Another Gay Movie Page #2

I was talking about a

different Mr. Puckov.

Your... Dad!

Thank you.

So.

You gonna take those off?

Maybe.

Good.

'Cause I want you inside me.

Ah, no.

I'm allergic to latex.

Bareback me, straight-boy.

Ahhhhhhh!

Ah... so much better.

I had it made.

Home free and then he went

and blew chunks all over me!

Every dog has his day, J.

Unfortunately, our lives

aren't coming-of-age films...

where everyone magically

gets laid at the climax.

This isn't

American Pie, Mary.

What's a boy gotta do

to get some MAN SNATCH?!

Deeper, Billy.

Harder!

I love you, Trena.

What is wrong

with this picture?

Everyone's kickin' it,

'cept us.

If the heteros can have

pre-marital intercourse,

we homos should, too.

Hey, why don't you and

Griff just f*** each other?

Ewww -- no.

We're like brothers!

Besides, we're both

exclusive tops.

And regardless, he

is so not my type.

Oh yeah?

What's wrong with me?

Yeeeeeeeees!

Plow that P*SSY!

Oh my goodness.

Like, thanks, Dawn.

I'll never forget this.

Pleasure's all mine, Suzi.

Dawn's awesome!

Thanks for showing

me my G-spot, Dawn.

Anytime, Buffi.

My GOD.

Bye, Tiki.

Dawn make-a Tiki leaky.

Oooh!

Me love you long time.

Once Dawn strikes.

they ALL go dyke.

Virgins.

What the fuuuck!

What the fuuuck!?

Muffler.

She lays half the

cheerleading squad...

and we can't even

cop a hand-job!

We're all gonna go to

college... virgins!

Brainstorm, boyz.

We just need to make a pact.

We all get laid before

the end of the summer.

As if we haven't

been trying already.

We don't know

sh*t about anal.

Maybe we've been taking

the wrong approach.

Maybe what we need...

is someone to teach us.

Certainly logical.

But... who?

College guys, older dudes,

men with experience.

Studs who can break us in and

show us how to kick it RIGHT.

I'm beginning to

like this idea.

Guys our age are sexually and

emotionally immature anyway.

I want a seasoned older

gentleman who can f***...

all night and then

discuss the filmography...

of Shelly Winters in the morning.

Perhaps what you

want is a daddy.

No way, horsecock!

It's just

older men are... HOT!

Our very virginity is

at stake here, fellas.

This is it, this summer.

This is our chance to make

all our fantasies come true!

YES!

First we each need to define

whether we're top or a bottom.

Well, wait... we

have to choose?

Well I, for one, am 100% top.

Of course, me too.

Who would want anything

up their butthole,

in the first place?

I hope you're

writing this down.

But... I could be

into a dude, like,

you know... taking control.

Riding me.

I'm putting you down

as a "submissive top."

Not that I wouldn't consider

something in my back door.

As long as it was small.

Like, a finger.

Submissive top,

pinky bottom.

Isn't anyone "bottom curious?"

What are you

curious about, Andy?

Ohhh... ahhhh... we were

just talkin about...

where do you get

your hair done,

cause my mom is looking

for a new place?

Oh, thanks.

I highly recommend

Wal-Mart's Beauty Salon.

Tell her to ask

for Mr. Lance.

He is a genius with

a curling iron...

and such a flirt!

See!?

She just doesn't get it.

What about you, Griff?

Still thinkin'

you're a top-daddy?

Yes.

But I don't know.

I mean, it's all

so theoretical.

That leaves you, Andy.

Well I'm a top -- of course!

"PUSSYBOY IN DENIAL."

Okay, so... we all agree that

we're gonna fulfill the pact...

by penetrating a

member of the same sex.

What's the deadline?

Muffler's Labor Day

Bash makes good sense.

That gives us the

entire summer.

All in favor?

Aye.

Motion's carried.

Ready or not,

butt love here we COME!

Okay, okay -- a little

to the left, honey.

Right there, great.

Now zoom out.

I bet you look so handsome!

Who's my daddy?

- Son, I...

- Dad!

Oh, dear Lord!

Can you knock?!

Oh, jeez.

- I was...

- I had...

I didn't seen anything.

Okay.

Whatever it was

you were doing...

it's completely normal.

What were you doing, anyway?

I was... grooming myself.

Is that a gay thing, son?

I don't know.

Do you shave yourself?

- Well...

- No!

You don't have

to answer that.

Andy... in light of what

happened the other day...

I thought that you deserved

an early birthday present.

Thank you.

Well... open her up?

What is it?

It's a butt plug.

The butt plug,

Andy, is a device,

generally made of

polyurethane,

used to stimulate

the anal cavity.

This, of course, is

the deluxe model.

and ah... this is the

starter model, of course,

with the handy suction base.

Viola.

"Anal Pleasure and Health"?

Oh, Andy.

This book was

VERY informative.

In fact, I took the liberty

of highlighting some of the...

passages under the chapter

"Getting to Know Your Sphincter."

Oh, Andy, Andy Andy.

Being the receptive partner

in a homosexual relationship...

is nothing to be

ashamed about.

Okay?

Yeah, thank you.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

In fact, this figure here 7.2

demonstrates the remarkable...

adaptability of

the human anus.

Oh My God!

What?

Look...

Yeah!

Okay, Dad - thank you!

That's incredible, isn't it?

What are these?

Oh, those are

for your mother.

I sure know here size.

Okay, I thought this

went very, very well.

And if you have anything else

that you wish to talk about,

you feel free to come

knocking on my door,

or call me, or even

a text message.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Great, it's just been great.

And ah, we'll talk.

Sorry.

Come on, Andy!

Come on now.

You got it, you got it.

Oh yeah.

Strike two!

You can do it, Andy.

You must "f***-us".

Go Andy, run, run!

Strike three,

you're out!

Yo.

I'm Beau.

Hey.

Jarod.

So... do you pitch or catch?

I pitch.

How 'bout you?

Pitcher, in the streets.

Catcher in the sheets.

Strike one.

So, what are the chances of us

playing some ball sometime?

What are the chances of you

whackin' this ball over that fence?

Did you know the male animal

can achieve orgasm...

without even stimulating his shaft?

Ah, hello - Did YOU know

Muffler is spreading a rumor...

that Mr. Puckov trolls chatrooms

under the screen name "Rodzilla."

HOT!

Wish me luck, boys, I just

booked a date with baseball boy.

Oh yeah?

What's his name, anyway?

Biff?

Blaine?

BLAND?

Beau!

And why do you keep

bustin' on him, like that?

He's like perfect!

Perfectly boring!

YIPPEE!

I got a response,

I got a response.

Okay, the internet IS

the way to hook up!

He's a little young

for me, but...

He loves Liza with a

Z, and role playing,

and investment banking.

Ka-ching.

Damn!

That's almost as

big as Griff's.

You okay?

I've got a headache.

There's aspirin in my

Dad's... medicine cabinet.

Where's the soap?

Score.

Yes!

I'm growing!

It's stuck!

What the...?

Son!

What is going on?

Help!

Get it off me!

Okay, don't panic.

We can do this

together, okay.

I'm gonna brace, and

you brace, and you PULL!

F***!

Awwwwwwww!

Okay, I have another idea.

Now, hold on there - and

I'm gonna smash this bugger!

Fire in the hole!

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