Another Kind of Wedding

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1

(Water runs)

(Computer calling sounds)

Barbara:
Hello!

Ah, wait. All right.

Let me get the earplugs!

Where is that video

button thing?

Oh there! I see you!

Oh, Matthew, darling?

How is Berlin? Hm?

What?!

When?! Where?!

Matthew!

Oh! Oh! Wait! Wait! Wait!

You heard her clearly?

You sure that she said "yes".

(Happy laughter)

Oh, darling, that is wonderful!

Ya ya ya ya ya ya

Yeah, ah, ah, ah

Ya ya ya ya ya ya

Yeah

There is flame, a flame

A big flame in my heart

Yeah, yeah, yeah

(Sighs)

And believe me

When I say it's burning

real hard

Yeah, yeah, yeah

It's burning for you

Even though we are through

This big flame, boy,

Is gonna break my heart

in two

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah

Oh oh oh...

There is a flame, a flame

A big flame in my heart

Yeah, yeah, yeah

And I think it's gonna tear

my heart apart

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So baby, won't you

Tell me what you're gonna do

This big flame, boy,

Is gonna break my heart

in two

Maybe if you could feel

All the heartaches

I can feel

You wouldn't let

foolish time

Push our love aside

Yeah

This flame, this flame

This big flame in my heart

Yeah, yeah, yeah

This lust's about to

Rip my heart apart

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Baby, won't you

Hurry home to my rescue

This big flame, boy,

Is gonna rip my heart in two

Babe, a big flame

Baby, for you

Babe, a big flame

Ohhh, such a big flame

Babe, a big flame

- I love this house.

- Yeah, ditto.

It's in great shape too. Here.

- (Water drips)

- Oh.

Jesus Christ! Mom!

Misha:
That's a leak.

Looks minor though.

Mom!

(Alarm blares)

(Frustrated sigh)

- Mom!

- Agh!

Why aren't you ready yet?

The alarm didn't go off.

Oh, f***... it did.

Cibby came over last night

and we had couple pisco sours

and random daiquiri and...

John, would you stop

that f***ing racket!

You told me to be here,

Barbara!

Carry on!

- How was your trip?

- Oh, wonderful!

Yeah. I love Vietnam,

oh, I could live in a hut

and sit there and read

for the rest of my life.

You're tanned.

You're white,

you need get some sun.

No I don't actually. My

melatonin and Vitamin D levels

are exactly where

I want them to be.

Is that-is that freshly

squeezed orange juice?

(Loud sawing outside)

Oh, we have to remember

to pick up my date.

Wait a sec,

you're bringing a date?

Since when? Who is she?

He... a former colleague,

teaches ecology and math.

Very, very well I might add.

So, you're still renting

your room to Q, I guess?

- He's the bike courier.

- Right.

Indeed I am.

Oh, he got hit by a car

yesterday.

He got a concussion, he's okay,

just a little confused,

keeps calling me Ronald.

Well, I'm, I'm very sorry

to hear that but...

don't you think he could give

you back your room

- while you're in town?

- That sounds fair, Ronald.

He's paying for it! It's his.

That's what renting

the f***ing thing means, dear!

(Loud sewing)

Oh!

John, stop that f***ing racket!

John:
You told me to be here,

Barbara!

(Sighs)

- (Rock music plays)

- Oh, hey Q, how are you?

Pretty good, pretty good.

Well, I got hit by a car

yesterday.

Oh yeah, I heard.

Have you seen Ronald?

No, that is... that's not

anybody.

There is nobody who lives here

whose name is Ronald.

Well, I gotta get to work.

- Have a good day, Q.

- You too.

(Bulgarian accent)

Ugh! I hate that painting.

It makes me want to barf.

- Uh... I'm sorry, who are you?

- I live here.

For the moment anyway,

cuz it's cheap as f***.

Yeah. I'm looking

for my brother,

do you know where he is?

(Rapping)

...late night, giving a f***

- Hi bro.

- Not your bro.

Why aren't you ready?

- Hm.

- Oh, that's gross, dude.

Magda, Carrie.

Carrie is my sister.

She's... (gulp) excuse me...

charming and beautiful

and she's a yoga instructor.

Oh, she uh, she did that

painting too.

Yeah, I did.

I'll be right down. Yeah...

turn the washing machine on,

there is lots of people

in the house.

Oh, God.

(Doors slam)

(Door creaks open)

Hiya!

This is a home invasion,

hit the ground!

Take whatever you want.

The only valuable thing here

is me.

- (Barbara shoots)

- Ugh!

I like your confidence.

Oh, my back!

Oh, honey.

There is my, baby?

(Laughs)

Oh, Barb!

It's so great to see you.

- How was South East Asia?

- Oh, it was marvelous!

I went to something called

a "full moon party".

I don't remember much of it.

Let's go.

(Slides)

How is your acting going,

Kurt?

Good. Yeah.

I'm in the mix for

a recurring on "CSI".

What? That's amazing!

I'm so proud of you, man.

- Ha.

- You're a great actor, man.

When have you-when have you

ever seen me act?

In the play.

About that thing.

Yeah. (Exhales)

You notice how mom says "oh"

all the time?

Like, she applies it

to every emotion.

Like happy:
Oh!

Sad:
Like Ooooh!

Surprised:
OOOOOHHH!

Has she been singing?

Only in the shower?

Do you think she's a little too

old to do all this traveling?

I think it's cool.

It's not like she's staying

in youth hostels.

I'd fact check that.

This is how people react

when they're in a crisis.

She can't be home because that

would mean facing her reality.

Barbara:
OOOHHH Misha!

Open the back, please!

(They chuckle)

(Engine turns, door shuts)

Barbara:
...so when Daria

gets back from Russia

she'll take the solarium,

I'll move to the couch.

(Loud thud) OH!

Kurt:
What the f*** was that?!

- I'm okay! Totally fine!

Barbara:
You okay Q?

It's part of the job!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

O! Motown!

Listen now...

From the Rooter

to the Tooter

You a bad motor scooter

Right or wrong...

Can we talk about the Eastern

European child

- living in my bedroom?

- Oh, Magda, isn't she lovely?

So you don't mind

that Kurt's f***ing her?

- Ohhhh, my!

- He is?

Well, it's none of my business

but if you want

an honest opinion,

Screwing a 21-year-old

is symptomatic of Kurt

not taking himself seriously.

Then it is your business.

Oh, definitely.

(Kurt chuckles)

Well, it's my childhood

bedroom, okay?

And it's disgusting.

But it's not your room

anymore.

We packed up your Judy Blume

books

and your failed math exams.

Oh, you sucked in match.

That's so cute.

Kurt:
I think Q found

your vibrators.

He might be using them.

The least you could do

is mail them to me.

- Oh! (Laughs)

- Vibrators? Nice.

- Very nice!

- Okay.

Je reviendrai parmi vous,

Ah, ah, ah

On verra qui me manque trop

Ah, ah... c'est tout

Je reviendra malgr tout,

Ah, ah...

(Brakes squeak)

- There we go.

- F*** me.

- Well, that's great.

- Okay.

- Oh God!

- We're parked.

- Everybody good...

- Yeah.

- ...emotionally?

- Yep.

400 and 25 f***ing dollars

a night, for this place?

Yo Dude. Dude.

Recognize this t-shirt?

(Kurt chuckles)

No, should I?

It's Levi's.

Car-Carrie's Levi,

her ex-boyfriend?

Levi's the sh*t, man.

His music is so f***ing dope.

You must be really excited

to meet him, then?

Wore my favorite shirt,

didn't I?

Hey, there's the world

traveler!

Oh! Come here!

- Oh!

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