Another Gay Movie Page #3

FIRE!

Aaaaah!

Aaaaaaahhh!

Aaaaaaaaahhhh!

You know, kids... penis length

is nothing to be ashamed about.

Dad.

I frequently measured my own

penis when I was your age.

Matter of fact, I still do.

But no matter where

I place that ruler,

darned if I can

break five inches.

So, Jarod. I know what it's

like to feel insecure...

about your manhood.

Well, it all started back

in my Navy days...

you know, showering with

my fellow seamen.

Oh my God.

Yes, siree... oh boy, we spent

a lot of time in the showers.

There was this one sailor...

Zeke McGee was his name,

gosh darned if Zeke's "snake"...

didn't hang down

past his knees.

And if I close my eyes

and think about it...

I can SMELL it,

like it was yesterday.

Do you still keep in

touch with Big Zeke?

Now that

you mention it...

Dad!

Thank you for rescuing Jarod.

Now will you please

get out of here.

Certainly.

But before I go,

I just want to say...

that I really enjoyed

our little chat.

Oh my goodness.

Step, step, PUNCH!

Step, step.

Bounce... bounce bounce!

Step, step, PUNCH!

Step, step, PUNCH!

Sweat!

Bounce, bounce.

Step, step, PUNCH!

Down!

Bounce, bounce.

Step, PUNCH!

Arch your backs.

Alright, alright.

Take five, take five,

booty break.

My God... she's is

such a slavedriver!

I know, my ass has

NEVER been tighter.

Yo, yo.

What's wrong, dawg?

I need more maximus

in my gluteus.

You lookin' fine to me, Papi.

Whassup?

Angel.

Pleasure to meet you.

I'm Griff.

You want a homey

to notice your ass?

You gotta work it on OUT.

Yo DJ, pump up the volume!

You know what you got, dawg?

Like what you see, Papi?

Indeed.

I dance at Bodangles.

You want a private lesson...

Holla.

Right on!

Sh*t!

Maybe this isn't my sport.

You just need few pointers.

Here, stand behind me.

Now feel how I grip my stick.

I could teach you

a thing or two.

Mmm-hmmm.

Big time CUM WHORE!

They're all gonna

laugh at you!

They're all gonna

laugh at you!

White party,

black party, red party,

geez, it all sounds

so sophisticated!

Yeah, I got so high

at the last Blue Ball.

that I woke up with

a glow stick up my ass.

It was blue.

Ya know, we get you outta

those clothes and into the gym,

you'll be

ready to party!

My friends call me

"K," by the way.

Cool.

Is that short for something?

Yeah, K-hole.

But I'm all past that now.

That's probably

for the best.

Yeah, these days

it's all about the "G."

I beg your pardon?

GHB, girlfriend!

Whew!

You know what?

I am an expert at dosing

right up to the limit.

Whaddaya know, there's

a Charles Nelson Reilly...

marathon on the

Game Show Network!

Man, I am WICKED horny!

Are you okay?

Oh my God!

One, two, three, four.

It's not working -

it's not working.

DO something.

What are you DOING?

Give me some of that.

I mean, let me try.

We're not going to

lose another one.

His belt's too tight.

He's not breathing,

he's not breathing.

Get some air in there!

Oh, good Lord - it's

time for defrib.

Lube, lube.

Plan B - LUBE.

Three, two, one - CLEAR!

Three, two, one - CLEAR!

Three, two, one - CLEAR!

Muthafucker!

Holy sh*t, it worked.

Mom?

Dad?

Anyone home?

Hey, little guy.

Son!

It's not what it looks like!

Andy?!

- Ooohh!

- Ahhhhh!

Don't overreact.

I'm sure there's an explanation.

Oh my GOD!

Mommie, I'm so sorry!

I'm not mad at you,

I'm mad at the CRUMBS!

This is not good,

it's not CLEAN!

Mom?

I didn't hear you.

You didn't come home.

What's going on?

I think...

I like guys.

DUH!

What took you so long?

I was sure you led an

"alternative lifestyle"...

the first time you did Madonna.

I mean, cripe, how many three

year-olds can say...

they've performed her entire

"Blonde Ambition" concert?

Oh, "Strike a pose!"

Remember?

Gotta admit though, I did

start to suspect a lot earlier.

Oh, see how you already had

that little "swish" in your step?

Oh yeah, you were always

Mommie's "special boy".

There you are at your

first rock concert.

Carol Channing was

on fire that night!

Oh, and that's the time you

dressed up like Karen Black...

in Airport '75 when

we flew to Florida.

"There's nobody

flying the plane!"

Okay, okay!

I get it!

Come on, get in!

GET WET!

I'm getting a start

on my summer reading.

Hey, cut it out!

No, Jarod!

No!

You know I pinned

you yesterday.

No!

Wo-ow.

Look at those.

What?

Oh my God.

I think I'm gonna f*** Beau.

That's excellent.

Yeah.

We've been gettin'

really close.

Almost did it the other day,

but... I stopped.

How come?

I don't know.

I'm scared, Griff.

What if I'm not ready?

Well, the way I see it...

if you really like him,

and you trust him...

then I say, go for it.

No one understands

me like you do, Griffin.

You're the best.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally!

BDSM?

Of course.

Oh yeah!

Um... delicious.

Oh yeah!

What is the emergency?

Griff finally tapped into

the security system...

in the locker room.

Straight boy's

about to get naked.

Get the f*** out of here, man.

Place your bets,

Gentleman.

Ten bucks he's a show-er!

Baby's got BACK!

Dude, turn around.

Deliver the package!

You guys are ill,

you know that?

How so?

Look at yourselves, lusting

after the straight guy...

you can never have.

Aren't we beyond that?

It's so '90's.

He dropped the soap!

This is so wrong.

We have bush.

Repeat, we have bush.

Oh... my.

Can you zoom in on that?

Yes, indeed.

Our boy's a show-er!

Is he doing what I

think he's doing?

He's fingering himself!

He is a show-er AND a grower.

Abercrombie & B*TCH!

Where the heck is Andy?!

Andy?

Can I still come in?

Rodzilla?

Oh, what the hell.

So, I take it you have

utmost experience?

In "the scene?"

Oh yeah.

I'm an old pro.

Cool hammock.

Right.

I use bicycle horn instead

of the safety-words.

Excuse me while I go to slip into

something more comFORTable.

Right on!

What are you wearing?

You mentioned water sports...

in case we wanted to take a dip.

Marco... polo.

C'mon!

Go back to

lick-my-hairy-cherry.com!

Holy sh*t.

What the f***?!

There's a website where you

can tell the master...

what you want

to do to the slave...

Go to

rodzillas-interactive-dungeon.org.

We're busy, Muff-ster.

Yeah, sorry to break up

your little circle-jerk,

but that's an ORDER!

Hey, put that back!

Oh... my... God.

Rodzilla!

Mr. Puckov!

This is for my

Muslim comrades.

Imperialist American SVINE!

Ah, NO!

Your "ugly American" scene

is driving me insane.

Have another cheeseburger,

capitalist animal!

OUCH!

Oh my goodness.

This is for Kathie Lee.

Kelly Ripa, she sucks!

Oh, go on, type

something in!

Teach him a lesson!

Okay, I'm serious,

that's enough.

Could we just talk this out?

Look, he hears us!

Ahhhh!

Supersize THIS,

mother-f***er!

No. No. No. No. No...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.

Holy sh*t!

FIST HIS ASS!

What's with the Cwisco?

This might take the edge off.

Ewwww!

Okay, Mr. Puckov?

You like my table?

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