER 25.

WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT.

DUDE, I GET A BAD VIBRATION

FROM THIS PLACE.

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE F***ED

UP, BUT IT'S NOT EXACTLY

"TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE,"

EITHER.

YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, EVER SINCE

WE'VE COME TO THIS GODDAMN

DESERT, I JUST FEEL LIKE WE'RE

GONNA GET SHOT, OR WE'RE GONNA

GET RABIES OR SOME RIDICULOUS

BULLSHIT LIKE THAT.

COMING TO A PLACE LIKE THAT,

IT'S LIKE WE'RE JUST ASKING FOR

IT.

WELL, THEN, STAY IN THE CAR.

WE DON'T NEED YOU, ANYWAY.

THANKS.

ACTUALLY, I'M JUST GONNA GO

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