Anna Nicole Page #4

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Anna, the client needs sexy.

If you can't bare your top,

I don't think I can make this work.

Price of fame, huh?

Mind getting me some champagne,

handsome? Think it's in the next room.

Somewhere in my standard contract

came to be an unmentioned mentioned.

That there would be certain items

available.

I didn't ask for the Xanax,

quaaludes and Dom

to be waiting on me in Greece

like long-lost pals.

They just were.

Hi. I'm Howard K. Stern,

Hey.

And I need a discreet table.

I'm meeting Anna Nicole Smith.

Actually, Miss Smith is already here.

Hmm.

- Mm.

- Man.

That is good. Mm.

That's a nice piece of meat.

Hey, look, Anna.

Mm?

I feel I need to be forthright

about something, Anna.

Give it a rip.

Well, here's the thing.

My law firm isn't gonna be able to...

Anna?

Isn't gonna be able to represent you.

I was kind of thinking

about leaving anyway.

So I didn't have to focus

on any other clients,

and I could just focus on you.

It would be an honor

to take you straight back to the top

where you belong.

Howard.

You really mean that?

About it being an honor?

Yes, I do, Anna Nicole Smith.

I do.

So you're asking me

to hitch my wagon to yours,

but the question is, Howard,

can your wagon handle the ride?

Hmm?

What's that?

F-U-N.

Fun. Ha-ha-ha. Mm. Mm.

- She's actually...

- Howard.

- Anna.

- Where have you been?

I'm schmoozing

with my new best buddy.

This is Sali Elaha.

He's an indie producer with a killer,

killer action script that's...

It's almost financed, right?

SALl:
Yes.

- Almost, yes.

- Yeah. Almost financed.

And you're...

It's basically you in a helicopter...

Helicopters.

You've got guns. You're the hero.

It's you. It's the Anna Nicole movie.

SALl:
Yes, yes.

Sali. Sali Elaha,

Sali.

Meet Anna Nicole Smith.

I have been fond always of your

celebrity, Miss Anna Nicole.

Howard has been telling me

by looking for my Skyscraper actress...

The movie's called Skyscraper.

Yes.

It takes place in a skyscraper.

Skyscraper.

That's the type of movie

we've been looking for.

That's what we've been talking about.

Yeah.

Mr. Elahaha.

No, no. Just one "ha." Not "haha."

Word up, the boys arrived

And the lips start moving

When you walk in the room

Your eyes, your style, your smile

Got a sky high, supersize

jonesin' for you

So come and give me

Animal, chemical, visceral, physical

Marilyn got Joe DiMaggio

and President J-effing-K.

And I got the two Howards.

Hey, Dad.

How you feeling?

Not so good.

What you got?

I need you to sign some papers for me.

And what would I be signing?

Oh, nothing of any real substance.

Just usual business stuff.

I...

Ah...

It's all right.

Just right here.

And one more right here.

I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

Yeah.

Hi. This is Anna Nicole Smith.

I need to speak to E. Pierce

and I need to speak to him now.

Hello, Anna Nicole.

And how are you today?

My check just bounced.

Oh, yeah. I suppose it did.

I probably should've informed you

that I now have total control

of my father's estate.

And just an FYI.

If you don't like it, you can shove it

in whatever orifice you see fit.

J. Howard promised me 50 times he was

gonna take care of me and Danny.

Not to mention what it could do

to our company.

I mean, worst comes,

we got to finance our own movie.

We can't do it without J. Howard's

money.

And he always said he wanted

to help me with my career.

If you don't have some evidence

to back up what you're saying,

it really doesn't matter how sincere it is.

You know,

it's not gonna mean anything.

Paw Paw?

I just need you to tell me what you've

always been telling me, Paw Paw.

Can you do that for me?

Tell me how you're gonna

take care of me and Danny?

Just speak the words.

You've missed your big rosebuds,

haven't you, Paw Paw?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Just talk about me and Danny.

Mother?

Is that you, Mother?

Where have you been, Mother?

Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost

But now I'm found

Was blind, But now can see

That was a beautiful service,

Anna.

J. Howard would've loved it.

Yeah.

I've had a writ printed up

to begin proceedings

to get you the money that you need

to support you and Daniel.

All you got to do is sign.

Jeez, Howard.

Look, Anna,

E. Pierce is already moving

on the legal front.

And if we don't, you and Daniel

are gonna be left out in the cold.

I guess being a wife

don't account for much.

For the next 10 years,

E. Prick kept fighting Howard

with all those lawyers

and made damn sure Danny and me

never saw one red cent

of Paw Paw's billions.

Thanks for talking to me today.

So I've been spending a lot of time

with Anna Nicole recently.

I don't know how much you know,

but I handle her legally. Heh.

And her life, it's pretty interesting.

You know, she certainly speaks to men.

She doesn't even have to speak. Heh.

We have funny, heh,

banters and things.

Danny, her boy, is great.

He's terrific, and he's real funny

and just a sweet kid.

Not camera-shy at all.

They have a real funny...

And then you have just... You have a dog.

Anyway, he's... She's...

He is great.

Not an overstatement to say

you'd have the next Osbournes.

With Anna as the Oz.

Busty Oz.

Anna, Anna, glamorous Anna,

Anna Nicole

Action.

This is it, J. Howard, our new home.

Danny.

You want to show J. Howard

our new house?

No, I don't, and I'm not doing this.

Cut. Cut.

Are you gonna talk to him or am I?

Yeah, I'll talk to him.

We need to have more cooperation

out of you.

This is bogus. Mom,

I don't want to do this.

Get that thing out of my face, okay?

I'm talking to my son.

- Come on, come on.

- It's not that big a deal.

You were walking around

with J. Howard's remains.

Talking to him like he's still alive,

and we look like a bunch of freaks.

We do not, and I love Paw Paw.

They got us this house.

They're giving us money.

What do you want from me?

Fine.

Then do it, but just do it without me,

okay?

Danny, that's not really an option.

Because Howard already told them

that it's me, you, and him.

You know, we're an eccentric,

lovable family.

And, you know, Howard thinks

this show could get me a star

on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Okay, but Howard just tells you

what you want to hear, Mom.

Oh, come on, Danny.

That's not true. I tell him what to do.

Do you realize you and a camera

are like a moth and a flame?

What are you talking about?

What does that mean?

I'm sorry. He's shy.

Look, Anna, it's gonna be okay.

I promise.

Maybe Danny's right.

Little much with the ashes.

Anna, you got to trust us on this.

Nobody wants normal.

Your life,

the audience wants it bigger than life.

Funny, outrageous, the foibles of life

that someone as glamorous as you

that reached the peaks

you've reached

can have moments that are

as down-to-earth as any of us.

- That's what they wanna see.

- Remember in the pilot

when you got your fanny stuck under the

table like Winnie the Pooh? Adorable.

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