Anonymous 616

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1

(rattling)

(wind howling)

(clanking)

(uneasy music)

(static noise)

(static noise)

(pants)

Oh, my God.

Oh, f***!

(groans)

(eerie music)

(music builds)

Jenna.

No. Jenna.

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, what happened?

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna,

Jenna, no, no, no, baby,

no, no, no, no, Jenna,

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.

(groans)

Monica, Monica, Monica!

Monica, who did this?

Who did this?

(Monica mumbles)

Monica, Monica!

(sobs)

(water splashing)

(dialing)

[Woman On Phone] 911,

what's your emergency?

Yes, I uh...

I...

Yeah, I'm very sorry, I meant to dial

411, not 911.

(clears throat)

Very sorry.

Thank you.

(beeps)

(panting)

(dramatic music)

(man chuckles)

I wanna propose a toast.

Let's drink to our friendship,

and let's not wait another

freaking two years

before we meet up again.

(door knocks)

(panting)

(door knocks)

(knocking)

(laughs)

[Jason] What's up, boy?

Jason!

F***, it's been a minute.

Oh, I missed you so much, man, so much!

Jenna.

Eric.

Looking beautiful as always.

Oh, thank you.

Long time no see.

Too long, I'd say.

Too long.

Here, this is for you.

Oh, thank you.

2008, it's a terrible

year for real estate,

great year for champagne though.

Come on in, guys.

Hey, you, guys!

Hi, it's so good to finally meet you.

[Monica] Yeah, me too.

Hey.

Hey.

Eric has told us so much about you.

Dude.

For you.

What's this?

Open it up, man.

(rustling)

Oh, my God!

(chuckles)

Dude, I thought we lost this picture.

[Jason] Yeah, right, crazy, huh?

Where did you find this?

Behind an old dresser, by chance.

I thought you might like to have it.

Yeah, you kidding?

Thank you.

This was right in the

middle of my divorce.

Best getaway ever, dude.

Yeah, except that fish hooked in my ass.

(laughs)

You mean my favorite part?

(laughs)

Dude, look at you!

Damn!

Wow!

That's nice.

[Eric] Thank you, you like it?

[Jason] Yeah.

Monica did that.

Aw, she's so modest,

but she's so talented.

Dude, this is a great place.

Great neighborhood too.

Great, great neighborhood, man.

That's what I keep saying, man.

They're putting up 24 new

houses on this street alone.

We're the first ones to move in.

You know what that means?

No, sir.

(loud heavy metal music)

(laughs)

(metal music blares)

(stops)

We can party as loud

as we want to, dude!

That's awesome, that's what's up!

Oh, come on in, let's

open the champagne bottle.

Yeah, sounds good.

How about that?

I wanna propose a toast.

Let's drink to our

friendship, and let's not wait

another freaking two years

before we meet up again.

[Eric] Yes, sir.

[All] Cheers!

[Jason] That's it.

I am so happy to see you, guys.

We were hoping to have

you guys over once we had

fully moved in, but...

Dude, Jenna tells me

you're shipping off to Iraq

again next week?

Yes, sir, my third and last tour.

Thank God.

What's it like over there?

Oh, you know, hot and

dirty just the way I like it.

[Monica] Aren't you scared?

Of what?

Dying?

No, no, ma'am.

How about that?

What's it called, PT...?

Oh, PTSD?

Yeah.

Posttraumatic stress disorder.

We hear so much about

that in the news lately.

Nah, I have seen some pretty awful stuff

over there, but...

But for some reason it

doesn't really affect me.

You got any stories?

Eric.

He said it doesn't affect him.

Nah, it's cool, it's cool, I don't mind.

Most people are afraid to ask.

So, yeah, my...

My best buddy over there was

John, this big black dude,

tough as nails.

But he did have one weakness.

He had a soft spot for the stray dogs.

And the dogs, they knew it too.

They would follow him around until

he fed them his last beef jerky and stuff.

It's cute.

So, yeah, this real

sad-looking dog showed up one day

and went directly up to big John.

And the two hit it off right away,

it was amazing to watch.

It was like they already knew each other.

John said to me:
"Yo

Jason, dude, brother man!

(laughing)

"This is the one, this is the one

I'm gonna take home with me!

And uh...

He was cool as sh*t, Eric.

He was cool as sh*t, man.

Next thing we know there

was this huge explosion

and we all got thrown back.

And once the dust settled,

I turned to John and one arm

and half his face was blown off.

My God.

Yeah, it was horrendous.

He struggled in pain to

ask me one last thing.

He asked if I could take

care of his new dog.

I said, "Yes, sir, yes, absolutely."

And... Then he died

right there in my arms.

(dramatic music)

The thing he didn't know though

was that the terrorists had put explosives

within the dog's belly and

detonated it from afar.

I'm sorry, man, that's terrible.

Yes, sir, a lot of crazy

sh*t happens over there.

Believe you me, and that's

just one of the mild stories,

but uh...

Anyway, we needn't gotta

talk about all that.

So what have you been up to, dude,

for the last couple of years

that you can afford a place like this?

God damn!

Crazy!

Well, you know, after

my divorce was finalized,

I switched real estate

companies, same job description,

just a f***-ton more money.

And that is where I met my sweetheart.

Aw!

Cute.

Could you believe it, she was

working as the receptionist?

Are you kidding me?

First thing I see when I

walk in there, I'm thinking,

"Wow, this chick's hot."

Right?

So I gotta get in for a closer look.

I come up and that's when

I see the memento card

she's got hanging behind

her and it's got a picture

of a sold house on it and

it says, "If you liked it..."

"If you liked it you

should've put a ring on it."

(laughs)

I mean, for me it was

love at first sight.

And for me it was love at...

About the 10th sight?

(laughs)

I wanna see your ring.

Sure.

Ooh, well done, Eric.

Thank you.

We'll be married end of next year.

Oh, congratulations!

That's really great, man.

Thank you, thank you.

You know what the best part is...

She's got a 12-year-old

daughter named Emily.

So we're gonna be like a real family.

Oh, that's awesome, I'm

so happy for you, guys.

[Eric and Monica] Thank you.

Where's the kiddo now?

Oh, she's in her room,

watching all of the

Lord of the Rings films.

It's her birthday tomorrow.

Nice.

(doorbell rings)

Ooh!

That must be the Chinese food!

[Jenna] Yay!

[Jenna] This smells so amazing.

[Eric] Guys, this is Emily.

[Emily] Hi, everyone.

[Jenna] Hi, Emily.

- Hi, mom.

- Aw, you're so adorable!

[Monica] And some veggies, please.

So, Emily, how is the movie?

Oh, TD!

I'm doing a Lord of the Rings marathon.

TD means To Die.

Yeah, I know, trust me.

[Jenna] Oh, you do?

(chuckles)

How is the new tablet working

out with the headphones?

Oh, great.

[Eric] Excellent.

This is for you.

You want some of this?

Uh-huh.

(creepy music)

[Eric] How about some chicken?

Yeah.

And veggies, please.

[Eric] All right, Mom

says you gotta have veggies.

Throw some of those on your plate.

Okay, okay.

(chuckles)

[Jason] Is that dead fish?

(laughs)

(rumbling)

(mellow music)

[Jason] Light it up.

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